I want to slap someone!
I am tired of people telling me how brave I am or that I am their hero. I want to tell them to shut the F#$% up. I am tired of them getting me pink stuff or t-shirts with cute cancer sayings. I am not cancer why would I want to advertise it on my chest. Threw it all in the trash Sunday. Pulled it back out and cut it all up and threw it back in the trash. Pulled it all out again and burned it all in the fireplace. Derived a lot of satisfaction watching it burn.
I also have to admit I am becoming a git of a recluse because I don't want to deal with people and all their petty little problems.
Comments
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Its a tough row to hoe!
I am sorry your friends friend was so insensitive, you'll find a lot of folks a long the way who tend to spit words out of their mouths without totally engaging their brain. I have a niece who used to buy me a ton of pink cancer stuff, it was her way of being supportive. Finally her mom told her that was enough I did not need a reminder of my cancer and although it was thoughtful on her part it may not be all that appreciated on my part even though I had never said so. I do not mind the ocasssional pink broach but I like you prefer not to wear a cancer shirt, everyone does not need to know my woes when I go out. I save mine for cancer walks and such, on all other days' they are gathering dust. It sounds like you exercised a sore spot by destroying which I hope has made you feel a bit better. Cancer changes us physically and mentally, I find myself stronger yet more sensitive sounds odd but it is true. Please do not all cancer to cause you to become a recluse you have worked hard to still be here and should be enjoying your day's out doors doing things they bring you joy, you have earned that.
Hugs,
RE0 -
oh gosh
I think we've all been somewhere near there! None of us wishes to have this define us! I admire your strength, and hutzpah! I relayed stories to a dear friend who asked, "What IS it like?" I had her laughing- so hard, ya know what, that HAS to be good. I told her about the horror stories that some "well meaning" idiots told me(the bald girl). It reminded me of being very pregnant and enduring tales of hideous painful birthing stories! I told her about the woman that "complimented" my new hair growth by saying" Well That's a bold choice of a hair do" Yes, thanks i told her...Chemo gave it to me. I couldn't help myself. She felt awful...perhaps she learned a lesson that day. I know I have learned plenty: #1- I am not particularly brave,
i just do what
i am told. #2- Totally not a warrior #3- a little delusion goes a long way-live your life, love those you love, and embrace all that matters to you. It's all we really have. "We" sisters are with you! xoxo0 -
Whatever works!jackiejhm said:oh gosh
I think we've all been somewhere near there! None of us wishes to have this define us! I admire your strength, and hutzpah! I relayed stories to a dear friend who asked, "What IS it like?" I had her laughing- so hard, ya know what, that HAS to be good. I told her about the horror stories that some "well meaning" idiots told me(the bald girl). It reminded me of being very pregnant and enduring tales of hideous painful birthing stories! I told her about the woman that "complimented" my new hair growth by saying" Well That's a bold choice of a hair do" Yes, thanks i told her...Chemo gave it to me. I couldn't help myself. She felt awful...perhaps she learned a lesson that day. I know I have learned plenty: #1- I am not particularly brave,
i just do what
i am told. #2- Totally not a warrior #3- a little delusion goes a long way-live your life, love those you love, and embrace all that matters to you. It's all we really have. "We" sisters are with you! xoxo
Foot insertion (is this a word??).....we all do it. I've been known to insert mine clean up to my knee. Did to an aquaintence I had lunch with once. She never said a word to me, but the look on her face made me feel about 1/3 inch high. It happens. It happens alot.
I don't know that I would have reacted quite as violently as you did, but you know, what's right for one may not be for the next. We each handle things in our own way. It may be a way of coping with your angst to burn all the pink stuff. I have given some of mine to a dear little girl that does the Relay for Life Walk in my honor. She made some cookies for me once...with pink m&m's, saying she saw these and made some herself and she wanted me to have them because they reminded her of me! What did I do? I ate them, and I didn't share! :-D In return, I have given her some pins that were given to me, and a bracelet. THAT was how I handled the haspink stuff.
