What A Week

fauxma
fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
It has been a week of ups and downs. Lots of finishes to chemo and radiation. Hooray for that. Some new NEDS. WHOO HOO let the dancing begin. But there has been many that have had not so good and down right bad news, others with upcoming tests that would scare the spots off a leopard. And that type of news always makes me sad. I think the least the PINK GODS could give us would be an October with only good news. But that's not going to happen. Hell, it was October 2008 when I received my diagnosis. But I can hope.
I have had some bad news of my own. Not about me, but about my darling Den. I can never remember what I have shared in the past so here is a little history. He is 71 years and up until August of 2009 had always worked at a physically demanding job and had no problems doing so until shortly before that August. Then he was more tired when he came home and slept more on the weekends but we attributed it to general aging. That August he was laid off from his job. I had been laid off that July. Well, that dropped our income hugely. He got on Medicare and I did the Cobra from his job but couldn't qualify for the reduced amount. So we pay over $800 a month for our medical. We could no longer afford our home, our 2nd car or our bills. Because of the real estate dive, our home was worth way less than we owed. So we filed for bankruptcy, went into foreclosure, gave up the 2nd car and let the bankruptcy take care of all the bills. In April of 2010, we moved into a small, cute apartment around the corner from our daughter and got on with our lives. All of this may sound terrible but it was not, it was the best thing we could have done. During the time between the layoff in August 2009, Den had been going to the doctor to see what was causing his tiredness, foot pain, etc. They found he has diabetes and neuropathy and high blood pressure and high cholesterol. Meds were given to help these and they did except for the tiredness. When we relocated here we begin with a new PCP (we both see him and really like him). He was concerned because Den has an old hernia (35+years) that has dropped and is causing Den discomfort. So we set up a surgical date (Oct 22nd). As part of the prep and because for the first time ever Den had an accelerated heart rate, the doctor ordered an EKG which came back with a minor problem and also showed that Den had a heart attack some time in the past. The doctor asked if he remembered having any signs of one and we can't think of one. That was last week. Today Den went for a Thallium treadmill stress test where they use dye to take pictures of the heart at both the beginning and end of the test. The doctor emailed us (the best way to communicate for us) that he has a block and that he wanted to start him immediately on a beta blocker and that he sent in a referral to a cardiac specialist. They should be calling Tuesday or Wednesday and at that appointment we will see where we will go. Could be medications, stent, or bypass? This explains the tiredness. I don't fault Den's first doctor because he was treating each thing as it showed up and Den did not have a rapid heart rate when he was treating him. The block was probably there then and that's why he was tired but we feel the heart attack didn't happen until after we moved here. He had been growing progressively more tired and the heart rate only showed up recently. We are grateful that our doctor is proactive and gets tests ordered and set up quickly (he set up the colonoscopy and endoscopy that I have been waiting for a year to have done in a week) We are also hopeful that this was caught and that it will be taken care of quickly. I am trying to keep my mantra, don't borrow trouble, going and so far so good. We will deal with each issue as it comes. It may be that the hernia surgery will be postponed. Den is hoping not because he said that it is actually bothering him quite a lot lately. My tests are scheduled for the end of October but that also may need to be put off. It's not like I am having symptoms or issues. They are just diagnostic because of my lynch syndrome and another month or two is not going to make a difference. Den also just sent in his Fecal Occult test and that better not come back needing more tests. I am not sure that I can handle anymore right now. Den is feeling guilty because he had not been to a doctor for anything since 1996. I comforted him that he goes when either I nag him enough or he has something wrong. In 1996 he jaundiced and was so ill but tried to convince me it would clear up on its own. I made an appointment and told him people that turn yellow must see a doctor. LOL He did see a doctor, it was a blocked pancreatic duct and it did resolve without surgery or complications and that was his last visit. He went for his 1st visit this time because I made an appointment and told him he had to. I should have know he wasn't doing so well because he didn't even complain or give me reasons not to go.
Sorry this is so long and it's not cancer related but I needed to not vent, but more get it off my chest and this is the place where I feel safe doing that. Thanks to all my online friends for listening to me ramble. I am a strong person but right now I can use some friend power in my corner.
To those with issues, any issues, new, old, cancer or not and to those also that are doing well and getting on with life, I love you and always have you in my heart and prayers.
Stef
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Comments

  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    Always your friend!
    Stef, you and Den have endured so much recently and now this. I am here for you, I am actually nearby as you are probably the closest sister in pink to me. If you need an ear to chew on pm me, no problem! I will keep you guys in my prayers, lets hope meds can take care of this problem and that your honey will be his spry self again soon. I know the scare this puts in you, My Guy was just put on meds for sky rocket high blood pressure...scary high. He has been taking it now for a week and thank fully we have seen improvement (we lost his mom to heart issue so there is a concern). I know Den is your world as Colin is mine, hugs to you gal I am in your court and you are in my prayers!

