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Megan M's picture
Megan M
Posts: 3001
Joined: Dec 2009

We had some friends out today and one of my friends said that since all of my treatments are over now, I can just go back to being the old me again. I just smiled and said yea, sure. Why can't people understand that I don't think I can go back to the old me, that I have changed, and probably not in a good way for now. I finished rads just a few months ago and I still feel lost. I still feel like I am kind of in a queary as to how do I forget about a recurrence, how do I just not think of my bc everyday. How do I not look at her or any of my other girlfriends and just say why, why me. Guess I am just feeling a little down and like others on here, needed to write this down. I will get past this, it just upset me that she thought I can go back to how I was before my bc, because I can't, no matter how hard I try. Thanks for reading this.

Megan

DianeBC's picture
DianeBC
Posts: 3888
Joined: Jun 2009

I know there are a lot of new grrrrrrrrrrr's out there that might like this thread.

I know it taught me something. Like how to stand up and tell people exactly how I feel.

Pink Rose
Posts: 495
Joined: Nov 2012

I also think most don't know what to say or even how to approach the subject with us.  I would be the same probably, if I hadn't had bc.  I think sometimes we expect maybe too much from our friends.  We think they should understand better, but, how can they?  They've never been through it.  I just look at it this way, if they try to talk to me, even if it is just to say how are you today, it shows they care. 

I know you've got good friends Megan that love you.  Sometimes they just don't know how to show it.

Thanks for bringing this subject up.

Hugs, Rose

Eil4186's picture
Eil4186
Posts: 967
Joined: Dec 2007

Megan, I know how you feel. You have been through an incredibly difficult experience and of course you feel different. Cancer changes us forever. With time life gets back to normal, but you will always remember the journey, and the ghost of a recurrence does tend to be in the background.

I felt just like you. People in your life are going to want the old you back, and will eventually gro tired of hearing about cancer related thoughts/fears/issues. I joined a support group, take an anti-depressant, and am getting therapy for insomnia that showed up after my treatment. I am going on 4 years out. But time does soften the fear a little bit and you will eventually start to enjoy the things you used to do. Hang in there, it will get better.

Gabbie99
Posts: 17
Joined: Feb 2010

I absolutely understand what you are saying. In the beginning there were many things that people said that either p***** me off or made me cry. Now I try to develop a sense of humor about them. My BC was diagnosed in October, right after helping a friend with a BC fund raiser. Everywhere I went there were pink ribbons- almost started crying at the grocery store because almost everything in my cart had one of those dam pink ribbons on it! My journey isn't over yet- and every day feels a little different- but my mind is better at wrapping itself around those comments and understanding better. After all- I remember some things I said (or didn't say) to people going through some horrible times and now I really think about it before making any comment...I prefer listening now...

DianeBC's picture
DianeBC
Posts: 3888
Joined: Jun 2009

Bumping this up as there are so many new posts about feeling normal.

Diana77
Posts: 16
Joined: Feb 2010

i had surgery about a month ago and just found out that I don't need chemo, but JUST radiation. My family, friends feel like the big fight is over and I should be good to go, but I feel like I'm still fighting and will always.. So far I have already changed in that I see life in a new way and that I have to take each moment and cherish it.

Megan M's picture
Megan M
Posts: 3001
Joined: Dec 2009

I understand how you feel Diana77. It seems if someone hasn't been thru what we have, they just don't get it. I wish they did somewhat. Take care

mimivac's picture
mimivac
Posts: 2147
Joined: Dec 2008

Sometimes I don't even remember what the "old me" was like. It makes me sad so I try not to think about it too much. Of course, I had my challenges then, but worry about recurrence and cancer was not among them. There is a burden to cancer and its aftermath that is very difficult to understand if you have not been through it. After a while, I started feeling like I was bringing my friends down too much if I kept on talking about cancer. Now, almost 16 months post diagnosis, I don't really talk about it too much, except for with my husband. Because, you see, I'm still very much affected by it. Like RE says, I think "cancer" whenever I have the slightest ache, pain, or cough. If I lose weight, I don't congratulate myself on my healthy eating and exercise -- I wonder if this is the rapid weight loss that is a sign of advanced cancer. That kind of burden is heavy on the mind and soul. It gets better, I can tell you that. But it hasn't yet gone away for me and I don't know if it ever will.