So far, haven't had any really stupid remarks come to me. I'll handle those some kind of way. Probably will reach out and slap someone........who knows!!0 -
People can say hurtful
People can say hurtful things with out thinking. But please don't lock your self up. The hardest thing to do at times is keep you humor. Say good things to your self. I had a customer call the other day and ask how I was doing. I told him I was going for Chemo. He said you have cancer? I said yes I do. He said Oh I knew some one that got cancer and they died. I said well thanks for your concern. How long after your mouth starts running does your brain kick in. Maybe I will call you when I am back to work Maybe. LOL Take care I wish you happiness and peace. One of your sisters Kay0 -
Sweet, Sweet, Sweetjackiejhm said:oh gosh
I think we've all been somewhere near there! None of us wishes to have this define us! I admire your strength, and hutzpah! I relayed stories to a dear friend who asked, "What IS it like?" I had her laughing- so hard, ya know what, that HAS to be good. I told her about the horror stories that some "well meaning" idiots told me(the bald girl). It reminded me of being very pregnant and enduring tales of hideous painful birthing stories! I told her about the woman that "complimented" my new hair growth by saying" Well That's a bold choice of a hair do" Yes, thanks i told her...Chemo gave it to me. I couldn't help myself. She felt awful...perhaps she learned a lesson that day. I know I have learned plenty: #1- I am not particularly brave,
i just do what
i am told. #2- Totally not a warrior #3- a little delusion goes a long way-live your life, love those you love, and embrace all that matters to you. It's all we really have. "We" sisters are with you! xoxo
During the midst of my chemotherapy I had similar outbursts...at work I began to think of it as 'roid rage'.
I noticed LOTS of people wanted to share their own stories of someone that they knew that died from cancer, like I want to hear about that! I recall one woman coming to me in tears as her sister had a recurrence...long story short...she was wondering how a woman with no hair and one breast could ever feel like a real woman. I was thinking 'stupid b*tch', but trust me, my tongue still hurts from that day. It's all insensitivity on their part, people wanting to relate without really knowing what to say. The most endearing response I got was an older gentleman, a stranger, that asked about me and wanted to know how long I had been battling.
I very much admire the way you handled the pink crap.
Becoming a recluse is always an option. I stopped worrying about making others comfortable. I am topless, no head coverings, as I am more comfortable not tugging on a head wrap. Also, if I feel like wearing my polyester 'sister' for symmetry, I do it for me, and if 'she, needs to be adjusted I will tug on her if need be. I am not disengaging from society, but I find comfort from the old adage...
"F*ck 'em if they can't take the joke."
Hang in there, sweetvickid0 -
I experienced feelings so
I experienced feelings so very similar to yours! I was sooo tired of getting "the look", or the avoidance of any look at all, and then was bombarded with ALL THINGS PINK! If it was Pink and had anything to do with Breasts and/or Cancer, we just have to get it for Chen! ARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!! It is as if anything I did, who I was, what I liked had all but disappeared into a haze called cancer, and that's all anyone ever saw when they even heard my name
And to top it off, instead of appreciating the sunsets and sunrise, or stopping to smell those proverbial roses, I was FURIOUS! It seemed to me that everyone was whining over nothing, turning having a hangnail into a life-changing event, and their pettiness was driving me over the edge.
I "lost it" with my sister, much the same way you did. She and her husband had come to visit, and while in town, I ran into my local pharmacist. My sister mentioned something (probably innocently!) about how she doesn't know her pharmacist on a first name basis and I blew up at her, cursing that the ONLY reason I would know that is because I pick up meds to help save my %^^%^%^ Life, thank you very much!!! It was so completely out of character for me, that it took my family by shocked surprise!
I came to a few conclusions...one I was so very tired. Tired of the chemicals, tired of the fear, tired of how I looked, tired of being thinking I might die...just tired. The entire ordeal was just too much, emotionally speaking, and my exhaustion level overtook my rational self.
I also finally came to realize that I was JEALOUS of the petty things going on around me! I wanted to whine over the hangnail! I wanted the worst thing in my day was to be slow service at a restaurant! I didn't want to know the first name of my pharmacist! I felt like Goldie Hawn in Pvt Benjamin~ I wanted my old life back!!!!
This is really not the fault of those around us...I probably at one time bought Pink Ribbon things for people who grew to hate them. Or perhaps I gave others "the look"~I really don't know. But not being in their shoes, I only did what I knew to do. I lead with my heart, and I assume that those who are gifting me with Pink are doing the same thing.
The further away I got from treatment, the less tired I was, the more the life-saving chemicals left my battered body, the more my "sanity" returned and I truly did become the Chen I was before!
I am confidant that your former self will re-immerge as well; and you will also have a fine tuned awareness of All Things Cancer.
Sorry to ramble, but I just wanted you to know your experience is not unique~it too is something you have in common with me. Another proof positive what we are indeed Kindred Spirits!