    (¯`•.•´¯) (¯`•.•´¯)
    *`•.¸(¯`•.•´¯)¸.•´ ♥
    ☆ º ♥ `•.¸.•´ ♥ º ☆.¸¸.•´¯`♥RE
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    RE said:

    Always your friend!
    Stef, you and Den have endured so much recently and now this. I am here for you, I am actually nearby as you are probably the closest sister in pink to me. If you need an ear to chew on pm me, no problem! I will keep you guys in my prayers, lets hope meds can take care of this problem and that your honey will be his spry self again soon. I know the scare this puts in you, My Guy was just put on meds for sky rocket high blood pressure...scary high. He has been taking it now for a week and thank fully we have seen improvement (we lost his mom to heart issue so there is a concern). I know Den is your world as Colin is mine, hugs to you gal I am in your court and you are in my prayers!

    (¯`•.•´¯) (¯`•.•´¯)
    *`•.¸(¯`•.•´¯)¸.•´ ♥
    ☆ º ♥ `•.¸.•´ ♥ º ☆.¸¸.•´¯`♥RE

    Re,
    Thank you for the support. Yes, Den is my world and I knew you would understand. I am okay right now but thank you for the offer and if I get overwhelmed and need a special shoulder I know you will be there. I think the hardest for me was seeing him go from a 71 year old whom people would ask to see an ID because they thought he was at least 10 years younger to a man that is now physically more of a 71 year old or older. This frustrates him so much and me as well. He could climb up trails and hike and go and go and now the trip around the corner to see the grandkids wears him out. I was concerned that our new doctor would just chalk up his lack of stamina to age but thankfully he understood perfectly when we explained where Den was a little over a year ago. We are a little further than we were when I was in Suisun but still not far from each. Perhaps when this is all resolved we could find some middle ground and meet for lunch. I would dearly love to meet you. I am hoping that if there is another get together in Southern California that Den and I can drive down like you and Colin did. Would love to meet all the gals. thank you again for your kind words.
    Stef
  • aysemari
    aysemari Member Posts: 1,596 Member
    My oh my
    you have battled and overcome so much. Thank you for sharing. Yes it sounds like
    you have been through hell and back, but what shines through for me, is your love
    for each other. It's very touching.

    Take good care of each other!

    Love,
    Ayse
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    fauxma said:

    Re,
    Thank you for the support. Yes, Den is my world and I knew you would understand. I am okay right now but thank you for the offer and if I get overwhelmed and need a special shoulder I know you will be there. I think the hardest for me was seeing him go from a 71 year old whom people would ask to see an ID because they thought he was at least 10 years younger to a man that is now physically more of a 71 year old or older. This frustrates him so much and me as well. He could climb up trails and hike and go and go and now the trip around the corner to see the grandkids wears him out. I was concerned that our new doctor would just chalk up his lack of stamina to age but thankfully he understood perfectly when we explained where Den was a little over a year ago. We are a little further than we were when I was in Suisun but still not far from each. Perhaps when this is all resolved we could find some middle ground and meet for lunch. I would dearly love to meet you. I am hoping that if there is another get together in Southern California that Den and I can drive down like you and Colin did. Would love to meet all the gals. thank you again for your kind words.
    Stef

    :-)
    You let me know when things are better and I would be honored to meet you at a halfway point for lunch, that would truly be wonderful!
    (¯`•.•´¯) (¯`•.•´¯)
    *`•.¸(¯`•.•´¯)¸.•´ ♥
    ☆ º ♥ `•.¸.•´ ♥ º ☆.¸¸.•´¯`♥RE
  • Moopy23
    Moopy23 Member Posts: 1,751 Member
    Always, Stef
    Ah, Stef, my extraordinary friend, I am so sorry that Den is enduring pain from the hernia, tiredness, and now the blockage. You love your Den as I do my Aortus, so I know the fear and anxiety you must be feeling. I admire you so much and always, always have you in my prayers.

    I will pray for Den's quick and effective treatment, and the least invasive. My friend Bobbie's husband has an inherited condition which causes blockages, but he is doing well, 12+ years after the diagnosis. Like Den, he just gradually grew increasingly tired after years of being active and working outdoors. He has had meds and stents and even a bypass over the years but continues to enjoy life and is an active Grandpa. The doctor caring for Den sounds so proactive; that is vital, and reassuring. (Not that you wouldn't/couldn't light a fire under any doctor, if need be.)

