To those with Relay for Life expierience HELP!

RE
RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I am walking in my first Relay since my sister lost her cancer battle in 07. I usually would go to her town and walk with her which was always fun and gave me strength, however on the eve of this walk I am struggling and I am extremely emotional. To be honest with you I am on the verge of tears just typing this, so I suppose I am looking for your tips on how to handle this better as I am not usually this out of emotional control. So ladies any ideas....

Hugs,

RE

Comments

  • CR1954
    CR1954 Member Posts: 1,390 Member
    #2
    Well.....
    Go ahead and cry, RE. No need to be strong ALL OF THE TIME. Know that I am sending love and light your way, dear friend.

    Hugs,

    CR
  • bickeyb
    bickeyb Member Posts: 8
    #3
    think of her strength and
    think of her strength and call on God to get you through the day! I cry everytime I go and Im not the only one Hold your head high and walk for HER!!!
  • heidijez
    heidijez Member Posts: 441
    #4
    Nothing wrong with crying!
    Crying at an event like this is nothing unusual. Ten years ago, after years of being involved with our local relay, I was asked to chair the event. I looked at everyone and said, there's no way I could get through the speeches without crying. And they looked back at me and said so what! I did chair the event, and a friend of mine had to come up and put her arms around me so I could finish my opening remarks. But when I looked out at the crowd of about 500 people, most of them were crying too. And it was the most successful relay ever held in our area!
  • greyhoundluvr
    greyhoundluvr Member Posts: 402
    #5
    Great Way to Remember Her
    Re - It sounds like this is an event that your sister valued and what a great way to remember her (even with the tears). I am in NC and my sister is in CA. Even though I was just diagnosed in January and am just making my way through chemo, my sister signed up for the Avon Walk because one of the things I have talked about frequently is how hard this must be for women who don't have good insurance or don't have ready access to the diagnostics that allowed my condition to be found early. She is honoring me through her involvement in this and it brings us closer together despite the miles. I bet your sister will be smiling upon you while you are doing this in her honor, too!
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #6
    Thanks Gals
    I appreciate the support, I am three years and 2 months out from what was my 3rd battle (my sister passed while I was in treatment as well as my sister in-law) I have also lost my mom to cancer as many of you realize. My husband is going to walk the survivor walk with me for me and for his sister, I just do not want to be sobbing while he is walking with me, it's not good for either of us ( I suppose I should of said that earlier). Anyway most likely I will end of crying, such is life again thank you ladies for your support it always means a great deal to me.

    Hugs,

    RE
  • Moopy23
    Moopy23 Member Posts: 1,751 Member
    #7
    RE said:

    Thanks Gals
    I appreciate the support, I am three years and 2 months out from what was my 3rd battle (my sister passed while I was in treatment as well as my sister in-law) I have also lost my mom to cancer as many of you realize. My husband is going to walk the survivor walk with me for me and for his sister, I just do not want to be sobbing while he is walking with me, it's not good for either of us ( I suppose I should of said that earlier). Anyway most likely I will end of crying, such is life again thank you ladies for your support it always means a great deal to me.

    Hugs,

    RE

    Oh RE, I wish I had a plan
    Oh RE, I wish I had a plan for you to manage the tears, for your sake and that of your wonderful husband.

    When I am scared or sad and don't want to cry, I mentally recite a prayer. Maybe this could help you focus, too, as you walk. Maybe a favorite poem or prayer of your mother or sisters', or one your husband knows his sister liked. You could join together in recalling prayer(s) and/or poem(s)as you walk together. Recall funny or sweet or characteristic moments with these special women. It is to honor them, after all, that you walk; if it is in part a walk down Memory Lane, with smiles as well as some tears, that does honor to them, too.

