Bad Hair Day - warning big vent!!

Heatherbelle
Heatherbelle Member Posts: 1,226 Member
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Or should I say bad day in general? My house is a mess, my husband is never home (which i know he has to work because i don't, but it's getting to the point where work is becoming his escape, I feel). We're getting behind in bills and i KNOW that's stressing him out too. Our central air unit has been acting up all summer, and the other day it quit working completely - luckily it hasn't been too extremely hot & humid since it's been broken but it's supposed to heat up over the weekend. I took my daughters to the library this afternoon for about an hour, and ran a few errands and that literally wiped me out for the whole rest of the day. I've had a sore throat (chemo side effect?) off & on for 2 weeks, I get hot, then I get cold, my skin feels all icky & I'm achy all over in general. A good night's sleep for me is 4 or 5 hours without waking up to pee, or being woke by the baby. My face is starting to break out - and not little break outs, but big painful red pimples that are so big they practically have a shadow....AND, tonight my hair is starting to come out in small clumps. Boy, when it rains, it pours.
I think I needed to get that vent out. I think my husband's patience is wearing thin, and with my next chemo this friday, I won't be doing much of anything around here for 3 or 4 days, which is just more household responsibilities on him. My best friend is coming over Thursday to help me clean :)
But after Friday, it'll be 2 down, 4 to go. And a week from tomorrow I get my next expander fill. So I'm still chugging along, today was just one of those days.
thanks for listening :)
*hugs*
Heather
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Comments

  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    awwwwwww, Heather. Here's a
    awwwwwww, Heather. Here's a hug to you. It's no fun when it pours-that's for sure. xoxoxoxo Lynn
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    BOO HISS ON BAD DAYS!
    Awww Heather, I am sorry for the need to vent, but you are right after Friday you will have two under your belt and only 4 remaining you will get there gal! I know its stressful, we always had pre chemo days two days prior to chemo where we super cleaned the house so it would not get out of control. On my good days I would make meat loaf or lasagna to freeze for chemo days which always made life easier. This to shall pass and next year at this time it will be a memory and you will have a bit more spring back in your stride.

    HUGS~HUGS~HUGS!!!

    *´¨)
    ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
    (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ RE
  • teresa41
    teresa41 Member Posts: 471
    RE said:

    BOO HISS ON BAD DAYS!
    Awww Heather, I am sorry for the need to vent, but you are right after Friday you will have two under your belt and only 4 remaining you will get there gal! I know its stressful, we always had pre chemo days two days prior to chemo where we super cleaned the house so it would not get out of control. On my good days I would make meat loaf or lasagna to freeze for chemo days which always made life easier. This to shall pass and next year at this time it will be a memory and you will have a bit more spring back in your stride.

    HUGS~HUGS~HUGS!!!

    *´¨)
    ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
    (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ RE

    wishing you better days
    im sorry you are having such a hard time sometimes the venting is needed .
    hang in there and i am wishing you the best!


    teresa
  • Heatherbelle
    Heatherbelle Member Posts: 1,226 Member
    thanks!!
    thank you :) woke up feeling much better today. Sorry about the boo-hoo'ing, guess I needed to get some of that negative energy out!
    Hope you all have a wonderful day!
    *big hugs*
    Heather
  • Jean 0609
    Jean 0609 Member Posts: 2,462

    thanks!!
    thank you :) woke up feeling much better today. Sorry about the boo-hoo'ing, guess I needed to get some of that negative energy out!
    Hope you all have a wonderful day!
    *big hugs*
    Heather

    Hey Girlfriend!
    Yes, it always helps to get it out. Cry, yell, scream, throw something, hit something vent to your CSN sisters....any or all of the above. It always works for me. Have you looked into Cleaning for a Reason? Hopefully, they have this in your area. They offer cleaning services to chemo patients. It's worth a try. Glad you are feeling better this morning. I think we all have those days. Hugs, Jean
  • missrenee
    missrenee Member Posts: 2,136 Member
    Jean 0609 said:

    Hey Girlfriend!
    Yes, it always helps to get it out. Cry, yell, scream, throw something, hit something vent to your CSN sisters....any or all of the above. It always works for me. Have you looked into Cleaning for a Reason? Hopefully, they have this in your area. They offer cleaning services to chemo patients. It's worth a try. Glad you are feeling better this morning. I think we all have those days. Hugs, Jean

    Hey Heather--glad today's a better day!
    Going through treatment is bad enough, but when all the other stuff happens, it's really tough. I'm amazed by you girls doing it with small children. God bless you all and may He send you extra, extra energy, patience, and love.

