CSN Login
Members Online: 15

do you ever dream of the ones you lost?

j28070's picture
j28070
Posts: 10
Joined: Feb 2010

both of my grandmothers died. my moms mom and my dads mom and both from breast cancer. one died when i was almost ten and the other almost two years ago. I have had dreams about both of them. but the only one i can remeber of my grandma who died when younger was the day before my other grandma died. which i always find a bit strange. we were sitting on a bed talking about something i dont remeber. but my other grandma the one who passed away almost two years ago i have dreams about often. the weird thing is that i like it when i have dreams with her in them because it seems like we are actually together again. in my dream i know she is dead and i tell her i miss her and how i wish she could come back and she usually always says that she loves me and goodbye. and we hug and i wake up. i was wondering if anyone else has dreams about love ones they have lost and if so how do you feel when you have them?

mntexasgirl
Posts: 5
Joined: Jan 2010

My grandfather passed away when I was fifteen from bone cancer. I was very distressed over his passing. One night he came to me in a dream and told me he was scared at first when he died but now he is very happy. He also told me I was the only one he could visit.I'm not a hundred percent sure if it was really my grandfather or maybe an Angel, but either way I feel that God let it happen to comfort me, and I felt such peace after that dream.

My father was just recently diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer, the night before we got the diagnosis, my husband told me he knew something was wrong because my grandmother who has passed kissed him on the cheek and woke him up out of his sleep. He said it was so real he couldn't go back to sleep, and he's someone who is usually really skeptical about such things.

I know some people think it is just our imagination, but when it happens it is so real. I don't think it is just our imagination. I personally think it is one God's ways of communicating with us!

Susan

interlaken
Posts: 1
Joined: Mar 2010

My mom died 2 and a half years ago and I dream about her all the time. Sometimes I know she's dead in the dreams and sometimes I don't but I love them; I live for them and they keep me going because, like you said, in those dreams we are together again.

CECarey
Posts: 1
Joined: Sep 2010

My mom passed away 5 weeks ago at the age of 54, and even before she passed away I had dreams with her in them. In fact while she was going through hospice care at our house I had a dream where my mom's body was laying in the hospital bed in the living room, but some how my mom and I were on the couch talking to each other. I don't remember what we said to each other, all I know is that the very next morning my sister told me that she felt like my mom was on the couch watching everything happen with out me telling her about having the dream. Since then she has been in many of my dreams, but the only ones where I feel that she is actually there are the ones when she is in her 20's.

disneyfan2008
Posts: 5259
Joined: Oct 2010

I dream often of both my parents-but just as close to them to hug etc..wake up quickly and so vivid for brief time!

Suzisinshock
Posts: 4
Joined: Nov 2010

My cousin, passed away 30 years ago, though I have seen her visit me in my dreams,maybe about 8 times in this span,I know she is dead,and usually I don't speak to her,but we make eye contact. But, this past dream was different,I had a dream,but, it was like I was watching myself in the dream, I was standing in front of a building and I know that in the building my family was at a "party".my cousin was talking to me outside of the building,but, I could not hear what she was saying,,then,I hugged her,and it felt very real,that she hugged me back..then i woke up..Turns out, that 2 months later, my dad was diagnosed with stage 3 stomach cancer,the next week stage 4..I kept having feelings,very strong feelings,about that dream..my heart was in pain,,cause, I knew,,the dream with my cousin...I was at my father's funeral. There were so strong feelings, that I couldn't see my dad,@ christmas,,Thanksgiving..probably not either. My dad passed away,11-24-10.the day before thanksgiving. I had my first dream with my father on xmas morning. 12-25-10. He looked a little different in the dream,his hair was dark brown not white. he shared his popcorn with me, I said, Hi dad, why are you in my dream your dead, he smiled, and disappeared, and I woke up. 2nd dream I had was 1-4-11. my sister and I were setting up tables and chairs for a show, my dad walked in and took a seat,.my sis and I said hello, to him,he said, :I guess I won't see you to for a long time".I woke up.. haven't had a dream with my dad in it since. suz

AKAngel's picture
AKAngel
Posts: 74
Joined: Mar 2010

My mom passed 6-13-10, and I've not written here for awhile. I guess I didn't feel the need to...but I'm back.
Anyway, I dream about my mom at least once a month. When she was recently passed, the dreams were in a way mean, because in them, she had 'come back from the dead' and made it quite clear that she didn't like the way I was taking care of things around the house or how I was taking care of my dad. I would tell her 'what are you doing here? you're dead, you need to leave.' In my dreams, I often feel resentful of her death, which is something I try not to show in my waking life. In a way, I am resentful. She left me with my promise that I'd take care of my father; if I only realized what all that would entail, perhaps I would be less resentful now. I certainly understand more of what she dealt with, being married to him. My dreams now though seem to be regressing, in my lucid dreaming mind, I know she's dead, but my dreams are of me taking care of her in the hospital (instead of confronting her), though she actually spent very little time there or in in-patient hospice. I'm trying to be of comfort to her, sometimes I'm a nurse, but I also know in my dreams that I can't really help her. The feelings in the dreams are now ones more of sadness and grudging acceptance of her situation, but still they make me feel very sad upon waking. Sometimes I feel because I'm still living where she died that I'm haunted by her in a way, that if I could just move from this place, the dreams would go away. I also feel like I'm haunted in the sense that so many things she said or did come out of my mouth, especially concerning my dad, that I wonder if she is still a bit around, voicing her complaints/comments through my mouth. Is it her trying to stay close to me, or is it that I didn't realize how much I didn't want to lose her?

