Hi everyone, surprise surprise I have a new question...
And will I also be given the choice to remove the "sick" boob or will I be told we need to take both of them off? If it turns out my left breast isn't cancerous then should I have them take it off anyway just so I might give myself a chance at never having this crud again?
Does the confusion and all this stress and fear ever go away?
Thanks again ladies, Ronda
Comments
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it gets better
Ronda, yes, the fear will subside. You will be given information and you make the final decision on your treatment. Read as much as you can now....and a lot can be learned from this board. Frankly, I learned more reading these posts than I was told by drs. My surgeon was not so forthcoming in info...the oncologist more so. However, even though I knew the decisions were mine...I asked for his opinion since he has the education on this. I chose to have masectomy as recommended by the oncologist.
Getting back to your question...I was so scared and in shock in the beginning..... like a deer in the headligts! But, now I have more information and understand better what is going on and look forward to just getting through the next steps of this detour to my life.
Good luck.... remember, read and learn, and ASK questions of your drs. Then you can be guided and also make a good decision for yourself.
Good luck0 -
Hi cavedivercavediver said:it gets better
Ronda, yes, the fear will subside. You will be given information and you make the final decision on your treatment. Read as much as you can now....and a lot can be learned from this board. Frankly, I learned more reading these posts than I was told by drs. My surgeon was not so forthcoming in info...the oncologist more so. However, even though I knew the decisions were mine...I asked for his opinion since he has the education on this. I chose to have masectomy as recommended by the oncologist.
Getting back to your question...I was so scared and in shock in the beginning..... like a deer in the headligts! But, now I have more information and understand better what is going on and look forward to just getting through the next steps of this detour to my life.
Good luck.... remember, read and learn, and ASK questions of your drs. Then you can be guided and also make a good decision for yourself.
Good luck
Good lord I have another question also, if I end up doing a mastectomy, whether it be a single one or a double, how soon do you get the new boobs, is it right away or many months later after all your chemo crud is done? Do you need time to heal up just to be cut open again? ewwwwwwwwww
Oh shoot I'm sorry for not even saying Thank you for answering me, I'm just so scared and frustrated and really have no one to talk to but a husband who's probably getting sick of hearing all this. So Thanks cavediver, I appreciate the help.0 -
We're all unique!
You and your Drs will decide your treatments. None of us can tell you what you'll be told by your Drs. - we can only tell you what our individual/personal treatments were/are.
I was told by all my Drs that reconstruction should not be considered for at least 9 - 12 months. That the rads would negatively affect any reconstruction. I got really burned bad so I'm real glad that nothing had been done reconstruction-wise.
For me, it was chemo (A/C), mod.rad. mastectomy, more chemo (weekly Taxol), then 25 rads and now Femara - but that's not appropriate for all. There are different types of breast cancer and the protocol for treatment is not the same with all.
Read all the info you can find and ask all the questions you have but remember that there is no one corrrect answer for all.
Susan0 -
I'm impressed that you know what to ask.
I was told by my surgeon that I needed a mastectomy because when the lumpectomy was done, there were no clear margins. I wish I had waited and asked more questions because as it turned out there was no more cancer in my breast. The lymph nodes were removed as part of the mastectomy and only then did they know what stage my cancer was. I would like to have had my healthy breast removed also rather than have to go through this mess again but my insurance didn't consider it medically necessary so I only had the right one removed. Your insurance may also be the deciding factor in having your healty breast removed. If I could go back to the beginning of my diagnosis with the info I have now and make different decisions, I would but obviously I can't do that so I will just move forward. I didn't find this discussion board until after my mastectomy. I think you will get a lot of information from these wonderful people and you can take comfort in knowing that they are speaking from experience and from their hearts. Good luck in this "life-changing" journey you have been forced to take. Keep asking questions!0 -
Good luckjamiegww said:I'm impressed that you know what to ask.
