Sep 25, 2010 - 7:37 pm
had surgery for lung cancer in feb 2008, all seemed ok, then it hit me. when first diagnosed it all happened so fast i never had time to really react until it was over, then about 4 months of being home and trying to get back to life everything started to change. i was depressed, constantly in fear of it coming back, crying jags for no reason, i was an emotional and physical wreck. my primary found thyroid was very low and put me on synthroid,my head doc, said i was doing well considering all the trauma,and said i probably had ptsd, which i thought only veterans had. i was afraid to make any plans for the future, and could not watch horror movies anymore,(my husband does not understand how bad it is)and still watches them. it has been almost 3 yrs now and i still rarely have enough energy to function normally, now my doc is alarmed at my weight loss and pain and has ordered more test. my normal weight at 5ft2in was between 100 and 105 before 1st cancer,i am down to 91 now and still losing. i do not think i can handle it again if the cancer has returned, before i was extremely active, loved working outside and staying busy, can not do so many things i used to do now, i don't feel life would be worth living if i lost anymore of my life, i have tried talking out my feelings with my husband, and he is a good man but cannot seem to handle even talking about (fear i guess) but i feel absolutely alone with this, can anyone give me some hope?