I am having some inner battles....more time that goes by..more things need doing around the house..each thing brings memories...which is understandable.
My problem is that I am finding...that I am trying to do things the way Bill did them..you know...simple household chores....but I am finding that I am doing things different only because its easier for me....but it bothers me...its not the way HE did it.
I feel like each thing I do different is lessening Bill's presence in the house.
I have also done quite a bit of heavy cleaning out of necessity....while he was sick I did very little....so curtains needed changing....new blinds and such...and each thing I do makes me sad.....I feel like I am losing him and his essence.
I know he would love the things I am doing because he was the neat freak....but each day leaves less and less of him in the house.
I know I am being wacky..guessing its part of the process.
Good news is that I remain smoke free....its really been a breeze after going though the disease with Bill and I am cautiously optimistic for total success.
The garden is in...even got carried away and pulled out some dying azalea bushes and planted some new bigger plants....I am getting to enjoy it...lets see when the thing needs weeding!