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Oh now this is something new....

bingles
Posts: 120
Joined: Mar 2010

This morning I literally woke up and started to cry....for not apparent reason...I had just woken up and truthfully there was not a thought in my head.
Maybe still swirling around from yesterday...don't know.
Truth be told there is another huge factor at work here...three days ago I quit smoking....it made no sense to keep smoking after losing my Best Friend to lung cancer....so in his honor I quit.
Oh well maybe its that...don't know...but looking at a day that started with tears is bleak at best.
Blessings....
Pat

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1613
Joined: Aug 2009

Crying really does go with the territory. You never know what might set it off. Something big, something small, or even nothing. I'm proud of you for trying to quit smoking. You are right that it doesn't make sense to continue after seeing what it can do to the body. That doesn't make it any easier, though. Quitting is really, really hard. Hang in there, Fay

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1613
Joined: Aug 2009

Double post, sorry

halsons's picture
halsons
Posts: 76
Joined: Apr 2010

This is something I have a very hard time with. I hate to cry when anyone is around and have always thought of crying being somewhat weak. After I lost my husband Sonny I have changed my mind on the whole weak thing. I still hate crying in front of people but do very often lately. I start to cry when I talk with the psychologist regarding my 17 year old son who is in counseling. It makes me hurt just to see him so upset during the sessions. Now I have to set up appointments for my 10 year old who is having the hardest time with her dad leaving us. I took her to the doctor today and she kept crying telling me she was dying like her dad did. My daughter had strep throat and both ear infections. When I told the doctor about my husband dying three months ago from esophigeal cancer and that my daughter was thinking she was going to die also from the same thing he kind of laughed and said to her well you can eat so you don't have the same thing. I was so mad I am thinking about making a complaint about the way he treated her. All I wanted him to say was to give her that reassurance she wasn't going to and that with antibiotics she would be fine. I had to reassure her after the doctor left and told the nurse afterwards that I was upset the way he talked with her. She agreed that he didn't help her feel at all better about being sick. Man I wish these doctors would have some caring bedside mannors especially peditricians. Oh back to the crying, I do the same thing with not knowing what is setting me off on the crying thing. I know it is totally about loosing my husband and not having someone helping me with the kids but it doesn't stop me from crying. I guess you just have to cry once in a while. Most of the time I feel a little better once I do. Just know there are people here for you. Haley

llong's picture
llong
Posts: 4
Joined: Dec 2009

My husband died from Esoph. cancer 11 months ago, as of this past Sun. I am very uncomfortable crying in front of people, be they coworkers, friends, and to a degree - family. It makes me feel as if I'm "on display". What normally works for me is that I save it until the 40 min. commute home from work, and then I let the tears roll, blow my nose hard, and howl or scream if the feeling hits me. Did a lot more of it 6 mo. ago and then things began to cycle instead of being constantly painful. The monthly anniversary of his death - the 9th of ea. month since last June, has been difficult. Fri. nights, Sun. nights, and Mon. mornings are the absolute lowest points for me. My 1st bday without my husband is this Thurs. We were together for 1/2 my life & were married for 22 of those 25 years. He died at 54 and I'm 51. Tonite, I cried again over the lost future I had with my best friend, my closest confidante, my kindest critic, and loudest cheerleader. I am exhausted & know that this is part of the healing process. I am more apt to let those emotions out privately. I don't want to do it in a "fish bowl" and it is one thing I CAN control with regards to this horrible experience.

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