Talk about cruel...

jo jo
jo jo Member Posts: 1,175
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Tonight i was at my sisters and my dad showed up and we were all just talking and having a good time. My dad had commented to my sister a few times on how beautiful she was...it was no big deal to me and my sister at the time. Then he said it a few more times to her as if he was tryin to get a raise out of me...by now me and my sister are just looking at each other like why does he keep sayin that...or what is he driving at?
Well we found out just before i left cuz he had the ba@#s to tell me..."You could be beautiful too if youd just grow some hair and it was long again"....WHAT! I thought he was joking at first but then he actually repeated it. Now i know your suppose to respect your parents but my Irish temper kicked in at that point and I had to remind him this hairdo was not my choice and that i didnt appreciate him tryin to piss me off like that just for his amusement! I just thought that was so cruel of him to do but after i left and my temper calmed down i actually felt better that i didnt take that from him. Im so thankful my aunt raised us so that we are not like my parents...cuz that was just messed up!
Sorry i just had to vent about this!
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Comments

  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #2
    i am sorry
    I just do not understand people. How stupid and awful what was the goal?
    I wish we could meet when you were here.
    Hugs
  • roseyposey333
    roseyposey333 Member Posts: 68
    #3
    sometimes men are so stupid
    I am sorry you had to go through this jo jo but men are sometimes just stupid.
    I remember my dad telling me one time when I was a teenager that I wasn't pretty, he said compared to my other sister I had a certain look but not prettier than her.

    I stayed with me all these years later but I have forgiven him as I know it's just a stupid man thing. Sometimes they should just keep it shut, R
  • MomMichelle
    MomMichelle Member Posts: 93
    #4
    Jo Jo,
    So sorry that
    Jo Jo,
    So sorry that happened. Know that you are absolutely beautiful with or without hair. In you pictures you eyes and your smile are gorgeous. Even though you may have lost your hair, you didn't lose the beauty in you soul!
    Michelle
  • PAR5
    PAR5 Member Posts: 7
    #5
    MomMichelle said:

    Jo Jo,
    So sorry that
    Jo Jo,
    So sorry that happened. Know that you are absolutely beautiful with or without hair. In you pictures you eyes and your smile are gorgeous. Even though you may have lost your hair, you didn't lose the beauty in you soul!
    Michelle

    Beauty!
    Dear JoJo,
    I think that your beauty and strength are amazing! What ever happened to "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!
    ~Hugs to you~
    ~PAT~
  • Snowkitty
    Snowkitty Member Posts: 295
    #6
    I think sometimes older
    I think sometimes older folks think they have the liberty to say anything that comes to their head. It's good that you called him on it. Do it right away, calmly, kind of like the 3-second rule for a dog. Then ignore. Don't give him any attention, even eye contact, than that for negative actions, just for positive actions. It kinda worked for my 90+ year old father.

    Good luck!, Cindy
  • Jean 0609
    Jean 0609 Member Posts: 2,462
    #7
    Sorry jo jo,
    I can't believe it. First your mom and now your dad. We all know how beautiful you are, with or without hair. Unfortunately, some people just don't realize what they say is hurtful. Yes, you are lucky to have had your aunt raised you because you are a wonderful person. Hugs, Jean
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    #8
    Jojo, I agree with you, that
    Jojo, I agree with you, that was just messed up. Men sometimes say the dumbest things. You are a very strong person, that's evident in your ability to call him out on it. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and in my opinion you are a beauty, inside and out!!
  • Boppy_of_6
    Boppy_of_6 Member Posts: 1,138
    #9
    MyTurnNow said:

    Jojo, I agree with you, that
    Jojo, I agree with you, that was just messed up. Men sometimes say the dumbest things. You are a very strong person, that's evident in your ability to call him out on it. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and in my opinion you are a beauty, inside and out!!

    So sorry he said that to
    So sorry he said that to you. You are a very beautiful lady. I know we all want our hair back but it is not what makes a person truly beautiful. What is on the inside is more important. You my friend are beautiful inside and out. I think when anyone says something to just be mean it shows how insecure they are. God Bless
    (((Hugs))) Janice
  • survives
    survives Member Posts: 254 Member
    #10
    Boppy_of_6 said:

    So sorry he said that to
    So sorry he said that to you. You are a very beautiful lady. I know we all want our hair back but it is not what makes a person truly beautiful. What is on the inside is more important. You my friend are beautiful inside and out. I think when anyone says something to just be mean it shows how insecure they are. God Bless
    (((Hugs))) Janice

    Absolutely Unbelieveable!
    Of course, it does sound like something my father would have said. You're gorgeous....you don't need us telling you that. Hair is part of what defines us, but not ALL.

    I hope your father realizes down the road that what he said was just plain wrong. You may not get an outright apology, but he will come around.......hopefully.

