May 23, 2010 - 2:38 am
Now that the cancer is gone you healed up from the surgery the family members that came from out of town are packing to go home. Now it is time to deal with the aftermath of what just happen to you. Now what do you do when you really see the scars and missing parts. You know that they said you are cancer free come back for your check up in three months and you cry with happiness and you rejoice with your family and friends but how do you deal with that silent question "what if" it comes back? Right now I feel great and a sence of sadness, worry and every other emotion i dont know how to explain. I sleep alot right now. My body is a little sore but it is getting better. It is the aftermath that I dont know how to deal with. The scars and the fact that I had cancer when did my life take that turn. When did I get cancer such a ugly word. I had cancer, how? I had cancer, what? I am a survior yes I am. I know that but I am still scared about the fact that I had cancer. I'm steal trying to deal with the aftermath. This thing came in my life like a storm took my life and turned everything upside down. Now I am standing in the aftermath. My life stood still in those moments and now I realize as I stood steal everything around me didn't. How do you deal with that.