I was told by my surgeon that I needed a mastectomy because when the lumpectomy was done, there were no clear margins. I wish I had waited and asked more questions because as it turned out there was no more cancer in my breast. The lymph nodes were removed as part of the mastectomy and only then did they know what stage my cancer was. I would like to have had my healthy breast removed also rather than have to go through this mess again but my insurance didn't consider it medically necessary so I only had the right one removed. Your insurance may also be the deciding factor in having your healty breast removed. If I could go back to the beginning of my diagnosis with the info I have now and make different decisions, I would but obviously I can't do that so I will just move forward. I didn't find this discussion board until after my mastectomy. I think you will get a lot of information from these wonderful people and you can take comfort in knowing that they are speaking from experience and from their hearts. Good luck in this "life-changing" journey you have been forced to take. Keep asking questions!
Good luck in the many decisions you will have to make. Drs will no doubt give you options and you will make the final decision. Don't rush into a decision..think it through and do your research. Not for everyone obviously, but in many cases it has been shown that life expectancy is the same whether you have a mastectomy or lumpectomy...but again that is a very personal decision. I think, you will find that once you have made that decision, you will feel more at ease...then just go with the flow and don't worry about the procedure decisions anymore.
Take care...all this will be past history soon.0 -
My oncologist went over mycavediver said:it gets better
Ronda, yes, the fear will subside. You will be given information and you make the final decision on your treatment. Read as much as you can now....and a lot can be learned from this board. Frankly, I learned more reading these posts than I was told by drs. My surgeon was not so forthcoming in info...the oncologist more so. However, even though I knew the decisions were mine...I asked for his opinion since he has the education on this. I chose to have masectomy as recommended by the oncologist.
Getting back to your question...I was so scared and in shock in the beginning..... like a deer in the headligts! But, now I have more information and understand better what is going on and look forward to just getting through the next steps of this detour to my life.
Good luck.... remember, read and learn, and ASK questions of your drs. Then you can be guided and also make a good decision for yourself.
Good luck
My oncologist went over my treatment plan prior to surgery, or, what she thought it would be according to my core biopsy. The final treatment plan is only done AFTER your surgery. Mine didn't change. I had a lumpectomy, followed by radiation treatments. Be sure and ask your oncologist of any questions you have. Have everything explained to you, the treatments and your choices. Good luck!0 -
When I was Dx a year agosausageroll said:Good luck
Good luck in the many decisions you will have to make. Drs will no doubt give you options and you will make the final decision. Don't rush into a decision..think it through and do your research. Not for everyone obviously, but in many cases it has been shown that life expectancy is the same whether you have a mastectomy or lumpectomy...but again that is a very personal decision. I think, you will find that once you have made that decision, you will feel more at ease...then just go with the flow and don't worry about the procedure decisions anymore.
Take care...all this will be past history soon.
When I was Dx a year ago April. I sat down at my computer and I wrote down questions for every doctor I was about to see. Like surgeon, Onc, Rads ect... Then I handed my questions to the doctor who then answered them one by one. I also had not only my husband with me, but a good friend. There will be some much information it will make your head spin and you won't know anything when you walk out of the office. So my friend took notes on most everything the doctors talked about.The beginning of the journey was the hardest part for me. The unknown the waiting and waiting for test results. I had a lumpectomy with 22 nodes removed. My doctor would have taken the boob if I wanted her to, but she told me that with my cancer I could do the lumpectomy and have the same results, so thats what I did. Hang in there, it does get a little better over time.0 -
Hi Ronda,
I had cancer only
Hi Ronda,
I had cancer only on the left side bit opted for both breasts removed. My mother never had that choice and had to go thru the whole thing again years later, my maternal aunt went with a double mastectomy. I knew if I ever had BC, I would want a bilateral and my insurance agreed with my choice. I know my family history made that decision a must for me and your situation may be different. I think the main thing to do is look at your options and once the choice is made, relax and go with it.
Good luck on this roller coaster journey.