People who talk about the "old you" want that person to return. It's only natural, but insensitive. They probably don't realize it. For while after my treatments ended, my mother kept chirping that everything would soon be "back to normal." It irritated me so much that I finally told her to shut the heck up! She understood. Hang in there, Megan. Things do get easier, but it's a helleuva journey.

Mimi

Megan M's picture
Megan M
Posts: 3001
Joined: Dec 2009

I have seen several write on here lately feeling the same way as I did and still do at times. I hope it might show them that their feelings are normal, as everyone here showed me. We just have a few hurdles to get past first. My gf thought I should just be as I was before the bc, but, I can't be that way. But, I am hoping that I can be better! We just have to allow ourselves time, and, I am trying to do that!

WJGardner_Dec2009
Posts: 50
Joined: Feb 2010

Ya, it does help to write our feelings done. it will be hard to go back to "normal" because life for us has changed and we can't go back. maybe your friend was trying to be positive for you. Wanda

jnl's picture
jnl
Posts: 3873
Joined: May 2009

Good to see this post again. It is one of the most helpful I have ever seen on here for what we go thru.

Leeza

Wolfi's picture
Wolfi
Posts: 425
Joined: Aug 2009

Megan,

I know how you feel. A lot of my co-workers don't know about my bc. All they know is that I was gone on medical leave and now I'm back - I didn't tell them why.

One thing that I like to do is sit in meetings and think about how certain people would react if they knew all the stuff I'd gone through in the past ten months. Would they cry, get grossed out, run out of the room screaming, sit and stare at me with their mouth open? I also wonder how many people I meet on the street have had surgeries or other cancer treatments that people don't know about. With all the different types of cancer and other diseases there may be MANY people we see every day that have gone through similar things.

Even though I don't let it bother me most of the time, I think about my bc every day because every day I wake up and get dressed. I am still developing the new me and I think I will be a work in progress for a while. There are days when I cry because I think about how things were before, but then I think about all the wonderful people (including all of you) that I've met only because of my bc. The doctors, nurses, radiation technicians, and other survivors would not have come into my life if I had never gotten cancer.

Your friend will have to deal with the fact she will never get the old you back. She'll just have to get to know the new you and her life will be better for it.

Take care.
Wolfi

aztec45's picture
aztec45
Posts: 757
Joined: Jul 2009

Wolfi, don't cry. You can't go back and you sound like you are a really great person to know. We all accept you and love you here.

P

jnl's picture
jnl
Posts: 3873
Joined: May 2009

This was always a great post. Glad to see it again!

Leeza

LovingLife55
Posts: 2
Joined: Mar 2010

I just happened upon this from an email and when I read your notes, I knew I had to join in. I am now almost three years out from my original surgery date and I have not really ever talked about this part of the cancer journey with anyone other than my husband. My husband was an incredible caregiver during my treatment, but has brought up several times how I have changed since breast cancer.
One day I finally was able to put into words for him what I was feeling and was so glad to see that many of you feel the same. It was something like this: I think all the time about insect bites, cuts, scrapes or the occasional friend that likes to smack your arm when they say hello. I am a horrible passenger in a car because I don't want the airbag to pop this foreign thing in my chest and the seatbelt, when I am driving, sometimes hurts. I still don't want to watch movies that have death and killing in them. I would love to use my hot tub again and fly without a sleeve on my arm reminding me that I am missing a breast. I don't want to think about that next mammogram. I would love to eat again without a thought in the back of my head that that food gave me cancer.
I totally understand where you are coming. I don't walk around depressed or negative, but I am changed.
I also wanted to share that about three months ago was the first time, since treatment, that I started to feel more clear headed. I was in a study and had 23 weeks of chemo and 6 and a half weeks of radiation. I always felt in a cloud, even after treatment, however now I have actually felt better and seemed more energetic. I have lost weight due to a healthier diet and am embracing the new me.
Megan, Hang in there because you will hit the day that you don't feel so lost.

dash4
Posts: 304
Joined: Dec 2005

Thanks for your comments..I was diagnosed 2/1 and surgery 2/16 and now waiting to hear what chemo is being suggested...what kind of chemo did you have? It is good to hear you will get past feeling lost...I have been caregiver for my husband for 5 years and I know in my head that our journeys are nowhere the same in any aspect, but my heart is still having such a tough time seperating the two experiences. It is hard to imagine that I will some day not feel so lost and reassuring to hear those who have gotten there...
MaryKay

Megan M's picture
Megan M
Posts: 3001
Joined: Dec 2009

I am so sorry Dash. I cried reading all of the responses to my post. There are so many kind and understand bc survivors here that have helped me. Wishing you good luck!