    Hugs, Renee
  • dabicknell
    dabicknell Member Posts: 11
    vent
    sorry, I know how you feel, sometimes it's just too much, harder on you with little kids. I had a hard time with the hair, now I walk around bald. About husband's, I know, I had my issues. Try to take care of yourself.
  • Snowkitty
    Snowkitty Member Posts: 295
    I had a big rant going too.
    I had a big rant going too. Unfortunately, or fortunately, it didn't post for some reason.

    It was so ranty, I forgot most of it, but I do remember saying that husbands (sorry to the fine gentlemen on here...you are the exception) have the attention span of an apple. Men are fixers, they can't fix this crap, so they kinda put it in the background.

    rant rant ranty rant rant, and whatever else I said in the disappearing post.

    Cindy
  • aysemari
    aysemari Member Posts: 1,596 Member
    And we keep dancing.....
    Heatherbelle,

    so glad you're doing better today. I love that saying
    don't wait for the storm to pass, learn to dance in the rain!!!


    Keep dancing Heatherbelle, keeep oooon dancing!

    Ayse
  • MomMichelle
    MomMichelle Member Posts: 93
    Sorry to hear you had a bad
    Sorry to hear you had a bad one. Hopefully better ones will be here soon. I understand what you mean about your husband. I had been sick with a 101 degree fever from Saturday night till yesterday morning and I could see by then that his patience with the kids was wearing. He also has been doing lots at work because I am not at work now and certainly not planning on doing over time through this. Hopefully when we are all through with treatments, life can get back to normal. I hope my husband doesn't hate me till then! I am pretty sure he won't be finding me super sexy! :)
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member

    Sorry to hear you had a bad
    Sorry to hear you had a bad one. Hopefully better ones will be here soon. I understand what you mean about your husband. I had been sick with a 101 degree fever from Saturday night till yesterday morning and I could see by then that his patience with the kids was wearing. He also has been doing lots at work because I am not at work now and certainly not planning on doing over time through this. Hopefully when we are all through with treatments, life can get back to normal. I hope my husband doesn't hate me till then! I am pretty sure he won't be finding me super sexy! :)

    I am so very sorry that you are stressing, and feeling less
    than beautiful .. shxt happens, unfortunetly it seems to all happen while we are undergoing chemo, rad's or just recoverying from surgery. Because we are WOMEN, & not men (sorry to all you gent's that are multi taskers) .. our family, children and husbands feel we can do all, and handle all. Or maybe it's because we have always done it all, and never complained - I am greatful just reading that your girlfriend is coming by to help you clean .. have your tried the link that helps chemo gals with house keeping .. I did try but no services available in my area of Southern California.

    Early on in chemo, I received dinners, hand make blankets etc from friends and family, as my treatments wore on, people I have known and loved for years went by the wayside tending to their families and jobs.. Chemo is lonely, hence why many of us get depressed -- no engery to clean our homes, afraid to shop due to our WBC, and too tired to carry on an adult conversation after 4:00 p.m.

    On my good days - far and few ..as I endured, yes endured 18 weeks of straight chemo .. no breaks, no rest ... every Tuesday at 9:00 a.m. for just about 6 months ... I would cook easy things .. like spaghetti in large pots ..put into freeze in zip lock bags, easier to stack, homemade soups - same freezer technique ..chicken saliza etc .. then again, I had a house keeper come in once a week for 5 hours to clean for me .. This was my 2009's Christmas gift from my husband ... hummmmm she still comes every Friday, it is my goal to try and clean my home (3,500 sq feet - 4 bathrooms) by myself by December, just a goal of mine. I am not crazy, it may sound that way to many of you Warrior's .. you see I still go to a PT 3 times a weeks due to my chronic fatigue ..brought on by my 6 months of continuious chemo therapy.

