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A day in the Life

ktlcs's picture
ktlcs
Posts: 360
Joined: Jan 2010

OK so I decided this has to stop and I needed to start making more of an effort. Now I have been doing things, last week I went to the US Open finals, so it's not like I am hiding in the house, but everything I've done to date is at someone else's prodding.

So, Saturday, summer's over, first Sat with no pool, cleaning lady in on Fri, nothing to do in the house. Got up, dressed and even put on makeup! Went out for a pedicure (always a treat), than some shopping, didn't even glance at prices, if I liked it and it fit I got it. Took the new car to the car wash and got home just in time to change and meet my girlfriends for dinner. Sat outside at a real cute waterside place with good food, even had a drink! We acted silly, went into an old time candy store with those fun house mirros etc. Kind of day I would have enjoyed in the past.

Couldn't wait until it was over

Now it's Sunday....

Kathy

Beckymarie
Posts: 358
Joined: Aug 2009

Very hard isn't it? I never had to wake up and figure out how I was going to fill my day. We always had something to do, the two of us. But life is different now and we have to get on with the business of living. So you deserve a pat on the back...you took a huge first step and it's a start. I have to say the busier I am the the faster the day passes. I've been told it will get easier. Hope that's true. In the meantime we just have to keep moving forward...not a whole lot of other options.
Becky

faithlee
Posts: 9
Joined: Sep 2010

I find it is easy to fill up the days, but the nights and the mornings are when reality sinks in and the grief sets in. It has been almost four months but those days have gone by slowly. On one hand it seems like yesterday but on the other hand time is creeping by. I know it takes time for the grieving process, so when time moves so slowly I start to think that this grief will never end.

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1612
Joined: Aug 2009

I hear and understand what you are all talking about. It will be 11 months tomorrow since I lost my husband. Every day is hard but time does make most days easier. Some days it hurts more than others. I put together a lay service for our congregation today including three of us doing the sermon. I missed seeing Doug's face out there. He was really proud of me when I did things like that. I really missed him. One of our members who has been a widow for 40 years talked to me afterwards. She told me that it took her two years to really get back on her feet. She just seemed to know that I needed some encouragement. So hang in there everybody. We are still a work in progress. Fay

david54
Posts: 114
Joined: Apr 2009

Sounds like you had a weekend that was overdue for laughter, good times and healing.

Weekends can be difficult for me. Weekdays (M-F) are spent working and it occupies my mind.

I had lunch with a woman friend and she brought up the subject of sex. Huh? (She is unhappily married.) I did my best to redirect the conversation as I choked on my scallions. (Yes, I know going out to lunch wasn’t a good idea, but it beats feeling lonely). And no, I did not reciprocate.

I went back to church today for the first time in weeks. (Yes, the event with the woman friend motivated me). I went to a Sunday school class and I felt so strange. They prayed for me which was nice, but I felt like a statistic. I was sitting next to a woman playing a violin with a pianist, old fashioned hymns. I felt like I was in a SNF waiting to play bingo. – it was just a weird feeling. Is this what I can expect? Geez, sign me up for the Peace Corps!

Yesterday I ran in a 10 mile race. I felt old and my ankles were talking to me. (I’m fifty six years old).

Okay-enough of feeling sorry for myself. Good things that happened to me this weekend is that I got to talk to my daughter, visit a close friend from college, and I do have a church that cares for me. And I have this support network with all of you and your honesty, and courage is a gift and helps me more than anything else (Next to a chocolate malt) for my grieving.

There is always something to be grateful for (I am reminding myself of this, I’m not preaching)

Noellesmom
Posts: 1279
Joined: Aug 2010

Every time I see the title to this site "Grief and Bereavement" my mind wants to read it as "Grief and Bewilderment"...

Yes, I know. I need a nap.

lilli1020
Posts: 114
Joined: Jul 2010

Grief and bewilderment is really a better way to express it!!

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