Hugs and a Big Sigh!
Chen♥0 -
said so wellchenheart said:I experienced feelings so
I experienced feelings so very similar to yours! I was sooo tired of getting "the look", or the avoidance of any look at all, and then was bombarded with ALL THINGS PINK! If it was Pink and had anything to do with Breasts and/or Cancer, we just have to get it for Chen! ARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!! It is as if anything I did, who I was, what I liked had all but disappeared into a haze called cancer, and that's all anyone ever saw when they even heard my name
And to top it off, instead of appreciating the sunsets and sunrise, or stopping to smell those proverbial roses, I was FURIOUS! It seemed to me that everyone was whining over nothing, turning having a hangnail into a life-changing event, and their pettiness was driving me over the edge.
I "lost it" with my sister, much the same way you did. She and her husband had come to visit, and while in town, I ran into my local pharmacist. My sister mentioned something (probably innocently!) about how she doesn't know her pharmacist on a first name basis and I blew up at her, cursing that the ONLY reason I would know that is because I pick up meds to help save my %^^%^%^ Life, thank you very much!!! It was so completely out of character for me, that it took my family by shocked surprise!
I came to a few conclusions...one I was so very tired. Tired of the chemicals, tired of the fear, tired of how I looked, tired of being thinking I might die...just tired. The entire ordeal was just too much, emotionally speaking, and my exhaustion level overtook my rational self.
I also finally came to realize that I was JEALOUS of the petty things going on around me! I wanted to whine over the hangnail! I wanted the worst thing in my day was to be slow service at a restaurant! I didn't want to know the first name of my pharmacist! I felt like Goldie Hawn in Pvt Benjamin~ I wanted my old life back!!!!
This is really not the fault of those around us...I probably at one time bought Pink Ribbon things for people who grew to hate them. Or perhaps I gave others "the look"~I really don't know. But not being in their shoes, I only did what I knew to do. I lead with my heart, and I assume that those who are gifting me with Pink are doing the same thing.
The further away I got from treatment, the less tired I was, the more the life-saving chemicals left my battered body, the more my "sanity" returned and I truly did become the Chen I was before!
I am confidant that your former self will re-immerge as well; and you will also have a fine tuned awareness of All Things Cancer.
Sorry to ramble, but I just wanted you to know your experience is not unique~it too is something you have in common with me. Another proof positive what we are indeed Kindred Spirits!
Hugs and a Big Sigh!
Chen♥
Chen you always hit the nail on the head!!!!!!!!!!!!0 -
I hear you, even the part
I hear you, even the part about becoming a bit of a recluse. I think sometimes people are so caught up in their own worlds that they lack the sensitivity to move beyond it and really get a grip on how their actions impact others. Sounds like your friends friend did just that.
I have found during chemo that I am becoming more and more intolerant of people's petty crap, like yourself. I listened to a friend for 40 minutes while we walked complain about how her husband had forgotten to buy toilet paper, I offered her some, she refused because complaining made her feel better and me feel like I don't want to take our evening walks together anymore.
I think cancer starts to put things in perspective, really facing a life threatening disease makes 'sweating the small stuff' not worth it anymore because life is short and drama is a waste of time.
I like to think of it as not so much becoming a recluse but becoming very discriminating as to who and how I want to spend time with people.
Take it easy on yourself. Compassion for oneself is key here.0 -
I hear you, even the part
I hear you, even the part about becoming a bit of a recluse. I think sometimes people are so caught up in their own worlds that they lack the sensitivity to move beyond it and really get a grip on how their actions impact others. Sounds like your friends friend did just that.
I have found during chemo that I am becoming more and more intolerant of people's petty crap, like yourself. I listened to a friend for 40 minutes while we walked complain about how her husband had forgotten to buy toilet paper, I offered her some, she refused because complaining made her feel better and me feel like I don't want to take our evening walks together anymore.
I think cancer starts to put things in perspective, really facing a life threatening disease makes 'sweating the small stuff' not worth it anymore because life is short and drama is a waste of time.
I like to think of it as not so much becoming a recluse but becoming very discriminating as to who and how I want to spend time with people.
Take it easy on yourself. Compassion for oneself is key here.0 -
Today was the first time
Today was the first time that I've been 'upset' (mad) about anything someone has said to me. I had my port flushed today. The 'tupid RN wants to know how chemo is going? DUH - If I was still doing Chemo - I wouldn't need it flushed. This is not the first time he's done the flush - we've talked about it everytime he's done it that unless 'something shows up', I'm done with chemo (and rads) but that 'we' (ALL my Drs. and I) want to leave it in for at least a year after the last rad - which will be next March - "just in case". This is not at a large facility - it is at a VA Clinic and I've been told that I'm the only one getting flushes done monthly.
