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My husband passed away

nubis's picture
nubis
Posts: 99
Joined: Mar 2008

My husband passed away July 31. It was so fast. He never lost hope.............I missed him every second............. But he is not suffering anymore. Our oncologist told us there is not reason to continue chemo. It is not working and 2 weeks later. He passed away. I thought we had more time to enjoy. I took days off in my job to enjoy and make our list of things we wanted to do together. Before we were very busy with doctors appointments. Of course we did things together but when doctor told us. No more chemo , just enjoy...... Then I stopped working. But I saw how Rafael started getting very weak, not able to walk, not able to eat by himself, not able to take his medicines so I called my mom that is in Mexico and told her just come right away I think the end is coming. The day my mom arrived. That day he passed away. I think he was waiting for my mom. I'm alone here in U.SA. all my family is in Mexico. I came here for the american dream.......... cancer...... now a widow.......... all my plans with my husband are gone...... I'm 30 years old..... he was 34........ I think this is not fair..... for nobody......... what is happening with this world???............ why you hear and hear more cases of cancer......... what is happening???........ I don't know what I'm going to do, but his death is not going to be in the past..... I'm going to make my voice notice so cancer can be a disease of the past .

For all of you..... thank you for all your support in these 3 years...... and keep fighting.......

nubis

John_32's picture
John_32
Posts: 71
Joined: May 2010

I am very sorry to hear this about your husband. So young. It is so unfair.

We found a lump on my wife's breast less than two years ago on our honeymoon, and it was cancer, and now it is in her brain also. The treatments and the disease have so affected her mind that she is no longer the same person anymore and she chose to live with her parents. So I have already lost her mentally and I am concerned she does not have much longer to live. At least you got to be with your husband as he got worse before he died. I do not even have that anymore.

Take care,

John

PBJ Austin
Posts: 347
Joined: Mar 2009

I'm so very sorry for your loss nubis, it sounds like he fought a good fight. John, I am sorry for your pain as well. Both of you and everyone on this board are in my heart, my thoughts and prayers.

nubis's picture
nubis
Posts: 99
Joined: Mar 2008

Dear John:
Yes, I remember your story. It looks like our mission was to be with them. I'm so sorry that your wife is not the same person and she decided to live with her parents. Maybe she is thinking for you.... and she loves you so much that she doesn't want you to see her.... but be with her.... spend more time with her.... you will feel better when she is gone...... I was with Rafael all the time and even I feel I should have done more........Read to her.... I was reading to him and we were watching movies all the time........ we were using the weelchair to go outside and he wanted to be laid down in the grass, looking at the sky........ now when I want to feel him..... I like to laid down on the grass......

Love her.......

Nubis

stayingcalm's picture
stayingcalm
Posts: 656
Joined: Feb 2007

(forgot this was posted also in the lung cancer forum)

Caregiver1963's picture
Caregiver1963
Posts: 46
Joined: Jan 2010

Nubis
I am sorry for your loss. My 49 year old husband passed away from brain cancer July 11th after a 17 month battle.It is hearbreaking that we have to experience such losses- I try to focus on the fact he is no longer suffering. And I am committed to doing what I can do to
encourage fundraising efforts for brain cancer research so that there is hope for others
Take Care
Mary

nubis's picture
nubis
Posts: 99
Joined: Mar 2008

Thank you everybody. The cancer in the chest was really painful but we were controlling the pain with the medicine, but cancer in the brain????? he stopped walking, stopped eating, and finally stopped talking...... because the cancer in the brain was growing and making pressure in all these areas..... In the morning July 31th the day he passed away he was able to tell me I'm going to take care of you" "Be strong"....... So I'm trying..... But it is really hard.

momsworld's picture
momsworld
Posts: 135
Joined: May 2010

I am so sorry to hear about your husband. As hard as it is to think he is in a better place, he is. Please take care of yourself. Often we forget to do that in these situations. My 12 year old daughter has AA3 and hearing your news just makes me cry. Someone so young, that does for others and that has people who love them, why? Again I am so sorry for your loss.

3Mana
Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

So sorry about your husband. I can relate to your loss, cause I also lost my husband in March. He had lung cancer and also some in his brain & spine. He had 10 radiation treatments on his brain & spine which greatly reduced the lesions. We started to have hope. Then he started chemo. They gave him Alimta, Carboplatin & Avastin. When I read the side effects I was so scared. Especially about Avastin. Well, after the first treatment, he started coughing up blood. We called the doctor & went in before the next treatment. They stopped giving him Avastin, but it was too late. On March 25th, he started hemmoraging and died within an hour. They worked on him quite awhile, but it was too late. We never got to say Goodbye.
I have been seeing a counselor & am on meds which helped. I only wish he wouldn't have been at home, cause it's hard to forget.
But guess we just have to be strong and go on. I've had alot of support from my 3 kids & grandkids & friends so that has helped alot. But at first all I wanted to do was lay on the couch & couldn't stop crying.
I hope you're doing better now. We have to remember all the happy things and that will help us make it.

mpatelpharm
Posts: 6
Joined: Aug 2009

Nubis:
Im so sorry for your loss. I know exactly what you are going through. My husband(35) was diagnosed 1 year ago with a brainstem glioma.(inoperable brain tumor). He went through 6 weeks of brain radiation and was stable. This August, after celebrating our 6th wedding anniversary.. his tumor came back. He slowly, lost his speech and ability to walk.
He is on etoposide and Avastin. His latest MRI showed stable, and no disease progression.
We have to have faith and be hopeful.
I am also only 35 and we have two little girls. Age 4 and 2. Im so scared to loose him and face this world alone and a single mother.

How are you staying strong with your loss? Did you move back to mexico with your parents?

zunigan
Posts: 7
Joined: Jul 2010

Sorry to hear about your husband. My husband passed away from the same thing on Auguat 22, 2010 in Mexico. I was very lucky that I had the last two months he lived there with him. He lived here in the usa for 20 years before going back there to live by his family. Its a horrible thing to have to go through. He fought for over 11 years and endured many rounds of chemo and radiation, it came back a total of 5 times. Take care it hurts so much but I feel that now he is at peace and it makes me more peace full to know he no longer suffers.

OCMenno's picture
OCMenno
Posts: 26
Joined: Mar 2009

Really, really sorry. I know how you feel. I just lost my wife (31) on October 30th. I remember many of your posts from a while back. Was away from this site for some time and actually afraid to come back and find out who else had lost a loved one.

I pray that you find the strength to go on. This is so very hard, but for me, between my children and Jesus, we will make it somehow.

God bless!

Peter

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