    You and your husband and family have suffered more than your share of pain and grief. Yet you always hold your head high and your heart steady. You and your beloved man have walked a sometimes difficult path in your lives together. This one will be like all the others--comfort and strength in each other's presence will help see you through.
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    #8
    Why not print out a picture
    Why not print out a picture of each and punch holes in the picture and string them together and wear them around your neck. Tye a knot at the hole so they don't all fall together. If you don't want others to see you cry, wear sunglasses and a hat. I do my crying in the rain too. Let us know how it goes. My son is walking Saturday and I'm not going. You are a strong person.
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #9
    Moopy23 said:

    Oh RE, I wish I had a plan
    Oh RE, I wish I had a plan for you to manage the tears, for your sake and that of your wonderful husband.

    When I am scared or sad and don't want to cry, I mentally recite a prayer. Maybe this could help you focus, too, as you walk. Maybe a favorite poem or prayer of your mother or sisters', or one your husband knows his sister liked. You could join together in recalling prayer(s) and/or poem(s)as you walk together. Recall funny or sweet or characteristic moments with these special women. It is to honor them, after all, that you walk; if it is in part a walk down Memory Lane, with smiles as well as some tears, that does honor to them, too.

    You and your husband and family have suffered more than your share of pain and grief. Yet you always hold your head high and your heart steady. You and your beloved man have walked a sometimes difficult path in your lives together. This one will be like all the others--comfort and strength in each other's presence will help see you through.

    :-)
    Thank you Moopy for you kind words, there is a chanting prayer that I love and I will use it to give me strength. In addition there are plenty of funny and sweet moments related to these two which can help to remind me why I walk. Thank you so much you are a dear heart!

    ♥ RE ♥
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #10
    Marcia527 said:

    Why not print out a picture
    Why not print out a picture of each and punch holes in the picture and string them together and wear them around your neck. Tye a knot at the hole so they don't all fall together. If you don't want others to see you cry, wear sunglasses and a hat. I do my crying in the rain too. Let us know how it goes. My son is walking Saturday and I'm not going. You are a strong person.

    :-D
    Carrying photo's of them with me is a fantastic idea, I have made a memory board of sorts that I will post tonight in the "expressions gallery". Thank you a ton for the inspiration.

    ♥ RE ♥
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #11
    I don't think you are "out
    I don't think you are "out of control" emotionally at all! You certainly know that all of our emotions are not wrapped up with pretty ribbons~they are tied either too tight or too loose, and can cause us unexpected pain at a moment notice.

    To be sure, you will not be the only one crying at the Relay! Think back sweet sister,and remember the tears and hugs you witnessed when you participated at previous events. I say there is good reason there is a luminaria ceremony~ it is held after sundown so that the holding on to one another takes place in the safety of darkness...and especially so if we choose to walk around the track alone for a lap or two in quiet reflection. And how wonderful it is to know that loving volunteers will be tending the candles all night long~ No ones light is allowed to extinguish. Powerful message, isn't it?

    You may also remember that I picture all of the names and faces of everyone from these baords, and I chant them as I do the laps. It helps me have all of you with me, and binds me to you all ever more closely. I add my parents to the names, and the many friends/family members lost to this horrid beast. Perhaps you can do that, too. I know your sister and mom would be proud and honored~ not because of your tears, but in spite of them!

    I know that you are a deeply caring and also a spiritual woman. With that in mind, reflect on the fact that even Jesus cried when he lost his dear friend Lazurus. You are indeed in good company, Kindred Spirit.

    Love and hugs,
    Chen♥
  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    #12
    Dear RE, I am so sorry for
    Dear RE, I am so sorry for your sadness. I am praying for strength for you tomorrow. We share tears and laughter, and strength can come from both. You are normal and you are grieving for someone dear to you. RE, you give so much of yourself. To participate in the Relay as you grieve is a tribute. Just remember to take good deep breaths and hold your head up. xoxoxoxo Lynn
  • pitt
    pitt Member Posts: 387
    #13
    I am in the same boat with
    I am in the same boat with you. I was not going to go this year, but my 10-yr-old won the poetry contest, so not only will I do the survivor's lap, but I will watch her up on stage read her poem about family, friends, and optimism!?!? How do we get through that? Take Kleenex and leave it all on the track! Good luck to you! I will think of all of you as I do this!!! Just typing this note is making me misty...not good considering I am sitting at the car dealer waiting on an oil change!
  • Moopy23
    Moopy23 Member Posts: 1,751 Member
    #14
    pitt said:

