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Do you look in the mirror

pascotty's picture
pascotty
Posts: 164
Joined: Aug 2010

Hi all. Thanks for the responses to the survey. It is very interesting. I am wondering if any of you ever look in the mirror and say with an element of disbelief. You've had CHEMO and RADIATION. I certainly do. Its almost like it happened to someone else except you have the side effects xxx

RushFan's picture
RushFan
Posts: 218
Joined: Aug 2010

Not so much in the mirror, but it crosses my mind quite a bit.

A good week to all here!
Chuck.

SASH's picture
SASH
Posts: 279
Joined: Apr 2006

Only when shaving and brushing my hair, sometimes when brushing my teeth.

The first time I was trying to shave myself I was given a 20x magnifying mirror to hold under my chin so I could use that along with the wall mirror so I could see what I was doing. That was the first time I saw my scar and it wasn't pretty. Now I can look all I want.

johnlax38's picture
johnlax38
Posts: 136
Joined: Aug 2010

When I look in the mirror I see somebody else, my image completely changed from what it was. I am still getting use to having a smaller thinner face, no hair and no beard. I have a hard time with it still. But I see a survivor and I will get back to my good o'l looks.

Skiffin16's picture
Skiffin16
Posts: 8088
Joined: Sep 2009

Ya John, but just think of all of that character that you have now....truely a pirate's look....

You'll be back to the old you and new normal you before you know it.....

John

Dragons7-7-2010's picture
Dragons7-7-2010
Posts: 79
Joined: Aug 2010

when I look in the mirror I see someone else too. so I posted a photo of myself on my mirror from a couple years ago that I liked my hair style, face etc. Maybe post treatment I will get that hairstyle again.

Focusing on the positive for me is I had a few extra pounds to lose before this diagnosis so it I lose it gradually it won't be that bad right.?

So I look in the mirror and think my face looks weird, who is that person, those aren't my eyes are they? but this shorter hairstyle is easy, no hairdryer, no products. shower, shampoo good to go. now once the hair falls out that will be a new thing... but hey always wondered what it would be like to be a red head nows the time to find out. Or want to wear a pirate hat, cowboy hat what the heck go for it.

As the saying goes if you get lemons make lemon aid and if you can't drink lemonaid. make popsicles.

GOAL FOR THE DAY STAY POSITIVE AND CALM, LIVE THROUGH THE PAIN. THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

JUDYV5's picture
JUDYV5
Posts: 392
Joined: Jun 2010

The last 6 months seems surreal. Yet, every day is a blesing.

delnative's picture
delnative
Posts: 452
Joined: Aug 2009

I look at my now-beardless cheeks and the divot that came out of my neck when I had the modified radical neck dissection and I tell myself that I don't look too bad for an old dude who's been through the mill. Hell, I look at this (and my PEG-related "second belly button") as a badge of honor.
I'm proud of what I went through and the fact that I survived. I bet y'all are, too.

--Jim in Delaware

fisrpotpe's picture
fisrpotpe
Posts: 1338
Joined: Aug 2010

Every day, I look and say I am blessed, I need to continue my walk with Our Lord and Savior and keep having fun!

He has made us and detailed us out in his eye's.

John

Irishgypsie's picture
Irishgypsie
Posts: 331
Joined: May 2010

Everyday I look in the mirror and try to wonder what I have become. My friends say that I am the same old, giving, lovable Charles. But I can't help but feel half the shell of my former self. My heart has been broken, my world shattered and now I am trying to pic up the pieces of my former self. Not sure if I will be able to be in a relationship again. Not sure if I will ever have a family to call my own now. Not sure of anything, anymore. Do i still plan for retirement? Do I still save for the dream house on the lake? Yes, i am thankful for technology and that I have a fighting chance. I'm just not sure of anything anymore. I guess it is too soon to tell who the new me is!!!!!

Skiffin16's picture
Skiffin16
Posts: 8088
Joined: Sep 2009

Charles, you need to find yourself a good companion to share all of your thoughts, fears, joys and life with.

I'm sure in time you will heal and feel whole again...at this moment in time, not only is your body healing, your mind is healing also.

Keep the faith bud, it'll get netter.
John Boy.....

CajunEagle's picture
CajunEagle
Posts: 361
Joined: Oct 2009

Send him that fish, Skiff. LOL

Charles.....seriously. You're gonna do great with the wealthy blonde wife and the 6k sq. ft. house on the lake. In 14 months you're gonna look back and ask, "What was that all about" ?

charles55's picture
charles55
Posts: 87
Joined: Aug 2010

In the first few days after I was diagnosed, at a time when I didn't know if I had 6 months or 30 years to live, I went to see a nutritionist. One of the first things he said to me was,

"How are you going to be the better for having this cancer?"

Not how was I going to deal with it, or what was my care plan? What a challenge! With my frame of mind at that moment, that floored me and started me down the path to understand that God did not intend for this cancer to end in my demise. When I look in the mirror every day, I am still haunted by that question. Until I am some how better for this walk, I am not done.

D Lewis's picture
D Lewis
Posts: 1533
Joined: Jan 2010

I look in the mirror at the short wispy hair growing back in and try to spike it with hair gell and I look like a wet cat and I laugh.

Whem I'm at work, I run my hands through my hair without thinking. I look in the mirror again and the hair is standing up in one big curl just like Kewpie and I laugh.

Last night, my daughter ran her hands through my hair and made it all stand up wildly like the character "Kramer" from Seinfeld. Then I practiced the crazy "Kramer run" back and forth in front of the mirror while rolling my eyes and waving my arms and we both laughed.

I'm not having any trouble believing that I've had Chemo and Radiation. What I am having trouble believing is that I can be my old self again afterwards, but I'm working on it.

My poor shell-shocked daughter finally cut loose and threw a massive temper tantrum at me tonight, with yelling and screaming and hurling furniture. I yelled and screamed right back, and tossed a small ice chest after her as she fled down the hallway. Then we both laughed and hugged and cheered because it felt so good to feel good enough to yell and scream and throw things.

Deb

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