Yeah - I'd like to '(you fill in what you'd want to do)'. But it really isn't worth wasting energy over. "Not a gonna sweat the small stuff."
Susan0 -
Ups and downs
I'm sorry you had to deal with such an insensitive comment and I don't blame you at all for your outburst. There have been many times in the past few months where I have been at work and just wanted to hit someone or scream at them and walk out the door for the rest of the day. I think my medication types and dosages had a lot to do with my short temper and irritation at people (I've adjusted some medications and am doing better now).
I didn't receive a lot of "pink" bc things - I only have one travel cup from a good friend. One thing that I have found is that I am buying pink things for myself now. It's not that they are bc pink or have the sayings or logos on them, they just have pink in them. I now have a skirt that is pink and black, a dress that is pink with a black design, and a pink shirt. I just ordered a new laptop bag for work that is tan with pink edges. These pink things don't scream bc and most people don't even notice, but I think about myself more when I wear them. It is like a special secret that only I know even when I am surrounded by co-workers or strangers at the grocery store.
Dealing with people with petty little problems can be annoying and I often wonder if they would even think to say that stuff if they knew all that I have gone through with bc. Most of the time I just (half) listen to them while I think about how I could totally wreck their day by telling them my story of bc. I don't do it, but I think it.
Take care.0 -
Love your responsesmalldoggroomer said:People can say hurtful
People can say hurtful things with out thinking. But please don't lock your self up. The hardest thing to do at times is keep you humor. Say good things to your self. I had a customer call the other day and ask how I was doing. I told him I was going for Chemo. He said you have cancer? I said yes I do. He said Oh I knew some one that got cancer and they died. I said well thanks for your concern. How long after your mouth starts running does your brain kick in. Maybe I will call you when I am back to work Maybe. LOL Take care I wish you happiness and peace. One of your sisters Kay
I love your response to your customer. Wish I could think that fast.
m0 -
You're probably the smartest woman on the planetchenheart said:I experienced feelings so
I experienced feelings so very similar to yours! I was sooo tired of getting "the look", or the avoidance of any look at all, and then was bombarded with ALL THINGS PINK! If it was Pink and had anything to do with Breasts and/or Cancer, we just have to get it for Chen! ARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!! It is as if anything I did, who I was, what I liked had all but disappeared into a haze called cancer, and that's all anyone ever saw when they even heard my name
And to top it off, instead of appreciating the sunsets and sunrise, or stopping to smell those proverbial roses, I was FURIOUS! It seemed to me that everyone was whining over nothing, turning having a hangnail into a life-changing event, and their pettiness was driving me over the edge.
I "lost it" with my sister, much the same way you did. She and her husband had come to visit, and while in town, I ran into my local pharmacist. My sister mentioned something (probably innocently!) about how she doesn't know her pharmacist on a first name basis and I blew up at her, cursing that the ONLY reason I would know that is because I pick up meds to help save my %^^%^%^ Life, thank you very much!!! It was so completely out of character for me, that it took my family by shocked surprise!
I came to a few conclusions...one I was so very tired. Tired of the chemicals, tired of the fear, tired of how I looked, tired of being thinking I might die...just tired. The entire ordeal was just too much, emotionally speaking, and my exhaustion level overtook my rational self.
I also finally came to realize that I was JEALOUS of the petty things going on around me! I wanted to whine over the hangnail! I wanted the worst thing in my day was to be slow service at a restaurant! I didn't want to know the first name of my pharmacist! I felt like Goldie Hawn in Pvt Benjamin~ I wanted my old life back!!!!
This is really not the fault of those around us...I probably at one time bought Pink Ribbon things for people who grew to hate them. Or perhaps I gave others "the look"~I really don't know. But not being in their shoes, I only did what I knew to do. I lead with my heart, and I assume that those who are gifting me with Pink are doing the same thing.
The further away I got from treatment, the less tired I was, the more the life-saving chemicals left my battered body, the more my "sanity" returned and I truly did become the Chen I was before!
I am confidant that your former self will re-immerge as well; and you will also have a fine tuned awareness of All Things Cancer.
Sorry to ramble, but I just wanted you to know your experience is not unique~it too is something you have in common with me. Another proof positive what we are indeed Kindred Spirits!