    Stef, you and Chen have the same strength and joy in life. No matter the obstacles, you face them with optimism and fortitude and humor. Your Den will be fine and back to enjoying your life together and your children soon. That is my prayer, and my faith. Please take care of yourself as much as you can, for yourself and Den.

    Love,
    Moopy
  • Aortus
    Aortus Member Posts: 967
    Moopy23 said:

    Always, Stef
    Ah, Stef, my extraordinary friend, I am so sorry that Den is enduring pain from the hernia, tiredness, and now the blockage. You love your Den as I do my Aortus, so I know the fear and anxiety you must be feeling. I admire you so much and always, always have you in my prayers.

    I will pray for Den's quick and effective treatment, and the least invasive. My friend Bobbie's husband has an inherited condition which causes blockages, but he is doing well, 12+ years after the diagnosis. Like Den, he just gradually grew increasingly tired after years of being active and working outdoors. He has had meds and stents and even a bypass over the years but continues to enjoy life and is an active Grandpa. The doctor caring for Den sounds so proactive; that is vital, and reassuring. (Not that you wouldn't/couldn't light a fire under any doctor, if need be.)

    Stef, you and Chen have the same strength and joy in life. No matter the obstacles, you face them with optimism and fortitude and humor. Your Den will be fine and back to enjoying your life together and your children soon. That is my prayer, and my faith. Please take care of yourself as much as you can, for yourself and Den.

    Love,
    Moopy

    I woke up to the sound of typing
    When my beloved little kitten feels the need, she can type so fast that the keyboard sounds like a machine gun. Why she needs to have a keyboard attached to her laptop, you'll have to ask her. But obviously she was agitated about something at 6:30 this morning, as she was getting ready for work, and now I know why.

    Like Moopy, I hope and pray and expect that Den's condition will be treated quickly and effectively, and that he will soon be back to doing all the wonderful things (big and small) we husbands do to drive our wives absolutely nuts. You and Den have already been through so very much, and I know that together you will get through this situation too. May God bless you both!

    Love,
    Aortus
  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    Stef, Wow. You do have a
    Stef, Wow. You do have a full plate right now. I have a very active husband, so I know what you mean. You KNOW something isn't right when he needs a nap. Be sure and take good care of yourself so you can take good care of each other! xoxoxo Lynn
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    Oh My..you do have a lot on your plate, don't you?
    Sweet, sweet Stef! If I have told you once, I have told you a million times~ Quit buying those oversized plates! Whenever you do, more and more gets piled on it, and now look what's happened? "Stuff" is spilling over the edges!

    I hope you are smiling, good friend, and that you know that I am truly not making light of any of your situation~either yours or Den's. I You are by no means a complainer, and I know you were simply re-capping the past years events, with the latest twists and turns.

    I am so glad that for whatever reasons, ( and I realize you are NOT blaming your other Dr) that you are now being seen and listened to and cared for by a pro-active physician! Bless his heart!

    Speaking of hearts....please know that mine is with you and Den both. You absolutely have friend power in your corner~ I love that phrase, Stef! And you know when I find words and phrases that I like, somehow, they become mine! :-) If you see those words in any of my posts, I thank you for loaning them to me!


    You have been such a friend and continued source of support to me~ please know that I wish for a good outcome of the tests both you and Den will be having!...and I know you will keep us informed. You are never more than a thought away, and I will be thinking all positive thoughts for the two of you.

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    Aw Stef, I send positive
    Aw Stef, I send positive thoughts and energy to you and Den. Sending big ((((hugs)))).
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    chenheart said:

    Oh My..you do have a lot on your plate, don't you?
    Sweet, sweet Stef! If I have told you once, I have told you a million times~ Quit buying those oversized plates! Whenever you do, more and more gets piled on it, and now look what's happened? "Stuff" is spilling over the edges!

    I hope you are smiling, good friend, and that you know that I am truly not making light of any of your situation~either yours or Den's. I You are by no means a complainer, and I know you were simply re-capping the past years events, with the latest twists and turns.

    I am so glad that for whatever reasons, ( and I realize you are NOT blaming your other Dr) that you are now being seen and listened to and cared for by a pro-active physician! Bless his heart!

    Speaking of hearts....please know that mine is with you and Den both. You absolutely have friend power in your corner~ I love that phrase, Stef! And you know when I find words and phrases that I like, somehow, they become mine! :-) If you see those words in any of my posts, I thank you for loaning them to me!