Brenda0 -
Hi Ronda,
I had cancer only
Hi Ronda,
I had cancer only on the left side bit opted for both breasts removed. My mother never had that choice and had to go thru the whole thing again years later, my maternal aunt went with a double mastectomy. I knew if I ever had BC, I would want a bilateral and my insurance agreed with my choice. I know my family history made that decision a must for me and your situation may be different. I think the main thing to do is look at your options and once the choice is made, relax and go with it.
Good luck on this roller coaster journey.
Brenda0 -
You ladies are so fearless...Third_Generation said:Hi Ronda,
I had cancer only
Hi Ronda,
I had cancer only on the left side bit opted for both breasts removed. My mother never had that choice and had to go thru the whole thing again years later, my maternal aunt went with a double mastectomy. I knew if I ever had BC, I would want a bilateral and my insurance agreed with my choice. I know my family history made that decision a must for me and your situation may be different. I think the main thing to do is look at your options and once the choice is made, relax and go with it.
Good luck on this roller coaster journey.
Brenda
I want to thank each and every one of you but believe me when I say I can't remember all your names, I know that will all change once I'm here more and more, truthfully I wish I had never heard of this place. I want my life back, the one I had just 17 days ago, guess that's a long ways away.
It's the nights that are the worst, it's dark, no one to talk to, and there I lay scared of the unknown. I want this to all be over with, this day to day stuff is too long and dragged out. uuugghhh
My appointment with the surgeon isn't until the 10th, I'll be prepared. Thanks again0 -
We were and still are2Floridiansisters said:You ladies are so fearless...
I want to thank each and every one of you but believe me when I say I can't remember all your names, I know that will all change once I'm here more and more, truthfully I wish I had never heard of this place. I want my life back, the one I had just 17 days ago, guess that's a long ways away.
It's the nights that are the worst, it's dark, no one to talk to, and there I lay scared of the unknown. I want this to all be over with, this day to day stuff is too long and dragged out. uuugghhh
My appointment with the surgeon isn't until the 10th, I'll be prepared. Thanks again
We were and still are scared. You are not alone either. We are your bc pink sisters, so, ask any and all questions that you have. Someone will always be able to reply to you in some way. Your treatment will be decided on by you. You will be given options, choices and recommendation by your team of doctors. Good luck to you!0 -
don't be scared2Floridiansisters said:Hi cavediver
Good lord I have another question also, if I end up doing a mastectomy, whether it be a single one or a double, how soon do you get the new boobs, is it right away or many months later after all your chemo crud is done? Do you need time to heal up just to be cut open again? ewwwwwwwwww
Oh shoot I'm sorry for not even saying Thank you for answering me, I'm just so scared and frustrated and really have no one to talk to but a husband who's probably getting sick of hearing all this. So Thanks cavediver, I appreciate the help.
well, as you now know, I just had a single mastectomy last week. But, I can very much remember being in shock with the diagnosis and scared..... could not even talk to family...in fact waited weeks prior to telling brother and had to do that in print as I could not talk without crying. I too kept thinking I will go to an appointment with the oncologist and he will say it was all a big mistake, or that it is gone and no problem. When I did the first MRI and PET Scan, I was so scared I had no problem with them. But the 2nd MRI I was getting panicky. At some point, after reading many posts on this board, I became less scared and learned more. Also, decided so many women had gotten through this.... then I held on to the idea that they were just cutting off flesh, not an arm or leg...so I should be grateful and can overcome this. But what I want to tell you is that one day you will be less scared...and more ready for the fight of your life.