Megan

aztec45's picture
aztec45
Posts: 757
Joined: Jul 2009

Dash,

I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through. All I can say is that I am here for you whenever you need me.

P

survivorbc09
Posts: 4378
Joined: Jun 2009

I am so sorry dash. Hoping that your life is better now.

Sending you prayers!

Megan M's picture
Megan M
Posts: 3001
Joined: Dec 2009

I thought this post might help some of the newbies that are going through this very thing, and, if not, I hope they can take something good out of all of these wonderful sisters in pink comments and wise words!

Hugs, Megan

Megan M's picture
Megan M
Posts: 3001
Joined: Dec 2009

I thought this post might help some of the newbies that are going through this very thing, and, if not, I hope they can take something good out of all of these wonderful sisters in pink comments and wise words!

Hugs, Megan

Megan M's picture
Megan M
Posts: 3001
Joined: Dec 2009

I thought this post might help some of the newbies that are going through this very thing, and, if not, I hope they can take something good out of all of these wonderful sisters in pink comments and wise words!

Hugs, Megan

Megan M's picture
Megan M
Posts: 3001
Joined: Dec 2009

I thought this post might help some of the newbies that are going through this very thing, and, if not, I hope they can take something good out of all of these wonderful sisters in pink comments and wise words!

Hugs, Megan

e_hope's picture
e_hope
Posts: 371
Joined: Sep 2009

you sound just like my inner thoughts... lost, such a good word!!!! no one can ever understand the feeling unless you've walked this road.

Everyone thinks once treatment is over you "all better" like a broken bone.. 6 weeks and your healed. HaHa..

I was just recently asked, How often do you think about your breast cancer? I laughed out loud at her... EVERYDAY I RESPONDED.. how can I not... I still have mun chi chi hair, eye lashes still aren't completely back and I am covered in scars... All I have to do is look in a mirror to be reminded... somedays I feel like I hardly know the person looking back at me.

What I find interesting in all this is everyone is quick to tell you what to expect while going through treatment and all the fun side effects of all the wonderful drugs we have to take.. but NO ONE ever mentions the deep depression that follows treatment... I feel more lost and depress now than I did when I was diagnosed, then I knew I had a mission ahead of me to fullfill and a plan of action... Now just left with this lingering feeling of WHEN!!!

Miss Murphy's picture
Miss Murphy
Posts: 302
Joined: Feb 2010

Y'all have expressed so well all my feelings....and it's been two years since my dx. I don't think this is something you ever get over - you just learn to cope each day, take one day at a time and enjoy what you have. Live each moment cause it's all we can do.

Megan M's picture
Megan M
Posts: 3001
Joined: Dec 2009

I understand your feelings totally E_hope! Just because our treatment, or, most of it is done, people that haven't been thru this just don't understand. And, I don't blame them. It is just some of their remarks do hurt, and, I don't really know what to say. Like with my girlfriend, I just blew it off, but, I wanted to say so much more. Like you, I just want to get past this and to feel somewhat normal again. I hope that day does come, for me, for you and all of us.

twill6
Posts: 5
Joined: Nov 2007

I am almost 5 years out from diagnosis and I still have the worry about my cancer coming back. I have had everything removed that they suggest where bc normally comes back, my other breast and I had a hysterectomy prior to bc.

I can't forget what I have been through, I'm like you I see all of the scars in the mirror each day. I feel the pull on the scars on my back from my reconstruction. My eyelashes are not as long as they used to be.

I think that it gets better in time, but I am still on anti-depressants since treatment. And no we can not go back to who we were, but we are someone new, a warrior who has been through the war and come out on the other side in one piece. I live each day to the best of my ability and look forward to the next. I plan to be here to watch my 3 grandchildren grow up.

But I don't think that I will ever stop worrying about cancer coming back, it is a possibility each and every day. No one that has not been through this can possibly understand.

I think I am rattling now. Hugs to everyone.

