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is 37 young or old? :)

kc24648
Posts: 5
Joined: Jul 2010

Hi everyone!
I am a 37 yr old,divorced, woman. I had 3 different cancers, 1 each year for 3 years... then the 4th yr, my husband left (hence the divorce).
Anyway, I am now looking to see if there are "cancer people" (patients, survivors, family members of cancer people) who are looking to go forward? I'm ready to try and date, and all the "single" men seem to be freaked out by the cancer history. UGH!!Hello! I am a mom of 2 daughters, work full time, etc.. I want to have fun, date, enjoy life! I don't want to always go places by myself, not if I can enjoy it with someone! geesh!!!
Am I alone in this quest? I figure "cancer people" as I call them, understand to see the beauty in life, and maybe they would "smell the roses" with me, since they have some knowledge about cancer. I just dont know.... Does anyone know if there are other singles like me looking to go forward and enjoy life with a new friend/companion???
Thanks!!!

sohardbnme's picture
sohardbnme
Posts: 129
Joined: Jun 2010

Hi...
Have you had chemo yet? How are you dealing with your diagnosis.

gelovime's picture
gelovime
Posts: 15
Joined: Jun 2010

Hi...I am 38 and understand you perfectly, my husband was on a panic attak like 3 months ago and he said he didn't want to live with me anymore...thanks God, he left for only one night and he came back asking for forgiveness and now everything is better.
I know is very important to get out and look for somebody, but what I learned in this process is that the most important thing is that we have our selves and we love ourselves....if we can live with that , everything will come easily to us!!!!
I wish the best for you and take care!!!!!

Irishgypsie's picture
Irishgypsie
Posts: 333
Joined: May 2010

Hi, I'm new to cancer also was diagnosed at 38; turned 39 right after treatment ended. There is a young survivor group in my area but the age cutoff is 39. Then there is the old folks who seem to be 50 and over. It sucks because we seem to be in limbo once you hit 40. Yes, 37 is young but I felt like once I was diagnosed with cancer (oral) I went from 38 to 58 over night! :( Unfortunately I was suppose to get married last year but fiance backed out; she was almost 9 years younger than me and all of a sudden realized she wasn't ready to get married and have kids. Now I'm 39, not married, NO kids and trying to survive cancer. I'm pretty much in a DARK place right now. I think life sucks and it's a bunch of BS. Now I think I a may never get married or have children. I feel like Charlie in the box from Rudolph the red nose reindeer. Now I belong on the island of misfit toys and nobody will want to be with me! :(

Charles

Evoling_butterfly's picture
Evoling_butterfly
Posts: 57
Joined: Sep 2010

I was diagnoised with breast cancer one month before my 31st bithday. Happy birthday!! I was already feeling like when will I find me a husband. Now I'm taking chemo,then surgey bilateral mastectomy and possible hysterectomy cause of my family history.. SO now I'm like forget it, I might as well get use to being lonely. Maybe it's the chemo talking :). But whatever it is, its sucks.. I wish you well on your dating journey please keep me updated.. Cause I have to have something to hope for even if it is someone else love life :) lol

Pasha's picture
Pasha
Posts: 4
Joined: Mar 2011

I too was diagnosed pretty young - only 30. Uterine cancer caused me to have a full hystorectomy. There went any chances for children. Only a week out of the hospital it was Mother's Day, and my sister-in-law announces they're having a baby. Seemed like a slap in the face, considering she's my age and isn't exactly the "motherly" type. Every time I tell people my story I get the "you're too young" reaction. Funny how I feel like I'm 90, not 32...

Chemo_Princess's picture
Chemo_Princess
Posts: 105
Joined: Aug 2009

I was diagnosed stage 3c ovarian cancer at age 30. Nearly two years later I am still on chemo. I've just accepted the fact that I will never date again. It sucks but I'm damaged goods now--nobody wants that! lol
Blessings to all of you,
Natalie

C_Reich's picture
C_Reich
Posts: 10
Joined: Dec 2010

Im only 17 so i see 37 as old ;P

But good to luck you with your treatment, support from your friends/family will really help. And stay mentally strong.

johnrainsd's picture
johnrainsd
Posts: 2
Joined: Apr 2011

Don't worry. People always have issues. Nobody is perfect. People smoke for an instance, they are damaging themselves intentionally. You are trying to survive. There is a clear difference. I would date a lady as long as she has a bright personality.

tanker sgv's picture
tanker sgv
Posts: 128
Joined: Nov 2010

I don't think 37 is old that's the age my dad passed from a brain tumor and my mom was 47 when she passed from colon cancer. I think its about how you want to view life. If you are positive about the future then your still young and eager to learn. I think my parents had a lot of living to do so I think they were to young to die. That's my opinion anyways...

