My name is Randy. My father's name is Joel. Joel was diagnosed with Stage IV Nasopharyngeal Carcinoma back in 2000. Originally, the doctors advised my father and the family for a rough road since the cancer had metastasized through his body (spine, above liver, neck). After several rounds of chemo, radiation, every alternative herbal therapy, spiritual, diet, etc he has survived 10 years now. He has no saliva, no smell, significant paralysis of his tongue, kidney damage, skin damage around neck/face, ulcers, and the list goes on. The side effects have impacted him in every aspect except his will to live.
Recently, his oncologist found that several tumors has doubled in size over the last 5 months. However due to my physical condition, the doctors are not so willing to expose my father to anymore chemo. in addition, the location of the tumor (wrapped around his spinal cord) will not allow another radiation round. Since, January he has been in significant pain (managed by pill form of morphine) resulting in significant anxiety and emotional ups-n-downs. He has become detached from the family & friends. He began submitting for clinical trial all around the world for his type of cancer. About 3 weeks ago, a research group located in Boston has contacted him. He was on a "high" for about 2 weeks. We have submitted hundreds of pages of medical records, doctors summaries, etc. He has been getting extremely frustrated with the hospital and the research group for not making things move at light speed. He actually confronted a representative from the research group just a few days ago asking "why do you need all my records - why not cancer related only?" I told him to just give them everything they need instead of filtering it out - all this will do is slow down the screening process. He then confronted the records admin at the hospital yesterday because they weren't able to give him 10 years worth of records in a few days. Yesterday, he made the statement "at this pace i will dye before they even can help me" and broke down crying uncontrollably over a few hours. This is the 3rd time I’ve seen him cry in the last 10 years. Prior to cancer I never saw him cry. You can say he is thick skinned control person. I found out from my mother that he has been skipping his Ativan pills and that the morphine has not been effective in managing his pain. My sister and I want to sit down with my father to address his anxiety however he has been extremely irrational lately. Need advise on approaching the subject of possibly increasing his pain meds and addressing his anxiety. Please help!