Some of you guys are familiar with my story, but just a brief, Squamous Cell Carcinoma, base of tongue, 36 years old, 3 chemo, 35 radiation.
My last radiation was Dec. 17th, 2009. My nausea is finally subsiding, my saliva is still pretty much non existent, it comes and goes, nights are worst, Ive trained my self to sleep with my mouth closed. My taste buds have come back to about I would guestimate around 25 percent, maybe a little more. My main concern now is my want. I dont want for anything. I dont want food, not because it tastes bad, because a lot of things taste good, I could sustain myself on food, but I just dont WANT to eat. I could go all day and not eat anything and wouldnt think twice about it. I wont even get into the not wanting to listen to my favorite song. I literally dont have any wants, not just food, its like Im void mentally of yearnings for anything. Is this normal? Would you guys say that some of this is related to depression? Maybe not the food want, but the other stuff. I just miss not wanting. I dont feel like my self.
I have started back to work part time. I really dont work hard when Im at work, but man all I want to do is come home and sleep. Sleep is my main thing right now. I sleep so much. I have to get out of this habit of sleeping, or I will never be worth a crap at work. They are being really awesome and working with me, and maybe Im just expecting too much too fast of my self physically. Your brain always is ready before your body.
Any advice anyone? Thanks guys.