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A daughter looking for helps

lovelifeforever
Posts: 11
Joined: Jun 2010

My mom was diagnosed with Spindle cell Sarcoma in the upper part of her left lung on Dec 2009 and had a surgery to remove the whloe left part on feb 2010. 3 months after her surgery she had her first CT scan and the result shows that there are new lesions appeared on her right lung and pancreas. The doc suggested for the chemo treament but he is not sure if it works. I am so worry about this agreesive treament and the side effect for my mom's body. She is 50 years old and I dont know whether her body can affort that. The worse thing is that recently my mom's right hand began to inflexible and it comes right now all fingers of her right hand can not move at all. So we did MR this week and the result shows the tumor has spreaded to her brain. The doctor now sugguests to the radiotherapy for the brain tumor.

All my families against to any chem or radio treaments right now. They dont want my mom suffer any pain anymore. But as a daughter, I dont want to give up, i want to do anything i can to help my mom. So i am here asking for any of your suggestions and recommend treaments.

Looking forward to any helps and resources. You can also contact me by ven_622@hotmail.com

Good luck to you all.

abrub's picture
abrub
Posts: 1531
Joined: Mar 2010

If the doctors agree that treatment is probably futile, then I would recommend doing everything to ensure that your mom is comfortable, and not pursuing chemo or radiation.

Having been through some horrendous treatments, I've learned that there are fates worse than death. Yes, I'm doing very well now, but if there hadn't been a great likelihood of success from the treatments, then doing them just to prolong my life wouldn't have been worth it.

I know that this isn't what you want to hear, but from someone who has been through hell in chemo treatment, I know how painful it is. You are probably about the age of my kids, and I know that I'm glad I'm here for them, and that they want me here indefinitely. However, my family understands that if/when the cancer comes back, and is likely untreatable, my choice is to be made comfortable.

Is your mother able to express preferences? Do you know if she wants every effort made to survive? Don't answer for her, her choices may not be the same as yours. I know that I thought I'd want every effort made to keep me alive; I no longer feel that way.

You're in a very difficult situation - please discuss thoroughly with your family and your mom's drs the options and decisions made. Please don't hang on to her because you're afraid to let go, but support her in her life.

Wishing you strength,

lovelifeforever
Posts: 11
Joined: Jun 2010

Thank you very much for your advices. I really appreciate that. Indeed, we are being through a very tough situation. We are making very difficult choices. My mom has a very strong fath right now, she know what happens to her and she is making choices for herself now. She decide to try both chemo and radio treatment which the dor also recommends. My father and I worry a lot for these agreesive treatments but at the same time we can not just let go. So we both agree to repect my mom's choice now.

We have 47% chances to win this battle( according to the dor), we hope we can win finally. The dor also recommend us to use Avasin along with the chemo treatment, this will increase the success rate. I only know that Avasin is very new and expensive, i can not find much information from net. So i will appreciate if you or anyone has suggestions or can share experences of this kind of treatment.

Thank you again Abrub. wish you good luck.

abrub's picture
abrub
Posts: 1531
Joined: Mar 2010

Avastin stops the blood supply to the tumors, and can be very helpful. Side effects are minimal.

I'm glad that the drs feel that there is hope and benefit to treatments, and also that your mother is going into this with an open mind. Treatment is aggressive, and is unpleasant (to say the least). However, your mother's faith will help her through.

I wish her a wonderful outcome, and I send you big hugs. I know how hard it is to watch your mother go through all of this, and as a mother, I appreciate what I and my decisions have meant to my children.

Hug yourself. Hug your father. Hug your mother. And continue with your head held high.

lovelifeforever
Posts: 11
Joined: Jun 2010

Thank you very much Abrub. Your encouragement means a lot to me. You are a great and brave mother. I wish u and your families all the bests.

Do you have the similar tumor as my mom or urs more common? How many treatments of Avastin have u had?

Yes, u r right. I ve been through a lot recently and i ve grown a lot too. I have made my mind to be brave and optimistic to be with my mom.

I will hug my parents and I wanna give u a big hug too. All the bests.

abrub's picture
abrub
Posts: 1531
Joined: Mar 2010

I had Appendix Cancer (Stage 4) - also extremely rare (maybe 300 cases in the US/year).

I am done with my chemo and treatments at this point. I was scheduled for 12 Avastin/Folfox treatments, but got through only 7 - my side effects from the Folfox were unbearable, and they didn't feel that Avastin alone was worthwhile in my case. Appendix cancer tumors don't have much of a direct oxygen supply. The rule of thumb was to give the chemo for stage 4 colon cancer, since appendix cancer, while very different, falls under the colo-rectal umbrella.

You are a wonderful daughter. This is a heavy burden, and not easy to deal with. Continue to be supportive of your mother, just remembering that she wants to make the decisions that are the best for everyone.

Sending you a big hug,

Alice

lovelifeforever
Posts: 11
Joined: Jun 2010

Thank you again for your sharing Alice. You are giving me encouragements days by days. I am so thankful and I will spread your love.

We will keep brave and strong and smile to our life. I sincere hope that you can beat your disease and smile to your families everyday. I am sure your children will be proud of you.

Here is my email ven_622@hotmail.com I hope we can keep in touch and let me know that you are doing fine from time to time.

Best wishes,
Liz

abrub's picture
abrub
Posts: 1531
Joined: Mar 2010

Dear Liz,

Thank you for your concern. I am very fortunate in that the drs think I may be done with my cancer, even tho I couldn't finish treatments. I feel good, and have been living a more "normal" life again, tho I just had surgery for some post-op repairs, and a chance for my dr to look around, and reassure me that he sees no more cancer.

I am proud of my children, and they are proud of me. They understand a bit of what I've been through.

Continue to take care of yourself - it's the best thing you can do for your mother. It shows her that she has done a good job raising you to be a fine adult. Knowing our children can be independent is a great joy to mothers - we know we've done something very right!

And I'll keep you posted on how I'm doing. I've reached the point of annual scans.

All the best,
Alice

lovelifeforever
Posts: 11
Joined: Jun 2010

So glad to hear that you are doing fine and I belive you would have a good health since then.

You are a strong mother, and I really appreciate that I can have a chace to know you.

All the bests to you,
Liz

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