    Ok .. new Heatherbelle when a neighbor, friend or family member offers to help .. I know it's hard ... say, YES, we or I would like a casserole, or some help cleaning my house. Just my humble suggestion... I am the giver in all relationships, always helping others beyond my sense of sisterhood .. boy, was I SHOCKED when this was not Play Forward during my chemo .. still in shock!


    Strength and Courage for you, my sister WARRIOR ..


    Vicki Sam --
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    VickiSam said:

    I am so very sorry that you are stressing, and feeling less
    than beautiful .. shxt happens, unfortunetly it seems to all happen while we are undergoing chemo, rad's or just recoverying from surgery. Because we are WOMEN, & not men (sorry to all you gent's that are multi taskers) .. our family, children and husbands feel we can do all, and handle all. Or maybe it's because we have always done it all, and never complained - I am greatful just reading that your girlfriend is coming by to help you clean .. have your tried the link that helps chemo gals with house keeping .. I did try but no services available in my area of Southern California.

    Early on in chemo, I received dinners, hand make blankets etc from friends and family, as my treatments wore on, people I have known and loved for years went by the wayside tending to their families and jobs.. Chemo is lonely, hence why many of us get depressed -- no engery to clean our homes, afraid to shop due to our WBC, and too tired to carry on an adult conversation after 4:00 p.m.

    On my good days - far and few ..as I endured, yes endured 18 weeks of straight chemo .. no breaks, no rest ... every Tuesday at 9:00 a.m. for just about 6 months ... I would cook easy things .. like spaghetti in large pots ..put into freeze in zip lock bags, easier to stack, homemade soups - same freezer technique ..chicken saliza etc .. then again, I had a house keeper come in once a week for 5 hours to clean for me .. This was my 2009's Christmas gift from my husband ... hummmmm she still comes every Friday, it is my goal to try and clean my home (3,500 sq feet - 4 bathrooms) by myself by December, just a goal of mine. I am not crazy, it may sound that way to many of you Warrior's .. you see I still go to a PT 3 times a weeks due to my chronic fatigue ..brought on by my 6 months of continuious chemo therapy.

    Ok .. new Heatherbelle when a neighbor, friend or family member offers to help .. I know it's hard ... say, YES, we or I would like a casserole, or some help cleaning my house. Just my humble suggestion... I am the giver in all relationships, always helping others beyond my sense of sisterhood .. boy, was I SHOCKED when this was not Play Forward during my chemo .. still in shock!


    Strength and Courage for you, my sister WARRIOR ..


    Vicki Sam --

    wishing you better days, you
    wishing you better days, you will do well I am sure. guys escape into work, its their MO. But it really is hard for them to see us sick, and the never ending demands of a family are overwhelming. especially with young kids, and tight finances. keep the lines of communication open, so when things are finished there is no resentment.
    I did learn quickly to accept help even though I hate to ask. I had no choice. Vickie I am sorry. people are just strange. We never get through this perfectly but we do get through.
    keep ticking off those chemo's, pretty soon you will be done. I thought I was going to be in pergatory FOREVER, it ended, and so will yours. hugs.
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member

    thanks!!
    thank you :) woke up feeling much better today. Sorry about the boo-hoo'ing, guess I needed to get some of that negative energy out!
    Hope you all have a wonderful day!
    *big hugs*
    Heather

    Feeling better.......good!
    Heather, NEVER EVER apologize for your feelings......You're allowed....totally justified...........Wish there were something I could do for you.......Hang in there sweetie!

    Peace be with you
    Nancy
  • smalldoggroomer
    smalldoggroomer Member Posts: 1,184
    Glad you are feeling better,
    Glad you are feeling better, Vent all you want to it is good to get it out. We are here for ya Kid anytime Take care Kay,
  • Heatherbelle
    Heatherbelle Member Posts: 1,226 Member
    aww i love you all :)

    aww i love you all :)
  • cahjah75
    cahjah75 Member Posts: 2,631
    Oh Heather
    I think about you often with all you have to contend with. Remember this is where we all can go to vent because we all understand.

    My daughter is 34 and both she & her dh are in grad school and have 2 & 4 yo girls whom DH & I babysit often. She's not stopping by too frequently since I now have a "lowered immune system". Hmmmm, I miss seeing the girls.....