Lynn Smith
Posts: 1265
Joined: Mar 2011

I do have dreams/feelings.Some who I thought I would never dream about.One was a childhood boyfriend.He died saving his friend from a brutal attack. He just got back from Viet Nam. He was the class clown but when he came back from Viet Nam he was somber(I saw him once)and he was not the same person.He and I had crushes on each other before high school but later I dated someone else.That is why it was strange I had this dream and felt him in my bedroom one morning.I dreamed he was alive.Then something woke me up and I said "He is not dead he is alive".Then suddenly the room became very cold and there was a breeze.I said his name and then nothing(things calmed).The breeze and cold air was gone.I told his friend years later about this and he told me that (K) was trying to let me know everything was alright. At the funeral His parents asked my friend if she was sitting with me.She said yes.They knew me even though we were just kids. Sad part I was 19 when he died. He lived for 2 weeks but being so young and him in NY I wasn't able to see him before he passed. Instead I saw him in my dream.

At the funeral it was very hard.The whole top part of his head was bandaged(he was shot).Tis was something I will can never forget.

Years later it was my dad.My husband and I were having financial problems.He lost his job.We had it rough but my dad always helped us.He passed away.About 3 weeks later I heard footsteps in our hall with carpet.I thought that was strange.I laid there and thought I felt someone looking in our bedroom door.Not seeing anyone but feeling someone.That was on a Friday.On Monday my husband got a call about a job.I think my dad came to say things were going to be fine. I had to tell my mom about my dream,footsteps and feeling he was there. .She started crying.I asked her WHY are you crying???She said just last week I wiped your dad's footprints(scuff marks) off the kitchen floor. Now you heard footsteps. I guess he left mom's house and came to us to say things will be FINE. And they were after that.

This was the end.No more dreams or no more feeling they were nearby.I guess they came to say Good Bye and let me know Things will be Fine.

Lynn Smith

bluerose's picture
bluerose
Posts: 1089
Joined: Jul 2009

My Mother and I talked everyday on the phone, sometimes more than twice a day - long distance for most of my young adult life and into my 50ties too. She died about 9 years ago now and what bothers me is that I never dream of her at all. I can't figure it out. We had a little disagreement before she died and that bothered me for quite some time until I realized that she was probably fading and didn't really know what she was saying to me but I just didn't realize it. I have made my peace with that. Still, we talked so much over the years and why she doesnt come to me in dreams at all I just can't wrap my head around.

I think she was in one dream a long time ago but it's such an airy memory it must not have been a major inclusion of her in the dream. So strange.

Has anyone not dreamt of a loved one that has passed? I have never heard of that until this happened to me.

Blessings,

Bluerose

Tracy P
Posts: 7
Joined: Oct 2010

Don't beat youself up that you don't dream of your mom. I think of the death experience as our loved ones going to a new reality and sometimes they may just be so busy that they only visit when needed. My mother visits my cousin all the time as her younger self (a little girl). They were close shopping buddies and dear friends. Yet my mother rarely comes to me in dreams. And when I do dream of her, I usually can't remember anything in the dream except that I had spoken to her. It's a bummer, but I know she's somewhere watching. She didn't interfere much in my life when she was alive, so I don't think she'll suddenly become a busy body in death. Perhaps your mom wants you to figure things out for yourself, that doesn't mean she's not watching.

pj5halyn
Posts: 1
Joined: Jul 2011

My mom died of cancer in January. She was a generous, helpful, no-nonsense, religious person. Despite her practicality, she did not laugh at me one day when I told her I saw a transparent girl in 1950's style clothing on a swing when we took my son to the park by her house. I also get "feelings" about things. She told me my great-grandmother had that sense also. Now she speaks to me in my dreams, always at the time after I fall back asleep after my nightly 3 am waking. It is often, but not every night. This morning she told me that she always loved the outdoors, and the look on her face was so peaceful and happy, not wistful. Mom was not a happy person unless dealing with my kids, and the look on her face amazed me. It could be my subconscious, but I don't believe that. I and my siblings have been cleaning out her house - she kept EVERYTHING! - and at first I could hear her in my head telling me not to throw things away, that someone could use it. I actually talked out loud to her a few times. She spoke to me as she did in life, rather harshly and bossy. That is no longer the case. She is mom, but more serene and at peace. The most telling sign was an incident that occurred when two of my sisters and my son were at her house. My brother, who she supported in large part despite his age, had taken much of her kitchen wares without asking the rest of us, and we were complaining about that. Then we moved on to the topic of the Catholic church, who is requiring one sister to prove she was not married formerly in the Catholic church (she is divorced) and making her jump through hoops so she can remarry to a Catholic man. We are Lutheran, but Mom taught for many years in the Catholic schools. At the height of our "bashing", a light fixture crashed to the ground, silencing us. We looked at each other wide-eyed, and said,"Mom! She is telling us to STOP the only way she could." The threads on the bolt for the fixture were fine, and despite it being ceramic, it did not break! I have no doubt she was telling us to stop, as she did in the hospital when she could barely talk. When we argued (as we five girls do), Mom would open her eyes, and whisper "Stop fighting", while weakly pointing a crooked finger at us. She was Mom to the end - the glue that held us together. Because she was so involved in our daily lives, I do believe she is watching over us in the only way she can.

emma99306
Posts: 4
Joined: Oct 2011

My Mum died in April. I sometimes have dreams about her. I had one where she and my dad were in the ktchen and dad told me Mum was alive, I gave her a big hug and was crying. Another was that my Mum was at my dads 50th bday party. In each dream I do know that they arent true but it still feels realy wierd. It feels strange when you remember the dream the next day because you want them to be true so much.

Subscribe with RSS
About Cancer Society

The content on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Do not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease without consulting with a qualified healthcare provider. Please consult your healthcare provider with any questions or concerns you may have regarding your condition. Use of this online service is subject to the disclaimer and the terms and conditions.

Copyright 2000-2014 © Cancer Survivors Network