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Those Hard Days

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

It's one of those hard days. It's rainy and gloomy, and it has been 6 months since I lost Doug. I try not to remember the date, but every 20th of the month, it just hits me in the face. I have always made a point of not remembering the dates my friends and loved ones died, but I guess this one is just too close. I even only put the years on his stone. I guess, too, because my birthday is on a 20th, it just sticks. I am participating in our Relay for Life this weekend. Our church has a team. I know some times there will be rough. Doug loved it and we participated together for 5 years. Last year he used a walker to do the survivors lap. It is something positive I can do. Our community really supports it. I don't even care how much of the money goes where it should. I just know that Doug enjoyed the community support, love, and sense of hope he found there. Take care everybody. I will try not to wallow too much, but I think, maybe, we have to do that once in awhile. Two steps forward, one step back. Blessings, Fay

Hondo's picture
Hondo
Posts: 6473
Joined: Apr 2009

The only good part is knowing that when we say good-by on this earth it is only for a short time for all who believe that Jesus came to give eternal life. We as Christian have a hope and sure faith in what we believe, I don’t understand how someone could live with out Faith. I have faith that my parents and brothers and sisters who have passed on before me will all someday be together again.

God bless and keep you

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

Thanks for the support. I made it through the day. I think the weather had a lot to do with the original gloom. We had hail, rain, and even snow. Today I had a massage and lunch with friends. I'm looking forward to the weekend. Mainly, I just need to keep busy. Fay

onlyhuman
Posts: 102
Joined: Sep 2009

Hi Fay
How right you are about the weather sometimes affecting our moods. I'm glad you are feeling better. I have been on a roller coaster of emotions. Have bought us a house. I think it will make for a good home for the next 15 years at least. Was ecstatic because I nolonger had the stress of not having somewhere to go once my landlord sold the property I am renting. Then fell in a heap because of the enormity of buying a home without hubby. Even now shopping for furniture and drapes and doing all the things associated with moving is bittersweet. Packing has been hard as well as it has meant I have had to decide which of his things we will keep. Sometimes it all just seems too hard. Then I think we just have to give ourselves some tlc.

Sangeeta

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

Thanks for the update. I am glad you now have a place to go. I understand how you felt about making the decision to buy the house without your husband's input to a smaller degree. I bought a car and had second thoughts. My son was there which helped a lot, though. Yes, going through stuff is hard. I have a garage full of stuff that I haven't tackled yet. I keep telling myself that it is just stuff, but that doesn't help a whole lot. Again, I am blessed with sons who will help me. Take care of yourself and your family, Fay