    You have been such a friend and continued source of support to me~ please know that I wish for a good outcome of the tests both you and Den will be having!...and I know you will keep us informed. You are never more than a thought away, and I will be thinking all positive thoughts for the two of you.

    Hugs,
    Chen♥

    Dear Friends,
    I have every

    Dear Friends,
    I have every confidence that this will be resolved. It's (as we all know only too well) the waiting. I want to just move forward at warp speed.
    Moopy and Aortus - you always make me feel special and strong. Love the super typer reference and I know why she wants a keyboard with a laptop. The keyboards on laptops have a different feel and I always hit the wrong keys on them so I bet that's why she uses a keyboard also. It's a feel thing and because I uses a regular keyboard most of the time then going to a laptop messed me up.
    Re - We will definitely get together when this is taken care of. I have always wanted to meet you.
    Chen - You are right about Den's first doctor. Not his fault, he was progressing in order and the EKG and treadmill would definitely been done. Our new doctor pretty much seemed to start where the other had stopped. Glad you steal quotes cause I love yours and steal them all the time. Good quotes should be shared. One of my other favorites (that I stole recently) is When you stumble make it part of the dance. I love the oversized plate. LOL
    You could never offend. Humor is my favorite way to deal. And occasionally sarcasism (but I try to work on that).
    And to everyone who responded or will respond, it is through the support of all of you that I am strong. I draw strength from those around me and I am drawing lots of strength right now. I know as I wrote this that it seems like I have been through alot but honestly I must be either a cock eyed optimist, a complete daft sod, or an incomplete (missing some parts) idiot (thanks Chen) but I have rarely felt overwhelmed or that it even is that much. My cancers were all caught so early and even this has been so while I will never feel lucky I am eternally grateful that my plate (large though it might seem) is easily cleaned. In fact now that I think about it, our lives are a bit like plates. They vary in size and what is on them. Most of us would like more sweets or at least the foods we love but sometimes we get brussel sprouts and getting rid of them is difficult (unless you are like my hubby and enjoy them). You try to move them around the plate but they are still there. Hide them in the napkin and someone seems to always find them. Feed them to the dog but he doesn't even want them. We just have to finish them up and hope no one sticks more on our plates before we get dessert. I hope all of us can clean our plates and have dessert. Thanks Chen for starting my little mind going off on another tangent. My thoughts and mind are a little like those guys that start one home improvement project and then half way through begin another but eventually get it all done. I am all done (for now anyway).
    Stef
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    Marcia527 said:

    Aw Stef, I send positive
    Aw Stef, I send positive thoughts and energy to you and Den. Sending big ((((hugs)))).

    Stef, you and Den are in my thoughts and prayers - lord knows
    you both can use some 'great or at least' good news - being October and all! Wow .. my friend .. you are carrying the weight of the world on yor shoulders. It is hard, difficult I must say when our sole mates who care for us in so many ways - suddenly gets caught up in a health care crisis.

    Prayers, positive thoughts and Love for you both.

    Vicki Sam
  • Jean 0609
    Jean 0609 Member Posts: 2,462
    Hi Stef,
    Just wanted to let you know that you and Den are in my prayers. Hang in there sister in pink. Hugs, Jean
  • mwallace1325
    mwallace1325 Member Posts: 806
    Hugs and Prayers
    Hugs and prayers are on their way to you. I think we can all appreciate the fear of watching a loved one having medical issues. I've always believed it's easier to be the patient than the patient's family. I just know medication is going to clear this all up for him and you'll both be able to relax a little.
    Let us know what the results show.

    marge
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294

    Hugs and Prayers
    Hugs and prayers are on their way to you. I think we can all appreciate the fear of watching a loved one having medical issues. I've always believed it's easier to be the patient than the patient's family. I just know medication is going to clear this all up for him and you'll both be able to relax a little.
    Let us know what the results show.

    marge

    Stef
    Sending positive thoughts to you and Den. Thinking of both:you and DEn.
    Hugs,
    New Flower
  • Marsha Mulvey
    Marsha Mulvey Member Posts: 597 Member

    Stef
    Sending positive thoughts to you and Den. Thinking of both:you and DEn.
    Hugs,
    New Flower

    Stef
    You and Den are in my thoughts and prayers! You indeed have a lot on your plate. I am happy to see that you are so positive. Hopefully whatever decision the doctors make, whichever procedure Den has for the blockage, it will be totally successful. Best wishes to you both.

    Marsha
  • Double Whammy
    Double Whammy Member Posts: 2,832 Member

    Stef
    You and Den are in my thoughts and prayers! You indeed have a lot on your plate. I am happy to see that you are so positive. Hopefully whatever decision the doctors make, whichever procedure Den has for the blockage, it will be totally successful. Best wishes to you both.

