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Upcoming CT Scan

yesyes2
Posts: 461
Joined: Jul 2009

Well I'm 5 1/2 months out of chemo, RCHOP, and 4 1/2 months since my last scan. My Onc wanted to wait until Sept to do my next scan. I wasn't comfortable waiting that long so I'm having my CTs this Friday. So now I'm getting nervous and wondering why I do this to my self. Last time we went 6 months I had my recurrance so I'm thinking 4 months is better. I've been having stomach issues and pains similar to the other two times. I also am having a breast MRI the following Monday and that is very scarey for a 2 time breast cancer survivor. Figured I might just as well do them at the same time and have the waiting for results done togetter. Now I'm not so sure. Guess I'm just looking for some reasurance. These tests really suck.............I'd better still be in remission or I'm really going to be pissed. Guess I'm just venting but thought you all would understand.
Thanks for listening, Leslie

Tracie1981's picture
Tracie1981
Posts: 125
Joined: Mar 2010

I would want to vent too, trust me! I am to the point now where I cant wait to be done with everything! I know I'm going to be just as stressed with all my follow up scans too. Good luck and you will be in my thoughts and prayers, cancer is definitely not easy to deal with that is for sure! God Bless!

yesyes2
Posts: 461
Joined: Jul 2009

Tracie, I think follow ups may even be worse than treatments. And I noticed that as I got closer and closer to completion it became harder and harder to put up with the treatments. Felt like when your done your done. Your so right, cancer is definitly not easy to deal with.
Wishing the very best to you,
Leslie

allmost60's picture
allmost60
Posts: 3167
Joined: Jul 2010

Hi Leslie...
I have totally mastered the art of venting...just ask my hubby....God bless him! I'm constantly talking to myself and he will say "you talkin to me, or your imaginary friends?" Ha! Out of no where I'll blurt out..."this just sucks" and he just calmly puts his book down and says.."can you break that down in a little more detail so I won't be wondering if it's me that sucks"? Last week he asked me what sounded good for diner...I said "nothin...I'm practicing how I'll feel on day 2 or 3 after chemo, so just surprise me". Thank goodness he knows me so well and just lets my mood spells slide without judging. Waiting for test results really plays with your mind and I can't even imagine how hard it is for all of you that have gone in and out of remission and going through this routine time and time again. I pray I will do it as gracefully as so many of you have. My prayers will be with you this week for "Happy" results next friday. Don't forget to share back. Take care...Love...Sue

merrywinner's picture
merrywinner
Posts: 620
Joined: Aug 2009

You are just so funny and so sweet. You will do well. I just know it. Good luck tomorrow and let us know what's going to be up. We'll all be here waiting. Mary

yesyes2
Posts: 461
Joined: Jul 2009

Sue, must be a side effect of cancer as I find I'm talking to myself more and more often. Sometimes it's down right embarassing but usually pretty humorous because strangers just look at this strange older (mature) semi bald person. Thanks for the kind words and prayers. I'll take all I can get. Blessings to you, Leslie

merrywinner's picture
merrywinner
Posts: 620
Joined: Aug 2009

Most of us truly understand or will understand soon enough. Having been in the situation I know how hard it is. So much is riding on those results that the closer it gets it becomes huge. Glad you brought it up and vented some. I think it helps. I will be facing this situation at the end of August and while it's still far enough away to not be consuming me I know in a couple of weeks I will be a mess. But I guess all we can do is take it one step at a time and know that if anything is wrong there is something that can be done. I hate not having any control over it! But at least I can control my attitude although sometimes I don't want to. You have always seemed positive with a good sense of humor. You will make it through. You have support and you have the prayers of many. Hold your head up, jut your chin out, throw your shoulders back and walk proudly into those appointments. All the worrying in the world won't change the results but strength will help you mentally. The very best of luck to you and my prayers have already been sent. Oh and please remind me of all of this in a few weeks. LOL Mary

yesyes2
Posts: 461
Joined: Jul 2009

You always seem to know just the right things to say. You are so right when you said that worrying doesn't change anything. Worrying is something I have a masters degree in, lol. I try and always keep in mind that what is is......and everything is as it should be. Thanks for listening and I'll be there for you in August. Take care, Leslie

merrywinner's picture
merrywinner
Posts: 620
Joined: Aug 2009

Thanks but it sure seems like I don't know how to say the right things when I talk to myself. I have always considered myself a professional worrier. I should be able to make some money at it. But sadly there's not much of a market for it. The best to you. Mary

vinny59's picture
vinny59
Posts: 1030
Joined: Nov 2006

Nothing wrong with venting here Leslie, I think we all keep a lot in, to put up a good front for our loved ones, I feel I need to be strong for them..... Wish you all the best!!! good luck, keep us posted... Vinny

