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One Giant Step...

bingles
Posts: 120
Joined: Mar 2010

Well I am about to take the first real step in the moving on process....yesterday I became employed....first time in almost two years...when I stopped working we had hopes of enjoying the golden years together...and well that just didn't happen...my first day is this coming Friday
I took a position doing acutal patient care..something I have not done in over 5 years....I know its going to be physically taxing on me until I get used to it...but I am so excited to actually now have a purpose and direction for each day....I took it because I know I can help people and that will help me start a new thought process....
Yesterday was rough....going to the interview...going shopping to buy uniforms....and than coming home to an empty house...those are the times when missing Bill become huge..he was my cheerleader....but I know that he is pleased as punch that I am doing this...he knows that I will really be ok...but looming on me is that first day of work...coming home....he won't be here to share the day with...guessing I will be talking to him alot that day.
I am also having our kitchen redone....it needs it...we just never got around to it...and well I think it will help in my rejoing life...something new and different...
I worry though that I am moving on too quickly...its just that I truly didn't want to linger in the land of grief and sorrow....that is so not how Bill thought about things...he was all about just being content and at peace...and I am trying so hard to live up to that way of thinking...
I have to have trust in myself....and know that I am doing the right thing....its all I can do...life is waiting for me and I have to reach out and grab it...for him and his memory.
Pat

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1625
Joined: Aug 2009

Congratulations and best wishes on your new job. You will do great. You will never know if the time is right unless you try. I am sure that you are bringing new compassion to your work. Your patients will benefit from that. Let us know how things go. Fay

closs86
Posts: 85
Joined: Apr 2010

Hi Pat,
Congratulations on your new job, I think it is a wonderful idea, it will keep you busy and you are helping people, It will take a little getting used to, you will probably be a little tired in the beginning, and the new kitchen good for you, if you can do it, do it, it will keep you going, something else to think about besides missing out guys. that will always be there.
Take care and good luck
Karen

bingles
Posts: 120
Joined: Mar 2010

Yesterday was a wonderful day....one of the grand-sons graduated from high school...the ceremony was beautiful.....I will admit to being a little bit in a funk though...Bill kept popping into my thoughts...and I missed him....but I kept my focus on the grand-son...it was his day....and he needed to be the focal point.
Met up with some other family members afterwards and went out for a nice dinner....yet another example of time marching on...
I am anxious about today...but I will get though it..just need to put one foot in front of another and keep building my new "normal"....
Thank-you for your words of support.
Pat

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