Hugs and a Big Sigh!
Chen♥
Thank you for putting into words what I've been feeling for so long and could never have expressed. Most of the time I'm too mad at everyone, deserved or not.
I don't know what I'd do if I hadn't come to know you on this site.
Thank you.
marge0 -
I loved your three-pronged attack on the pink stuff!Wolfi said:Ups and downs
I'm sorry you had to deal with such an insensitive comment and I don't blame you at all for your outburst. There have been many times in the past few months where I have been at work and just wanted to hit someone or scream at them and walk out the door for the rest of the day. I think my medication types and dosages had a lot to do with my short temper and irritation at people (I've adjusted some medications and am doing better now).
I didn't receive a lot of "pink" bc things - I only have one travel cup from a good friend. One thing that I have found is that I am buying pink things for myself now. It's not that they are bc pink or have the sayings or logos on them, they just have pink in them. I now have a skirt that is pink and black, a dress that is pink with a black design, and a pink shirt. I just ordered a new laptop bag for work that is tan with pink edges. These pink things don't scream bc and most people don't even notice, but I think about myself more when I wear them. It is like a special secret that only I know even when I am surrounded by co-workers or strangers at the grocery store.
Dealing with people with petty little problems can be annoying and I often wonder if they would even think to say that stuff if they knew all that I have gone through with bc. Most of the time I just (half) listen to them while I think about how I could totally wreck their day by telling them my story of bc. I don't do it, but I think it.
Take care.
I laughed out loud. Like all of the others, I've been to a point when I hear someone whining about some stupid, insignificant "problem" I want to say--get over it. Seriously, if that's the worst thing going on in your life right now, I'll trade you in a New York minute! I know people don't mean the thoughtless comments they make, but they still hurt and make you feel badly. I don't know why, but what I hate hearing most of all is, "Wow, you're almost done--and almost back to normal." No, you jacka__, I'll never be done and things will never be normal--don't you get it?! They don't.
But, all these things make for some good stories to us--we can all relate and we definitely "get it!"
Hugs, Renee0 -
Yeah I always wonder whymissrenee said:I loved your three-pronged attack on the pink stuff!
I laughed out loud. Like all of the others, I've been to a point when I hear someone whining about some stupid, insignificant "problem" I want to say--get over it. Seriously, if that's the worst thing going on in your life right now, I'll trade you in a New York minute! I know people don't mean the thoughtless comments they make, but they still hurt and make you feel badly. I don't know why, but what I hate hearing most of all is, "Wow, you're almost done--and almost back to normal." No, you jacka__, I'll never be done and things will never be normal--don't you get it?! They don't.
But, all these things make for some good stories to us--we can all relate and we definitely "get it!"
Hugs, Renee
Yeah I always wonder why people feel compelled to tell me who has died recently from cancer. I've always bitten my tongue , but I think a little sensitivity training might be in order....I don't think I'd go off...but maybe a sarcastic
"yeah I really want to hear all about someone dying from my disease...thanks for sharing" might be in order....The pink stuff doesn't bother me. It has brought an awareness to the subject that we didn't have before...so it serves its purpose.0 -
I want to slap someone toodyaneb123 said:Yeah I always wonder why
Yeah I always wonder why people feel compelled to tell me who has died recently from cancer. I've always bitten my tongue , but I think a little sensitivity training might be in order....I don't think I'd go off...but maybe a sarcastic
"yeah I really want to hear all about someone dying from my disease...thanks for sharing" might be in order....The pink stuff doesn't bother me. It has brought an awareness to the subject that we didn't have before...so it serves its purpose.
People seem determined to tell me about who they know that had "the same cancer", and they're just fine now. I know they mean to encourage me, but their ignorance makes me want to puke. There was a time when I might have said the same stupid things, so I know most of it is not meant to cause any stress. Nevertheless I still want to just knock them silly.
From Steel Magnolias: "Here, slap Weezer". That line makes me laugh...often.
God bless you. Gracie0 -
I never really cared forRague said:Today was the first time
Today was the first time that I've been 'upset' (mad) about anything someone has said to me. I had my port flushed today. The 'tupid RN wants to know how chemo is going? DUH - If I was still doing Chemo - I wouldn't need it flushed. This is not the first time he's done the flush - we've talked about it everytime he's done it that unless 'something shows up', I'm done with chemo (and rads) but that 'we' (ALL my Drs. and I) want to leave it in for at least a year after the last rad - which will be next March - "just in case". This is not at a large facility - it is at a VA Clinic and I've been told that I'm the only one getting flushes done monthly.