yesyes2
Posts: 461
Joined: Jul 2009

Vinny, I'm learning that this is a very safe and good place to vent. Usually I vent to my husband and son, both are very good at listening, but didn't really want to burden them with my fears at this time. Must be doubly hard being a male and feeling you need to be stronge. I know my husband got very frustrated during my treatments because he couldn't fix it. Take care and good wishes for your next treatment.
Blessings, Leslie

vinny59's picture
vinny59
Posts: 1030
Joined: Nov 2006

Thanks Leslie, it's true I can't and will not let my family know my deepest fears, it's not so much being a male, I know and realize how hard it is for our caregivers, like your husband and my wife, not being able to do anything frankly but watch. I just think they have enough to worry about.......... that's why I love this forum!!!! take care Vinny

dixiegirl's picture
dixiegirl
Posts: 1043
Joined: Apr 2006

Your family loves you and wants to be there for you. Talk to them, they need to know you're normal. ANY normal person male or female is afraid of cancer. You may not want to tell them everything and that's cool, come here, talk to us...but don't shut them out either. They need to know they are helping you. I desperately needed that when my mom was dying. It HELPED me and helped me do what I could to help my husband with me.

It hasn't been all that long ago I got out of the car, Jim came to the car door and I just let him hold me and let me cry and tell him just how very much I hate cancer. It was healing for me.

Take care and happy 1/2 done!!

vinny59's picture
vinny59
Posts: 1030
Joined: Nov 2006

Don't get me wrong I tell her when I'm hurting or feeling sick to my stomach, I just don't wan't tell her everything. You need to be positive, let them know that we are going to get through this and never quit fighting. I agree that you can't close up, but just read the some of the post's here, this is my second cancer,been thru chemo twice, I'm so scared about the damage that this stuff is doing to other parts of my body. I just like to keep that to myself that's all......... Thanks for support! Vinny

yesyes2
Posts: 461
Joined: Jul 2009

Hi All,
Thought I would share that my CT Scan results say I'm still in remission.............YEAH!!
The first reading was questionable and my Onc didn't know what to make of some of the findings. Pretty scary for me and my husband. I had a second reading by a radiologist that I greatly trust, and he said all was fine and there were no new changes, no visable lymphoma, no enlarged nodes. And my breast MRI was clean also. What a relief, what an understatement. Don't think I'll do any more scans for some time now. I really think I need a cancer break, all of use do.
Love to all,
Leslie

yesyes2
Posts: 461
Joined: Jul 2009

Hey Mary, isn't your scan coming up pretty soon? How are you doing? Think of you.
Leslie

merrywinner's picture
merrywinner
Posts: 620
Joined: Aug 2009

So glad to hear about your scan results. I bet you feel 100 lbs lighter. And a cruise booked on top of it....yea. I am so happy for you. Yes I do have a scam coming op on the 27Th and the butterflies are starting to arrive. I feel fine but for me that doesn't always mean......GRRR!!! And on we go. Could you just take me with you and I'll skip the rest? Again congrats and thanks for remembering. Mary

vinny59's picture
vinny59
Posts: 1030
Joined: Nov 2006

Great, great news Leslie, I think taking a break is a awesome idea!!!! When I got thru my first cancer my wife and I went to St. Maartin, only a month after my first treatment,I was not 100% but who cared, it was great to get away!!!!!! Wishing all the best!!!! Vinny

yesyes2
Posts: 461
Joined: Jul 2009

Yes, my husband and I are taking an Alaskan cruise in Sept. We're celebration the end of a truely challenging year and our 25th wedding anniv. Can't wait!!! Leslie

vinny59's picture
vinny59
Posts: 1030
Joined: Nov 2006

That sound like a blast!!!!! have a great time be here before you know it!!!! and Congrats on your 25th!!!!!!

allmost60's picture
allmost60
Posts: 3167
Joined: Jul 2010

Hi Leslie,
Thats great news about your scan results...thanks for sharing. News like this keeps me in a positive frame of mind. Enjoy your cruise...our close friends just got back from an Alaskan cruise and they totally enjoyed themselves to the max! They did some salmon fishing also which was a thrill for both of them. Time now for you and hubby to take a deep breath and relax!
Love...Sue

dixiegirl's picture
dixiegirl
Posts: 1043
Joined: Apr 2006

damn........I got ripped off. No alaskan cruise, St. Maartin.

Oh well. Just getting ready for 16th anniversary....maybe at 25. :)

dixiegirl's picture
dixiegirl
Posts: 1043
Joined: Apr 2006

Oh Thank you God....one more in remission is a wonderful thing!

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