Jul 22, 2010 - 3:53 pm
Well, my hysterectomy is scheduled for August 20(I have Stage 1 uterine cancer with grade 2 cells) and I must say that I still feel ambivalence, fear, and a bit blue. It's all been so overwhelming, especially my five hour appointment at the hospital on Monday! I must say that I was happy that all my labs and tests came out fine and many of the people I met with said I was their healthiest patient (except for the surprise cancer, that is.) It's probably not often that the gynechology/oncology clinic gets a patient who has no physical complaints whatsoever, but has a life-threatening illness.
I was not expecting warm and fuzzy from my surgeon (she comes highly recommended and is very competent and our cancer center is in the top 50 in the nation), but I was as eager to talk about my life after the surgery as they were to talk about the surgery. My gynechologist told me that I would be able to continue my bioidentical hormones soon after the surgery and the surgeon and her assistance said no way! Needless to say, I was quite upset because I felt like my youth and sex life would come to an end and then they told me I needed counseling, which I thought was a bit insensitive. After all, they have never been through this trial personally (they are both women.) In any case, am I nuts for wanting a good quality of life after my surgery---a desire to have sex, strength to continue my fitness routines and feel good about my body, skin that is not sagging and aging, a positive mental attitude, etc.??
The more I thought about them wanting to deny me my bioidentical hormones, the less well it settled with me. I checked some bloodwork I recently had done and my estrogen level was only 14 (which is very low according to information from the internet and I've been told it was low before I went on the hormones---I am a very healthy and strong 56 years old and most people think I'm in my early 40's and I'm married to a younger man) and my testosterone levels were also low (and they added a little bit more testosterone to my prescription and it made a huge difference in quality of my sex life.)
Should I call my gynecologist and talk to her about this? I hate to put her in the middle, but it's so difficult getting conflicting information. I know that I'm probably "putting the horse before the cart" but this issue is getting me so down and I need to be strong and positive for the upcoming surgery and dealing with my family's reaction to my diagnosis, etc. I feel very guilty about complaining about this given that I have such a curable cancer (and I should feel grateful for that), but I guess I'm think as much about life as I am about possible death at this point (maybe I'm still in shock.)
Thank you so much for your help.