    I am in the same boat with
    I am in the same boat with you. I was not going to go this year, but my 10-yr-old won the poetry contest, so not only will I do the survivor's lap, but I will watch her up on stage read her poem about family, friends, and optimism!?!? How do we get through that? Take Kleenex and leave it all on the track! Good luck to you! I will think of all of you as I do this!!! Just typing this note is making me misty...not good considering I am sitting at the car dealer waiting on an oil change!

    Pitt
    You must be so proud, beyond proud, of your little girl. If you decide to post your daughter's poem on your Expressions page, to share with us, please let us know. Congratulations to her for winning the poetry contest, and to you as well, Pitt, for being the kind of mom and survivor who inspires such a poem.
  • Moopy23
    Moopy23 Member Posts: 1,751 Member
    #15
    RE said:

    :-)
    Thank you Moopy for you kind words, there is a chanting prayer that I love and I will use it to give me strength. In addition there are plenty of funny and sweet moments related to these two which can help to remind me why I walk. Thank you so much you are a dear heart!

    ♥ RE ♥

    Welcome, Friend RE
    Grateful to give something back to you, Miss Rena.
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #16
    pitt said:

    I am in the same boat with
    I am in the same boat with you. I was not going to go this year, but my 10-yr-old won the poetry contest, so not only will I do the survivor's lap, but I will watch her up on stage read her poem about family, friends, and optimism!?!? How do we get through that? Take Kleenex and leave it all on the track! Good luck to you! I will think of all of you as I do this!!! Just typing this note is making me misty...not good considering I am sitting at the car dealer waiting on an oil change!

    How wonderful
    How wonderful Pitt that your daughter has written such a poem, I am sure you will be beaming with pride as she recites it. I plan to have a pocket of Kleenex and will be thinking of all my sisters in pink who as usual have given me comfort, you area all the best!

    Hugs,

    RE
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #17
    chenheart said:

    I don't think you are "out
    I don't think you are "out of control" emotionally at all! You certainly know that all of our emotions are not wrapped up with pretty ribbons~they are tied either too tight or too loose, and can cause us unexpected pain at a moment notice.

    To be sure, you will not be the only one crying at the Relay! Think back sweet sister,and remember the tears and hugs you witnessed when you participated at previous events. I say there is good reason there is a luminaria ceremony~ it is held after sundown so that the holding on to one another takes place in the safety of darkness...and especially so if we choose to walk around the track alone for a lap or two in quiet reflection. And how wonderful it is to know that loving volunteers will be tending the candles all night long~ No ones light is allowed to extinguish. Powerful message, isn't it?

    You may also remember that I picture all of the names and faces of everyone from these baords, and I chant them as I do the laps. It helps me have all of you with me, and binds me to you all ever more closely. I add my parents to the names, and the many friends/family members lost to this horrid beast. Perhaps you can do that, too. I know your sister and mom would be proud and honored~ not because of your tears, but in spite of them!

    I know that you are a deeply caring and also a spiritual woman. With that in mind, reflect on the fact that even Jesus cried when he lost his dear friend Lazurus. You are indeed in good company, Kindred Spirit.

    Love and hugs,
    Chen♥

    :-)
    Chen you are absolutely right about the powerful message in the lighted candles staying lit, great symbolism indeed. I am feeling better about thing I think I just needed to write down what was going on inside of me and come here for the support one cannot find elsewhere. I do plan to bring all my sisters in pink with me on the track, you all will be in my pocket on a list (bad memory sorry) and in my heart!

    ♥ RE ♥

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