RE's picture
RE
Posts: 4630
Joined: Feb 2004

Hello Megan, there are some doctors and therapists who are equating how a cancer patient feels after being released from treat to a form of post traumatic stress syndrome the war vets are often treated for and I agree. I have lived with the knowledge of cancer most of my life since my mom was dx when I was 17, then my sister got it as well I guess you could say I was always waiting for my turn and I got it in "97", "98" and again in "07". I have other issues due to all the chemo and rads and I am on disability which I had to really fight to get and every few years have to fight to keep. Its not just friends that see us as "cured" its most everyone. I had to get an attorney to help me fight for disability and he treated me oddly (as if I was over stating my issues) until he obtained the two boxes of medical records my doctor sent him upon request. I met him with my husband at my side a few weeks later and he looked at me and he had no idea what I had been through and was still dealing with (by the way his mom is a bc survivor) then he looked at my husband and told him that he needs me to look and act more like the ill person that I am, geez thanks a lot! We work hard darned hard to deal with who and what we are after treatment ends, right now I am going to a bunch of dr. apt because I feel so lousy (stomach) issues of course the thought of cancer looms over me like a dark cloud. Now all that said I have learned through watching my mom and my sister fight their battles that its okay to have down days as long as the up days way out number them. I have only a few very close friends who get it and understand I will never be exactly who I was and that is okay because who I am now is pretty darned good. Cancer is a beast that steals our body parts, our health and sometimes our mental health but it has no right to our happiness and our right to enjoy the life we have worked so hard to keep. You will get thicker skin as time goes on and you will have days when cancer is not at the fore front; Megan you are a survivor and you will prevail!

Hugs,

RE

Megan M's picture
Megan M
Posts: 3001
Joined: Dec 2009

Thanks RE! You are such an inspiration to me and I am sure to so many others!

Love, Megan

kumanakaya
Posts: 8
Joined: Mar 2010

People unfortunately don't think before they speak ... and you friend didn't. This life changing event leaves you very changed ... your philosophy of life, your emotions, your body, all changed. Some changes are good and some are bad but that's life. Hang in there and discount the insensitive comments, they don't mean ill, they just don't know and they don't think before speaking. I have a good friend who won't even call me and then I have acquaintances who call weekly and offer to help and listen and whatever.

I think maybe our friends, some of them, are uncomfortable around words like cancer ... they don't know what to say or how to act, and she probably spoke honestly she wants you to be better and she wants you to be the same not knowing that it doesn't work like that. It's hurtful because she wants it for herself more than for you, although she probably doesn't know that either. We want to go back too, but we know we can't.

I made up a sign at work, "Today Pity Party My Place ... BYOD (bring your own depression). Everyone laughs and tries to cheer me up. Those who really care for you will want to know the new you and will be patient. Tell them you cannot go back, but the future is still bright. Most of all be kind to yourself, and find friends who can be kind to you too!

It's a good news bad news thing.

The good news is my life has changed from having cancer (I am more aware of what other people are going through, my friends and family are closer (some of them), I work less and play more, I relax more, I meditate, I listen.

The bad news is my life has changed from having cancer (I am tired, I am sick, my hair is gone, I have more wrinkles, I look older, I am depressed sometimes, I worry about not getting better, nothing tastes right, my wig itches)

Thanks for listening to my rant!

aztec45's picture
aztec45
Posts: 757
Joined: Jul 2009

I think you nailed it. I know I have changed. The problem is no one can see it or may don't want to. The event, the chemo, the radiation, the medicines, the medicines to take care of the effects, the medications to take care of the effects from the medication, etc. all of that changes us. I do find myself playing more but my boss won't let me work less. And I too get really tired. My stomach doesn't always cooperate with my schedule nor does it tell when those times are going to happen. I get sad, mad, and want to go hide out. And my chemo brain rears its ugly head at most unopportune times but I am still here. We got to hold onto that.

Hang on.

P.

Megan M's picture
Megan M
Posts: 3001
Joined: Dec 2009

What you said was perfect! Thank you so much! You write beautifully and explained how I feel exactly. It is amazing how other bc sisters understand me so perfectly. You have helped me so much. I hope you know that!

neephee's picture
neephee
Posts: 8
Joined: Mar 2010

The good news is that most of the bad news you mentioned will go away. Your energy level will slowly increase, your hair will grow back, you'll learn to live with and appreciate your "mature" look of wisdom and experience, you'll find more to feel blessed about and less to be depressed for, your worries of getting better will ease up as the days and weeks pass and you see you ARE better, your taste buds will return to normal, and you can donate your wig to a cancer resource center once your hair comes back.