    Four years ago I started falling down, breaking both shoulders before I found out I had collapsed discs in my neck that were pressing my spinal cord. 11 surgeries later I had to quit working and go on SSD. I could not drive for 18 months. My DH who works 6-7 days a week had to start doing the housework and the cooking. Yikes, the poor man. I had to sit around feeling guilty because I couldn't do anything. I finally hired a cleaning woman for a year and when I felt I could handle most of the cleaning I let her go. DH does the showers & the vacuuming. He's a saint but you're right - work is their escape to normalcy! I'm hoping to feel good enough the weekend before my next chemo to get the house cleaned.

    So you vent all you want and remember that right now you have to think about what's best for you and the rest will fall into place. Hug your girls and do what you can when you can. Dust doesn't go away - it will still be there. I used to worry about the bills but that eventually straigtens out too. I couldn't live with my ac though. Hang in there.
    {{hugs}} Char
  • Lighthouse_7
    Lighthouse_7 Member Posts: 1,566 Member

    aww i love you all :)

    aww i love you all :)

    Heather, Glad you're feeling
    Heather, Glad you're feeling better. Rant, scream, complain and get it off your chest! We're all here for you.
    BIG HUGS,
    Wanda
  • sea60
    sea60 Member Posts: 2,613
    cahjah75 said:

    Oh Heather
    I think about you often with all you have to contend with. Remember this is where we all can go to vent because we all understand.

    My daughter is 34 and both she & her dh are in grad school and have 2 & 4 yo girls whom DH & I babysit often. She's not stopping by too frequently since I now have a "lowered immune system". Hmmmm, I miss seeing the girls.....

    Four years ago I started falling down, breaking both shoulders before I found out I had collapsed discs in my neck that were pressing my spinal cord. 11 surgeries later I had to quit working and go on SSD. I could not drive for 18 months. My DH who works 6-7 days a week had to start doing the housework and the cooking. Yikes, the poor man. I had to sit around feeling guilty because I couldn't do anything. I finally hired a cleaning woman for a year and when I felt I could handle most of the cleaning I let her go. DH does the showers & the vacuuming. He's a saint but you're right - work is their escape to normalcy! I'm hoping to feel good enough the weekend before my next chemo to get the house cleaned.

    So you vent all you want and remember that right now you have to think about what's best for you and the rest will fall into place. Hug your girls and do what you can when you can. Dust doesn't go away - it will still be there. I used to worry about the bills but that eventually straigtens out too. I couldn't live with my ac though. Hang in there.
    {{hugs}} Char

    Yucky during Chemo
    I hear you, it's hard to FEEL good, emotionally and physically during treatments...I'm so glad there's this place to just let it ALL out.

    You're being sent many hugs! I'm glad you had a better day.

    I was laughing (cuz I can laugh now) about my bad "wig" days. Working in a large corporate company, it was just better for me to wear wigs to avoid all the stares. Now you'd think of all things, wigs would always look good since you can style them and brush them in your hand but I don't know what it was, the minute I'd put it on my head...it just grew a mind of its own. There were even a few times I'd grab it from my head and throw it on the floor in frustration. It felt really good to do that. Then of course, I'd pick it up and re-style it and put it back on.

    Char is right, some housework will just have to wait a bit longer to get done and that's alright. Don't put un-needed stress on yourself.

    Sending you another hug,

    Sylvia
  • Emilyfimily
    Emilyfimily Member Posts: 141
    Hey, sometimes you just
    Hey, sometimes you just gotta vent and let it out. Certainly not healthy to leave it inside!! And that's why we're all here - to help each other out on good *and* bad days, including big vent days. And, hey, the worst day is when the hair starts coming out. You just can't prepare for that, it's a tough day. Glad you woke up the next morning feeling a little better, Heatherbelle! I hope your next chemo isn't too bad and you get stress free rest. ((Big hugs for you)) Thinkin' about you, girl,
    Emily
  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member

    thanks!!
    thank you :) woke up feeling much better today. Sorry about the boo-hoo'ing, guess I needed to get some of that negative energy out!
    Hope you all have a wonderful day!
    *big hugs*
    Heather

    Yes, be GONE negativism! I
    Yes, be GONE negativism! I am glad that you woke up feeling better. You have been through so much Heather that you wouldn't be normal if you didn't feel down every now and then. We all do. Just don't stay down there too long.


    Sue :)