    Marsha

    What a week, indeed
    Wishing you and Den the best. It sounds like the docs are on top of his issues of tiredness/heart blockage issues. I know many who after the blockage has been fixed, regain their energy completely. Hoping this happens for Den - and soon.
    Suzanne
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member

    What a week, indeed
    Wishing you and Den the best. It sounds like the docs are on top of his issues of tiredness/heart blockage issues. I know many who after the blockage has been fixed, regain their energy completely. Hoping this happens for Den - and soon.
    Suzanne

    Again, thank you all for the
    Again, thank you all for the support. It really, really helps to have this board to talk with. And Suzanne that is exactly what I told Den. That when this is cleared up his energy will return and he will be able to do many of things that are now too difficult for him. And a problem discovered is a problem solved (hopefully).
    He has an appointment with the cardiologist for Friday. We will discuss the problem and potential solutions. So we are in good hands and headed in the right direction.
    And I have a whole army of friends standing right beside me. How great is that!!
    Stef
  • jk1952
    jk1952 Member Posts: 613
    fauxma said:

    Again, thank you all for the
    Again, thank you all for the support. It really, really helps to have this board to talk with. And Suzanne that is exactly what I told Den. That when this is cleared up his energy will return and he will be able to do many of things that are now too difficult for him. And a problem discovered is a problem solved (hopefully).
    He has an appointment with the cardiologist for Friday. We will discuss the problem and potential solutions. So we are in good hands and headed in the right direction.
    And I have a whole army of friends standing right beside me. How great is that!!
    Stef

    Stef, I'm so sorry to hear
    Stef, I'm so sorry to hear about Den. I have always felt that it is harder on me when something is wrong with my husband than if it's me. I'm hoping and praying that it's quickly resolved and he is back doing what he loves to do. Your recapping of your experiences in the past year (and how you've handled them) helps to put things in perspective.

    I hope that those brussel sprouts are gone soon, replaced by desserts! (I hate brussel sprouts, so the image that you shared was very vivid for me).

    Joyce
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    Aw, Stef.....
    Sounds a bit like us...

    My beau has an enlarged heart and atrial fib. Neuropathy in his feet so bad that he can hit his toe, be bleeding, and walk around the house (sigh...WHAT a MESS!) not feeling it.

    He was dx'ed with sleep apnea the year before my cancer dx. He now sleeps with a CPAP machine to keep his airway open. The doctor says there is a good chance that is what caused the heart trouble.

    He now has a full-on pacemaker, and is doing fairly well. We realize that our 'someday' is now, since he has his heart trouble, and me with both of my cancers found in the lymph system.

    I hope you both reach a point where you are feeling good....then, enjoy yourselves each day...building memories...

    Hugs, Kathi
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    KathiM said:

    Aw, Stef.....
    Sounds a bit like us...

    My beau has an enlarged heart and atrial fib. Neuropathy in his feet so bad that he can hit his toe, be bleeding, and walk around the house (sigh...WHAT a MESS!) not feeling it.

    He was dx'ed with sleep apnea the year before my cancer dx. He now sleeps with a CPAP machine to keep his airway open. The doctor says there is a good chance that is what caused the heart trouble.

    He now has a full-on pacemaker, and is doing fairly well. We realize that our 'someday' is now, since he has his heart trouble, and me with both of my cancers found in the lymph system.

    I hope you both reach a point where you are feeling good....then, enjoy yourselves each day...building memories...

    Hugs, Kathi

    Joyce - I am sure the
    Joyce - I am sure the brussel sprouts will soon be gone. When I was young I wasn't good at cleaning my plate but I learned through the years that the anticipation of cleaning it and the reality are different and that a glass of milk helps to wash them down. Does that make all my friends here my glass of milk? I think that it does.

    KathiM - Thanks fo the good thoughts. I had always felt a parallel in our having more than one cancer and I thought of you and Hans when Den started having these problems. We also try to make our somedays our todays. I think losing my dad when I was 15 from a massive heart attack in his sleep taught me not to take anything for granted. We are only promised today the rest is a gift. I always enjoy your sharing your adventures as a transcontinental home owner. I know that you have had to overcome much in your life and I admire your outlook and your ability to deal with life's little and big brussel sprouts. Bon apettite.

    Thanks again to all of you and I hold each of you dearly and in my prayers because, frankly, we all have a lot on our plates and it isn't always easy. But a glass of milk can be so helpful. This will certainly change the way I look at the Got Milk commericials. I will be picturing all my milk buddies.

    Stef