    Hang tight, sistah!
    Jennifer
  • skipper85
    skipper85 Member Posts: 229
    #11
    What was he thinking?

    Some men are unbelievably rude and unkind sometimes. Example: My daughter's husband broke her arm and she decided to divorce him. My husband at first said she shouldn't divorce him because he stayed with her after she had the baby and was blown up like a balloon from fat and water. When my husband actually saw my daughter's broken arm he changed his tune - but I could not for the life of me understand what made him say that at first. I thought he'd want to kill the guy. I'm glad you let your dad have it. He deserved that and more. Good for you.

    You go girl!!

    Skipper
  • pinkflutterby
    pinkflutterby Member Posts: 615 Member
    #12
    I'm in shock so so sorry for
    I'm in shock so so sorry for you!!! :)
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    #13
    Jo Jo,
    You waited quite
    Jo Jo,
    You waited quite awhile before you responded to his unkind comments. Not sure that I would have. Next time you see him, tell him that he could be intelligent if he had a brain and kept his mouth shut. Okay, maybe that's getting down to his level but it felt good when I thought of it. You are a beautiful woman and it has nothing to do with long or short or no hair, eyes, smiles or anything physical. You are a beautiful woman because you are kind, caring and supportive of others. But you are quite beautiful physically as well.
    Stef
  • aysemari
    aysemari Member Posts: 1,596 Member
    #14
    That was uncalled for
    what a strange thing to do for your dad to play with your feelings like that. Good for you
    for letting him know how he made you feel. It's not your fault he's so blind that he can't
    see just how beautiful you are with your strength and courage.

    Hugs,
    Ayse
  • QuiltingMama123
    QuiltingMama123 Member Posts: 124
    #15
    I'm so sorry. I know I
    I'm so sorry. I know I shouldn't say anything about someone's parents, but your father was being a jerk. Is he senile and forgot what you are going through? That would be forgivable. Blaming it on him being a man just doesn't work for me. I know too many kind, wonderful men. I agree with our sisters. You are beautiful, in everyway, especially in all the ways that matters.
  • Bella Luna
    Bella Luna Member Posts: 1,578 Member
    #16
    Good 4 You
    JoJo... good for you for standing up for yourself. I have gotten comments that really have really blown me out of the water too. It's amazing some of the things people can say without thinking it through first.

    You did your Aunt proud!
    BL
  • smalldoggroomer
    smalldoggroomer Member Posts: 1,184
    #17
    JoJo I'm so sorry
    I'm so sorry your dad is a a$$ plain and simple. You are a beautiful young lady inside and out and any one that can't see that is is blind. Take care darlin Kay,
  • mwallace1325
    mwallace1325 Member Posts: 806
    #18
    I'm sorry
    I realize that's your dad and that should count for something, but that was a truly awful thing to do. You're beautiful with or without long hair (or any hair) because you're beautiful from the inside, something some people apparently don't get.
    We're here anytime you need to vent and hopefully that won't be again any time soon.

    marge
  • cindycflynn
    cindycflynn Member Posts: 1,132 Member
    #19
    Wow, just Wow
    I'm just astounded when I hear about the insensitive remarks some of you have had to deal with, but from your own father?!?!?!?!?!? That just takes the cake...

    I'm glad you got your "Irish" up. He needed to be told how hurtful his comments were to you.

    And, as others have said, you definitely ARE beautiful - inside and out. Anyone that cannot see that is blind.

    (((HUGS)))
    Cindy
  • Giant Poodles
    Giant Poodles Member Posts: 79
    #20
    mwallace1325 said:

    I'm sorry
    I realize that's your dad and that should count for something, but that was a truly awful thing to do. You're beautiful with or without long hair (or any hair) because you're beautiful from the inside, something some people apparently don't get.
    We're here anytime you need to vent and hopefully that won't be again any time soon.

    marge

    Sorry, JoJo
    Sorry JoJo,
    I don't know why someone would say such a thing. Some people don't think before they speak. You were a beautiful woman before breast cancer and you are a beautiful woman now. Your beauty comes from within yourself. Stay strong and be like water on a duck and let it roll off.
    Rhonda
  • GayleMc
    GayleMc Member Posts: 311 Member
    #21
    cindycflynn said:

    Wow, just Wow
    I'm just astounded when I hear about the insensitive remarks some of you have had to deal with, but from your own father?!?!?!?!?!? That just takes the cake...

    I'm glad you got your "Irish" up. He needed to be told how hurtful his comments were to you.

    And, as others have said, you definitely ARE beautiful - inside and out. Anyone that cannot see that is blind.

    (((HUGS)))
    Cindy

    JoJo, I'm so sorry you were
    JoJo, I'm so sorry you were hurt like this. It speaks volumes that you didn't know what he was " getting At". You would never do anything like that to someone, family or not. You are strong and very, very, beautiful inside and out.

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