Ladies, please be patient with yourself! It takes time to heal from the extreme treatment you received. Give yourself at least a year (after treatment) to start to get back to somewhat of a normal level of activity. I know that sounds like a long time, but small steps over the months will be big leaps in retrospect.

Skeezie's picture
Skeezie
Posts: 585
Joined: Aug 2009

requested a couple of weeks ago "The Girls Should Be Wearing Pink". The name of the post is "Greatest Video in a While....". Very inspirational,give it a looksee. Sorry it took so long to answer you.

This is a hot topic. Just another thought to add. Friday nite my husband, Ralph,and I went to a meeting with all old friends we haven't seen since a year ago (a few last June, when I had my dx but not my biopsy report and choose not to say anything as I had no real info). We go to this really neat place every April (16 couples) for a few days. We have a meeting a couple of weeks beforehand to finalize food etc. Over half of them were already there when we arrived, everyone knows and while I wasn't well enough to see anyone, keep in contact by email or by phoning Ralph. I decided to take the bull by the horns (I'm not shy to begin with) and as we walked in everyone was shouting Hi etc. I pulled off my hat to show my hair progress then opened my jacket and said "Guess which one?" Everyone laughed their heads off, couldn't tell which one, fake boobs are great. And the discussion was over. Throughout the evening a few of we ladies had a little discussion, questions and answers, but that was it. I had a ball.

I'll never be the old me, but marriage, child birth, divorce, death of parents, new marriage (39 wonderful years with my wonderful Ralphie), retirement...all have changed me each time. Life changes us, sometimes for the better, sometimes not. But as we grow and experience life, we will change, hopefully get wiser. This has been a true biggee and I'm glad I'm not one of the younger ones on this board, cause this is the grand-daddy of all changes. And I think I have been better able to cope than I would have been 20 years ago. But everyday new medicines and techniques are being developed and for you young ones, hopefully in your lifetime you will see this thing "cured" forever or wiped out completely.

We must all find our own way and this group has the wonderful maps to guide us.

Love you all,
Judy :-)

jackbro35
Posts: 7
Joined: Apr 2010

People just have no idea at all what one goes through - I have an MRI scheduled for this Tuesday - and for the past month all I hear is that I will be fine and they just do this on the side of precaution. Inside me I get very frusterated....

As for you....my hat is off to you and my head is bowed to you. You have gone on an extremely difficult journey. I dont know what its like so I cant give you insight - but I can tell you that you can be whom ever you want to be. And we all change, learn and grow with each life altering experience we have. So happy re discovering who you are!!!!! I dont think its a bad thing to become a new person.

TawnyS
Posts: 144
Joined: Apr 2010

I know exactly how you feel. It always bothers me when people say, "Well....you look good." What do you say to that? I just usually say, "It's all a facade." I know people mean well.....sometimes it is just hard. : )

weazer's picture
weazer
Posts: 440
Joined: Mar 2010

I know this time last year, I was so sick from Chemo, I had no hair anywear lol and my nails were gray and falling apart could't enjoy anything I ate,thrush in my mouth and sores could barely walk, and I had a Mothers day party and Bar B Que, it was a Blast, everyone would tell me how good I looked and I would say thanks it's the make up, and just leave it at that.
I went too a B-Day party yesterday and yes everyone was saying you look great as my hair is growing about 2 inches.
My husbands side of our Family is spanish, and I dont speak a lick of it so my mother in law made sure to tell me in english what everyone was saying, like you look great with wieght on and that I'm not skinny any more...I have never been like model type but I have put on the wieght a bit, darn it, but it is what it is and I just want to feel better.
I truly think our friends don't know how to aproach the situation and they probably are truly trying to make us feel better....it gets a little old but there hearts and HOPE are in the right place.
Take care Weazer

Megan M's picture
Megan M
Posts: 3001
Joined: Dec 2009

Just wanted to update all of you bc sisters! I finally got the courage to sit my girlfriend down and to explain, the best that I could, how her comment made me feel. It had been so much on my mind, and, I had to say something to her. I thought I could get past it, but, thru the weeks, everytime I would see her, it just popped back up, and, I knew I had to suck it up and explain to her. I actually called several of my girlfriends together so that I could let them all know how some of their remarks really hurt and affected me. And, they all listened very closely. By the time I was done, they were all in tears and giving me the biggest group hug ever. They all apologized and said they really had no idea how much what they might have said hurt me. I really wasn't looking for an apology, just some understanding, and, I think they do better now. Or, I hope so. Thank you again to all of you sweet, kind and understanding sisters! I hate being so sensitive, but, my cancer is still so new and still too fresh to me. But, I feel that I can finally move past the hurt I have been carrying now, and, just enjoy my friends, as I should.