Shi145
Posts: 4
Joined: May 2011

I totally understand where your coming from. I am 35 and this feb I split with my live in boyfriend. I found out in March that my ovarian cancer is back after 5 & 1/2 years. So now, aim single again, have no ovaries but frozen eggs & tissue, and I'm going through chemo again.

All I'd like to be doing is dating and finding a new partner. I tried a free online dating site. Most of the guys stopped messaging me when I told them about the cancer. I actually met one guy who after seeing each other everyday for like a week just checks out. Said I was bringing him down. Non cancer people definitely don't get it. It's part of the reason I split with my ex. He never understood the fear each time I for my blood work.

There is a online dating site for cancer survivors/ currently being treated, cisforcupid.com, but it's down for updates. If someone knows anywhere to met other single cancer people please post.

Shi145
Posts: 4
Joined: May 2011

I totally understand where your coming from. I am 35 and this feb I split with my live in boyfriend. I found out in March that my ovarian cancer is back after 5 & 1/2 years. So now, aim single again, have no ovaries but frozen eggs & tissue, and I'm going through chemo again.

All I'd like to be doing is dating and finding a new partner. I tried a free online dating site. Most of the guys stopped messaging me when I told them about the cancer. I actually met one guy who after seeing each other everyday for like a week just checks out. Said I was bringing him down. Non cancer people definitely don't get it. It's part of the reason I split with my ex. He never understood the fear each time I for my blood work.

There is a online dating site for cancer survivors/ currently being treated, cisforcupid.com, but it's down for updates. If someone knows anywhere to met other single cancer people please post.

Shi145
Posts: 4
Joined: May 2011

I totally understand where your coming from. I am 35 and this feb I split with my live in boyfriend. I found out in March that my ovarian cancer is back after 5 & 1/2 years. So now, aim single again, have no ovaries but frozen eggs & tissue, and I'm going through chemo again.

All I'd like to be doing is dating and finding a new partner. I tried a free online dating site. Most of the guys stopped messaging me when I told them about the cancer. I actually met one guy who after seeing each other everyday for like a week just checks out. Said I was bringing him down. Non cancer people definitely don't get it. It's part of the reason I split with my ex. He never understood the fear each time I for my blood work.

There is a online dating site for cancer survivors/ currently being treated, cisforcupid.com, but it's down for updates. If someone knows anywhere to met other single cancer people please post.

Shi145
Posts: 4
Joined: May 2011

I totally understand where your coming from. I am 35 and this feb I split with my live in boyfriend. I found out in March that my ovarian cancer is back after 5 & 1/2 years. So now, aim single again, have no ovaries but frozen eggs & tissue, and I'm going through chemo again.

All I'd like to be doing is dating and finding a new partner. I tried a free online dating site. Most of the guys stopped messaging me when I told them about the cancer. I actually met one guy who after seeing each other everyday for like a week just checks out. Said I was bringing him down. Non cancer people definitely don't get it. It's part of the reason I split with my ex. He never understood the fear each time I for my blood work.

There is a online dating site for cancer survivors/ currently being treated, cisforcupid.com, but it's down for updates. If someone knows anywhere to met other single cancer people please post.

johnrainsd's picture
johnrainsd
Posts: 2
Joined: Apr 2011

Did you try okcupid.com? I know that there are quite few ladies to meet there. Unfortunately, there is no one in my area 57701 zipcode.
I have experienced once to be ditched with cancer mentioned. It did not feel right. I understand their point of view to see us. So, I am looking forward to meet new friends at a local Relay for Life.

kkishore
Posts: 1
Joined: Sep 2011

hello mam my self kishore ,iam ready to have days with u ..........if u wish i am ready to look after u , if ur really want me to come there , we can live together , i don't u to let this down . for the other contact my number +918143718471 , i am 25 years old , male

MTCMLE
Posts: 1
Joined: Mar 2012

I'm new to this site and was interested in this thread, so maybe I can re-start it. The three-year relationship I was in after that ended when I got thyroid cancer. I'm just starting to date again, but so far the one guy I really liked was scared off my cancer history (incidentally, they got all of it, and I'm fine now, just have a scar that's still healing). The whole thing is so depressing. C is for Cancer appears to still be down. I guess it's not in service anymore. Where else can I go to meet other survivors my age?

mattav
Posts: 2
Joined: Apr 2012

I am 42 and was diagnosed 6 months ago with bc when I was 41. So, to me 37 or 42 is still young. My husband was there for me, but while I was doing my radiation treatment, he turned weird, acting jealous, like I was doing something with someone. Meanwhile, I worked as close to 40 hours a week while driving myself to the hospital 5 days a week to have my treatments. It was so stressful to me. I tried to put on that fake front that I was ok, but I really wasn't. I was tired and sad every day. He is still acting wierd. I have a feeling things aren't going to last. Too many things happening at once. & I think our financial cituation now will be our downfall.
Thank you for having this site to let me get out what I am feeling. Don't know how things will be, but I pray that since I beat bc, I can do anything.

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