Whaterver you and your doctors decide for you will be right for you..........just think of this as a 'tope' in life...a little detour.... all I can tell you is the more you know the less frightened you become. You will find the best support on this board. Husbands try hard but I think don't get it........ hang in there!0 -
your question2Floridiansisters said:Hi cavediver
Good lord I have another question also, if I end up doing a mastectomy, whether it be a single one or a double, how soon do you get the new boobs, is it right away or many months later after all your chemo crud is done? Do you need time to heal up just to be cut open again? ewwwwwwwwww
Oh shoot I'm sorry for not even saying Thank you for answering me, I'm just so scared and frustrated and really have no one to talk to but a husband who's probably getting sick of hearing all this. So Thanks cavediver, I appreciate the help.
sorry, forgot to reply to your question! I decided on not to do reconstruction at time of mastectomy. this was also suggested by the surgeons. I had Stage 3 in one breast. When I left hosptial they gave me a surgical bra thing with puffy....no way did I wish to put that on...I was way too sore. wore loose button down blouse. Still cannot imagine putting on anything yet. I would think I will wait quite a few weeks before even considering getting fitted for prothesis and bras.........I am still swollen under the arm and sore all over. But like you have read over and over, we are all different! take care...and the scarey part will pass and for me the preocupation with the bras etc passed as well, and the fight for my life mode took over. Now I am ready to do what it takes to get my life back!0 -
Something else to consider
Some women here have had insurance problems when they opt for the double masectamy when the single is the only one required. Some women also opt for the masectamy when told that they could have a lumpectamy. You may get to make some choices, but some may be out of your hands.0 -
WowHubby said:Something else to consider
Some women here have had insurance problems when they opt for the double masectamy when the single is the only one required. Some women also opt for the masectamy when told that they could have a lumpectamy. You may get to make some choices, but some may be out of your hands.
I had one breast removed at a time since had stage 3 IDC breast cancer. The surgeon and my mother the nurse both advised me to do one at a time since so hard on body. Treatments were done and then I continued to get more tumors that were all benign but still had the second breast removed because I couldn't go through any more lumps. I guess they wanted to see what would happen and still was a dear caught in head lights going through all of it.
WE are all different and must remember that as so many others have said.
One must find ways to calm the mind and find a way to resign ourselves to what truly is.
We all hope/hoped things to be different and often prayed for the strength but worry and wonder is a form of stress that we must minimize or that too has an affect on us and our HOPE.
I never had reconstruction because I couldn't imagine going through any more than I had to.
I am so glad for making the decisions I did because I am still here 14 years later.
Tara0 -
You really need to call yourHubby said:Something else to consider
Some women here have had insurance problems when they opt for the double masectamy when the single is the only one required. Some women also opt for the masectamy when told that they could have a lumpectamy. You may get to make some choices, but some may be out of your hands.
You really need to call your insurance provider about every test, surgery and treatment that you have to be sure they will cover it. Some just assume they will, and, some don't cover everything.0 -
You've no doubt read all the
You've no doubt read all the good advice on here from so many knowing friends, Ronda. We hate to see someone new join us because it means she is going through hell, but we know it's a good source of information. I read as many books as I could to get more information, even before I knew that the microcalcifications on the mammogram were cancer for sure. But that weak effort to have some control over what was happening on the beginning of the roller coaster ride really didn't ease my fears (didn't make them worse, either).
Now, I'm a keep-it-natural kind of person and hesitate to take even vitamins or aspirin. But when I was offered a pill to keep the anxiety at bay and allow some decent sleep, I broke down and took it. Best thing I ever did. By that time, I had screwed up my immune system so bad with anxiety and lack of sleep that I had a horrible upper respiratory infection (thankfully that didn't delay my surgery) that was viral, and had another virus acquired 40 years before in my college days (hpv) reappear! You do NOT need to mess up your immune system right now; you need it at its maximum performance!
So, please consider asking for some anti-anxiety help now, before your next doc's appointment. The prolonged fear upsets everything (remember flight or fight response from psych 101?) It WILL get better as your decisions about treatment are settled, whatever they may be. Keep talking things out with other cancer veterans. I'm hoping for the very best for you, Ronda.
