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Has anyone ever had deep depression after treatment

teresamc
Posts: 5
Joined: Jan 2008

I have had deep depression since my cancer diagnosis and treatment 4 years ago. I feel like I shouldn't be here. At first I felt like life was a gift, but now my husband has deserted me, he said "you'd be sick whether you were with me or not" I will have a lifetime of follow ups and treatment. I now wish I hadn't survived so that I wouldn't have seen this. We were fine before my cancer, now our family is destroyed.

zinniemay's picture
zinniemay
Posts: 534
Joined: Mar 2009

Don't say that! You are lucky, it is not you it was him he could not deal with it. You have done a great job. Don't blame yourself for him leaving, sounds to me as if he might be the weak one. So dust yourself off and think about what is important! That is you. I know my husband has had depression, He wanted to just end it. So I think everyone has these moments. Please call a friend go out and laugh and cry with someone . You came to far to let someone make you feel like that sad.
If you need I will listen!

gptm
Posts: 11
Joined: Jul 2010

Thank you I needed you to tell me not to say that, a good swift kick. You are right I am lucky and my daughters are lucky. He is weak if he left, only a strong man with substance would stay.

Thank you.

Teresa

zinniemay's picture
zinniemay
Posts: 534
Joined: Mar 2009

I think he made you feel used and when you were down he kicked you, but I read in your post a strong woman who has allot more going on for her than she thinks.
I always say you can have 100 people smile at you and be happy then a mean person will say or do something. We will focus on that one mean person rather than see all the good ones around.
You have a chance to find new things about yourself . I think you will do good. Focus on the positive, not more putting down the toliet seat! You can have your pick of the side of the bed, heck take the whole bed. There are so much more to think about you have children who will and do love you, new friends you have yet to met.
Sounds like your trash got picked up (walked out)and carried out for you! ( that was meant ina good way) Humor.

tommybear
Posts: 112
Joined: Oct 2009

I saw that you posted that on your profile...it means a lot, even if we don't feel that strength right this minute.

My husband left me right before my diagnosis. So, I had to try to handle it on my own, with my two kids. Yes, I did have my immediate family, like my parents and my sister, but did feel very lonely at times. So, I know what it is like to be hurting and to be down. I actually have suffered from depression for many years and think that some of it is probably due to my brain tumor. My ex had told me that one of the reasons he left was because of the depression and I questioned the whole "in sickness and in health" thing. I'm not sure what I am trying to say, except that I understand. I suffer each day and have had the same feelings.

I know that I don't have to have someone love me in order to be worth being loved. I just try to make it through each day. I just try to make it through each day or each hour if I have to. My mom has always said to me to ask God for "peace that passeth understanding".I am not a religious person, but have found that looking for that peace has helped me.

You came to a good place. This website is wonderful and I have learned much from all of the survivors on here.

Please take care, wishing you peace....

Michele S.

gptm
Posts: 11
Joined: Jul 2010

I cried when I read your post. Why do people leave people when they most need them? I am so sorry this happened to you. I like what your mom says to ask God for "peace that passeth understanding", that is nice. She must be so calm!

I have my daughters, Mom, brother other extended family. There is this hole where my husband was. I wish he would come home, I don't know what to do.

They say not to be stressed after cancer, kind of hard with this.

If it weren't so real and sad it would make one lifetime movie wouldn't it. Only I would be like, no way would he leave her now, this is so dumb I'm not watching this.

Thank you,

Teresa

tiny one
Posts: 467
Joined: Jan 2009

Depression hit me after I had an ileostomy reversal. I am a 3 year colon cancer survivor. I am on Prozac, it has given me my life back. I to will need follow ups, but remember you are the one in charge, not your Doctors and not cancer. I focus each day on doing what I love to do and helping others, not on the what ifs. If your husband deserted you, he took the cowards way out. You can rebuild your life, it can be far better than the old one. Live each day to it's fullest, focus on what you love to do. If you can travel, do so. Spend time with people you love. Find a good support group. The one I go to they have become like a second family to me.

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