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Just want to cry

forme's picture
forme
Posts: 1158
Joined: Aug 2010

Hi,
This is such a hard weekend for me. I have had ca two times with mets. Now I am waitng again to find out if it has returned. Also if I have a new different ca. I am so tired and have so many symptoms. I start to feel like my mind is going crazy. I have a very supportive spouse but the waiting for test results and treatments is really getting me down. It is hard to wait and be peaceful. Anyone else feel like this?

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1611
Joined: Aug 2009

Everyone here, patient or caregiver, has some idea of how you feel. The waiting is the worst. I see your subject line is just want to cry. Hey, crying is good, so is screaming, hitting a pillow, or whatever helps you cope with the stress. I wish I'd had those words of wisdom that would help, but I don't. I can wish you the best and assure that you are not alone in your feelings. Take care, Fay

zinniemay's picture
zinniemay
Posts: 534
Joined: Mar 2009

Waiting is the hardest part, everyone can tell you what they do to pass the time. Each person finds what they can and does it. My husband works in his garden, I clean and then I clean again. It is how we cope with the uncopible.
While crying is good for you so is laughing I know it is hard to do. There is times when someone will say something like that to me and it will tick me off. Then I remember I am only human. Waiting is hard on anyone and their family. You are not going crazy We are all have these feeling.

fayed
Posts: 2
Joined: Aug 2010

hi there last week i was due for serg and it was cancelled cause my blood pressure went 268/124
the hospital told me right there that i have a tumor behind my kidneys and it need to be looked after asap
i here all weeken and crying like crazy tonight at 3:00 am my time i started getting worse alot of pain and they have me on morphin it is not helping and now someone told me to take essiac i dont know where to turn noone to talk to my husband to be is at sea i feeling depressed and lonely and feel like i am dieing

Betsy13
Posts: 186
Joined: May 2010

Ladies,

The waiting game is the hardest. Will it be good news or bad? What will I do? Crying cleanses the soul. I have spent days crying after my treatment. Severely depressed and I am on anti-depressants. The depression is starting to get better. Feel what you feel. Don't let anyone tell you it's wrong. You need to have your feelings validated because no one knows what is going on inside of you.

I wish you courage, love, and peace deep within your soul.

Sending prayers and hugs your way...
Betsy

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1611
Joined: Aug 2009

Everything looks really bad to me at 3 in the morning. I think I would be the squeakiest wheel my dr has ever heard. Insist on answers and help. Pain will cause your blood pressure to go up. Does the hospital have a pain team? Can your husband to be get leave? Are there family members who can be your advocate? Tell your doctor that you need help controlling your emotions as well as your disease. Sometimes they get so involved with the disease that they forget the person. I don't know what your faith is but I will keep you in my prayers . Even if you don't think that will help, it can't hurt. Hang in there. You are a valuable person. Take care, Fay

Noellesmom
Posts: 1277
Joined: Aug 2010

When do you expect to have the results for your tests?

sea60's picture
sea60
Posts: 2601
Joined: May 2010

I understand what you're going through as most everyone here does. The waiting is nerve wracking to say the least.

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this a second time. I am praying you get back a good report.

The only thing that gives me peace are scripture verses. Anytime I have to wait for results or go to the doctor yet again, I just meditate on God's word. It's always helps me.

Betsy13
Posts: 186
Joined: May 2010

Thinking about you and praying for you. How are you? Do you have results yet? Please update us.

Hugs,
Betsy

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