~~Connie~~0 -
Oh yes yes yes I have insurance dear friends!crselby said:You've no doubt read all the
You've no doubt read all the good advice on here from so many knowing friends, Ronda. We hate to see someone new join us because it means she is going through hell, but we know it's a good source of information. I read as many books as I could to get more information, even before I knew that the microcalcifications on the mammogram were cancer for sure. But that weak effort to have some control over what was happening on the beginning of the roller coaster ride really didn't ease my fears (didn't make them worse, either).
Now, I'm a keep-it-natural kind of person and hesitate to take even vitamins or aspirin. But when I was offered a pill to keep the anxiety at bay and allow some decent sleep, I broke down and took it. Best thing I ever did. By that time, I had screwed up my immune system so bad with anxiety and lack of sleep that I had a horrible upper respiratory infection (thankfully that didn't delay my surgery) that was viral, and had another virus acquired 40 years before in my college days (hpv) reappear! You do NOT need to mess up your immune system right now; you need it at its maximum performance!
So, please consider asking for some anti-anxiety help now, before your next doc's appointment. The prolonged fear upsets everything (remember flight or fight response from psych 101?) It WILL get better as your decisions about treatment are settled, whatever they may be. Keep talking things out with other cancer veterans. I'm hoping for the very best for you, Ronda.
~~Connie~~
My husband is active duty military and we have TriCare Prime and I've already been told they will cover the cost for all of it. YAY!!!!! One less thing to worry about. They already made me an appointment to meet up with the oncologist and I'm certain I will be given all the care and treatments this ole girl needs. So no I have no financial worries, it's all the surgery and the radiation or chemo that scares me to death. They even said they will give me the test BRCA1 to see if I have that gene, because of my sister dying from this, the reason they are doing it is because there's 2 more sisters in the family.
It's scary and then you feel calm, then the fear again, but what I need now is for that feeling of peace to envelope me so I can live with my decision. That's where I'm having difficulty. What to do, what to do, just waiting on the MRI for now, getting it at 9am tomorrow morning.
So I pray they find no cancer in my opposite breast, does anyone know how long the results for the MRI take, I'm not having it done at a military hospital, they are sending me out in town to Sacred Heart.0 -
Connie is right...2Floridiansisters said:Oh yes yes yes I have insurance dear friends!
My husband is active duty military and we have TriCare Prime and I've already been told they will cover the cost for all of it. YAY!!!!! One less thing to worry about. They already made me an appointment to meet up with the oncologist and I'm certain I will be given all the care and treatments this ole girl needs. So no I have no financial worries, it's all the surgery and the radiation or chemo that scares me to death. They even said they will give me the test BRCA1 to see if I have that gene, because of my sister dying from this, the reason they are doing it is because there's 2 more sisters in the family.
It's scary and then you feel calm, then the fear again, but what I need now is for that feeling of peace to envelope me so I can live with my decision. That's where I'm having difficulty. What to do, what to do, just waiting on the MRI for now, getting it at 9am tomorrow morning.
So I pray they find no cancer in my opposite breast, does anyone know how long the results for the MRI take, I'm not having it done at a military hospital, they are sending me out in town to Sacred Heart.
I found my "calm" in two things: First was knowledge and info, I loved the Mayo Clinic website and Second: Ativan. That is an anti-anxiety drug and I took them twice a day from the day I found the lump on June 4, 2009 until approx. 5 or 6 weeks after my last chemo 12-11-2009. One during the day and it kept me focused and not climbing the walls and at nite so I could get a good nites sleep. During chemo they aare also good for nausea, you put it under your tongue and let it disolve and it reacts quicker.
The worry and fear you have right now is horrible, the not knowing. I think it's easier once all the tests and pathologies are in, surgery over and you finally know what you are dealing with and then can begin the fight. Your decision will come with knowlege of your stage, what the treatment options are and what it means. I was very comfortable with my decision and I have great surgeon and onc who helped me make it.
I hope your answers come quickly and your MRI is over quickly. Please let us know how you make out.
Hugs, Judy :-)0
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