Yeah - I'd like to '(you fill in what you'd want to do)'. But it really isn't worth wasting energy over. "Not a gonna sweat the small stuff."
Susan
I never really cared for pink anyway. I think we should make the color for breast cancer red and then maybe I wouldn't mind wearing it but then again maybe not. I hate anything that reminds me that I have breast cancer. I am fully aware that I have it. Sometimes I surely would like to forget it but things like doctor's appts amd meds and short hair are pretty much daily reminders.
I haven't jumped in anbody's stuff yet but have been pretty close. So I can surely understand where you are coming from. Sometimes it is the littlest thing that really pisses me off.
Sending Hugs
Donna0 -
xxoo
Burn away. It does suck being everyone's hero...we're just people with a crappy disease trying not to be complete Debbie Downers at times.
Sorry you're feeling the pressure. People don't know WHAT to say.
I've found they either say nothing at all or say the wrong thing.
For me I'd rather them talk to me and be honest than shut me out.
Still doesn't mean what folks say doesn't suck though...I totally agree with you.
So burn away. Pick another "color"! ;)I know you'll pick one that suits you for now.
Everyone here is behind you all the way!
xxoo,
SamuraiMom
p.s. read my blog...believe it or not we think a lot a like...don't judge this book by her picture!
lol 0 -
ok this is really weird, butm_azingrace said:I want to slap someone too
People seem determined to tell me about who they know that had "the same cancer", and they're just fine now. I know they mean to encourage me, but their ignorance makes me want to puke. There was a time when I might have said the same stupid things, so I know most of it is not meant to cause any stress. Nevertheless I still want to just knock them silly.
From Steel Magnolias: "Here, slap Weezer". That line makes me laugh...often.
God bless you. Gracie
ok this is really weird, but I had this visual if everyone wore a tee shirt with their particular health problem on it. diabetes, lupus, ED.....
Anyway, I never could figure out why people think its ok to tell you their horror stories but they do. one insight I have is a woman on a different site I am on (not cancer related) asked my advice about how to reach out to an aquaintance newly diagnosed with cancer. Anyway the upshot is,she wrote" I guess people with cancer are like anyone else" I have been dealing with BC for many years, and I have become immune to many comments but this one was new for me. I wonder how many people think this and never say it. Then I wonder if we become that diagnosis to them and thats why they feel they can say anything they want to us. Like it wouldnt affect us???? Who knows their problem.
I do know the anger is sometimes hard to deal with,this really does suck. I try to focus on the people who love me and matter.
Oh yeah I hate October, and dont want any pink stuff. I have a bracelet, I bought myself. I am not breast cancer, I am me. I remember the quote from Christopher Reeves' book when his wife said 'you are still you " Anyways we should get tee shirts that say 'here slap weezer" we will know what it means. hugs hugs hugs.0 -
I'm sooo happy
Thought I was alone in the anti-pink clothes,hats, shoes,underwear,bras,bands,bracelets and anything else they can slap a pink bow on. Food products,cars etc.
I think it started innocently enough. You know, show the love and support, but now it's like Christmas. Over commericalized and starts in Sept. I do like pink underwear for some odd reason. Always have.lol
Sweetvic and all the other ladies out there, I embrace you all with your wit, humor, anger, tears (happiness and sadness)and as Chen says Kindred Spirits.
Guess we truely know what it is to be "sick" even if we are well. It's a constant reminder of our disease with the battle scars, large and the small ones. The "hangover" from chemo, rads, meds, Drs appts. Flushing of ports, flushing of loose bowels and vomit, over use of laxatives/stool softners, (that one was me) wondering if it will come back and where, when.
Love and hugs go to the ones it has reared it's ugly head at again.
People really don't have a clue about the other side. They get up and do things in life we need to think about before we do. Long trips, out to the store, seeing friends and family. Sometimes I don't have the energy and they still want you to be ur "old" self. I'll never be that person again. I'm the "new" self. And Sweettvic, if you want to close your doors, I say do so, but don't stay there to long. I call my recluse days ( usually 3 days) My pity party and I'm the guest of honor, and I don't have to invite anyone. meditation I guess is a better word. I really do babble on. Sighhh Sorry. Stay strong my sisters in _ _ _ _! (Place ur favorite color in the blanks) Love to all,Katz0
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