Hugs to all of you, Megan

jnl's picture
jnl
Posts: 3873
Joined: May 2009

I am very happy for you Megan. You sound like you feel better after talking to your girlfriends. It is never good to hang on to bad stuff. It only hurts you in the end. I hope you can just enjoy your girlfriends now and your life.

Leeza

Ritzy's picture
Ritzy
Posts: 4384
Joined: Aug 2009

What you did was so good for you! It took guts to do it too, so, I am proud of you. We all seem to come across these situations and never know what to say. I hope you and your friends can move past this now and just have a great time together!

Sue :)

m-star's picture
m-star
Posts: 444
Joined: Apr 2010

well done Megan!
it took some great courage to speak out to your friends but i bet you're glad you did!
They will have never meant to hurt your feelings and they will think twice before commenting again.

I am 19 years clear of Hodgkins lymphoma and it DOES get easier!

Megan M's picture
Megan M
Posts: 3001
Joined: Dec 2009

I was a lil scared to talk to ALL of them at once, but, I thought that was the easiest way to get my point across. I was really happy the way it turned out.

Congrats m-star on the 19 years!

KathiM's picture
KathiM
Posts: 7948
Joined: Aug 2005

I'm so glad you shared in a kind, patient way with your friends, instead of holding onto the feelings, or, worse, being nasty to them...

Most people (not all, unfortunately) are well intended and truly don't understand the 'cancer model' as psychologists call it...they seek to reassure, and just blunder into hurting us by using the wrong words...

Good for you, dear Megan, that you spoke up...you are, after all, your own BEST friend!

My life is not at all what it was before cancer, but that's ok...it's BETTER!!! Living thru the experience taught me to make choices that are not invested in 'someday'. My someday almost didn't come...5 years ago...

Hugs, Kathi

Ritzy's picture
Ritzy
Posts: 4384
Joined: Aug 2009

I so agree with you Kathi! Life has been better after cancer. It taught us to not waste one day!

Sue :)

il2read2
Posts: 29
Joined: Apr 2010

You go Girl!!

I am fairly new to all of this. I was just DX on April 5. However, since that time, I have realized that most people have no idea what to say or do. I have been shocked at all the comments made to me that seemed to be insensitive. So far, it has made me feel different towards some people. Because of this, I am determined that my family and I will use this experience to help other people.

Anyway... this is my venting tonight.

Jan

Christine Louise
Posts: 429
Joined: Feb 2010

I wish I'd been honest about my distress when a good friend poo-pooed my early concerns about mastectomy and reconstruction. She said plenty of her acquaintences had had breast enhancement and nobody had numbness, etc. She wouldn't stop urging me to get big "boobies." I was disgusted and didn't try to make her understand the difference between cancer and a "boob job." I distanced myself from her and really hurt her feelings.

Gradually, we got back together and she started to understand. Now she's one of my biggest supporters. So, who was "the bad guy" here? Me, I think, for being so non-confrontational. I've since told her that, yes, losing my hair is a big deal, and she got it and we moved on. It was no good being a little mousie and nursing my hurt in silence.

survivorbc09
Posts: 4378
Joined: Jun 2009

Yes, well done Megan! You took control of something that was really bothering you and fixed it. So happy for you!

HUGS!

jphilpo
Posts: 175
Joined: Mar 2010

Hey Megan,

I SO get what you are saying! It happens to me all the time. THIS is where you can vent, so never feel like you are complaining. We all care!

Angie2U's picture
Angie2U
Posts: 2993
Joined: Sep 2009

Megan, I am so thrilled to see that you talked to your friends. I know how much it bothered you. And, I bet they really do understand now and you finally got this off of your chest. WTG bc sister!

jphilpo
Posts: 175
Joined: Mar 2010

Hey Megan,

I know just how you feel. One of my co-workers said to me"you're just not yourself. You were my right arm here at work and it's just not the same" I was shocked, but I said, " I have told you SO many times, that I am different, but it will get better. I'm not even a year out of treatment and I still have a bi-lateral mastectomy with diep flap reconstruction on June 14th. I told her to pretend that her"right arm" was broken and wearing a cast and that we both had to make do.

Hang in there!

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