Aug 19, 2010 - 1:45 pm
I'm new to this site. I wish I had found this site about 6 months ago. My grandma was 84 and had tounge cancer. She had a portion of her toungue removed, as well as some lymph nodes. The Doctors recommended that she get radiation therapy. I slowly but surely ended up becoming her caregiver because I was the closest to her and had the most flexible schedule. I know being a caregiver is extremely stressful, and a lotI felt trapped and alone. The one thing that kept me going was my love for my Grandma. It was well worth it on the good days. I spent about 8 hours a day with her, bringing her to radiation treatments, docs appointments, and just making sure she was ok. The thing is, she does not speak any English, so I was also her translator. She ended up becoming too sick to stay at home anymore, so she spent most of her time either at Mass General Hospital in Boston MA, or at Spaulding Rehab Hospital. At one point her insurance refused to pay for her to stay at Spaulding, they were pressuring us to find another place. I picked Wingate in Brighton, and they were absolutely terrible. We were there for less than a week, and we had 3 or 4 problems from medication issues, to them letting the wheelchair van leave without me. What a nightmare... My trust was completely shattered and I ended up leaving my job temporarily to be with her. From there, she was sent back to Mass General and the level of care was absolutely amazing. I will never forget the kindness of the Nurses, doctors and social workers there.
After a long hard fight with cancer, She unfortunately passed away two weeks ago. I'm really not sure what I'm feeling. At times I feel empty, sometimes relieved that she's not suffering anymore. Sometimes It doesn't even feel like she's gone, almost like it's one of the days I had to work and couldn't see her. Other times I don't feel anything. I'm not sure what to think, has anyone ever felt like this?