obstruction-con't thread

dorion · February 2010

Hi my Ladies
Well after spending a weekend of absolute terror and a lot of tears. I don't know what's come over me but I just have this horrible feeling of doom, which I prey is just my over active imagination. I find I won't let myself fall asleep because everytime I'm about to go there I dream that I"m in the hospital with everyone around me and I'm ready to die. I then wake myself up. Today I feel a bit better, they did call me this morning I have to admit tomorrow at 11 a.m. But this afternoon I had a bowel movement, not a huge one but it was enough to think that this can't be that bad. I've been passing a lot of gas too. But I will get so distended if I don't stay to the liquids.
Yesterday I decided to show off and be defiant and eat a diary queen ice cream. My stomach blew up to the point I thought I was going to explode. After a good vomitting and this huge burp that actually scared me because it was long and I could feel my stomach going down as this was happening. Right now I'm eating some noodle soup and so far I feel absolutely fine.
She informed me (clinical trail co ordinator) today that I may not qualify for the trail, but not to get too hung up over it so I'm trying not to. But what about treatment, if this cancer is active what are they going to do then?
Should I be concerned guys? First it's my kidney's and I have to walk around with these nafrostomy bags and now this. Do you guys suffer from the same anxieties? I want to make plans for the summer but I find it's hard for me this year. Why? I know I have to live in the moment and not worry about tomorrow. I don't want to freak any of you guys out because I feel selfish going on about me when once again as I said before i know you are all going through this private hell. I wish I could talk to someone instead of this thing. Anyway email me guys. Give me your thoughts yet again. Love to all, thankfully I'm on the same floor as the last time I was hospitalized over the holidays and there is a computer room there that I can access this site which is great. I will check in on you later this evening and then in the morning before I leave for the hospital. Love to all of you, always.

Linda

lindaprocopio · February 2010

(((Linda)))). So sorry about the hospital admit tomorrow.
The unknown is the worse, isn't it? I hate it when I am 'between PLANS'; I really am plan-oriented. Hopefully at the hospital you'll get some answers. My CA-125 went up a couple points at today's blood draw, so I'll be getting a PET-CT scan Monday instead of my regular chemo, and I join you in the 'never-never-land limbo' of not knowing what my body is up to or what treatment I'll be thrust into next. I know that feeling of doom. Statistically I'm a short-timer if I want to believe I've already chewed up 3 of the '15-months-average-survival-rate-after-recurrance' the studies cite. Sometimes that seems real; sometimes that seems like it CAN'T be real! I put a non-refundable down payment on a 6-bedrooom beach cottage in July 2010, a crazy move for someone in active treatment. My sons and their families all arranged their vacation time to be free to go with me. I have NO idea if I will be able to go or even willing to be 5 hours away from my oncology team. But I did it anyway.

I'd take some comfort in making that little poop, Linda! My bowels are all screwed up, too, and I was asked by my oncologist to decribe my poops in detail today. EEW! He didn't make any comments to let me know if what's happening is good or not. But he didn't look concerned, so I think the fact that you aren't completely blocked is REALLY good, and you can take comfort in that.

I mostly posted to give you a cyber hug & also to tell you what I do when I am opting for a LIQUID meal. Do you have to stay away from dairy? In the morning I stir an Activia vanilla yogurt into 1/3 cup of milk & stir in a French vanilla Carnation Instant Breakfast. The yogurt cuts the sweetness and thickens up the 'shake' and is really yummy (expecially compared to Boost.) And at night I warm milk in a mug in the microwave and stir in chocolate Carnation Instant Breakfast as a before-bed treat, even adding little marshmallows sometimes. It's really GOOD and gets that protein in you that you need. I could live on these if I had to.

dorion · February 2010

lindaprocopio said:
(((Linda)))). So sorry about the hospital admit tomorrow.
The unknown is the worse, isn't it? I hate it when I am 'between PLANS'; I really am plan-oriented. Hopefully at the hospital you'll get some answers. My CA-125 went up a couple points at today's blood draw, so I'll be getting a PET-CT scan Monday instead of my regular chemo, and I join you in the 'never-never-land limbo' of not knowing what my body is up to or what treatment I'll be thrust into next. I know that feeling of doom. Statistically I'm a short-timer if I want to believe I've already chewed up 3 of the '15-months-average-survival-rate-after-recurrance' the studies cite. Sometimes that seems real; sometimes that seems like it CAN'T be real! I put a non-refundable down payment on a 6-bedrooom beach cottage in July 2010, a crazy move for someone in active treatment. My sons and their families all arranged their vacation time to be free to go with me. I have NO idea if I will be able to go or even willing to be 5 hours away from my oncology team. But I did it anyway.

I'd take some comfort in making that little poop, Linda! My bowels are all screwed up, too, and I was asked by my oncologist to decribe my poops in detail today. EEW! He didn't make any comments to let me know if what's happening is good or not. But he didn't look concerned, so I think the fact that you aren't completely blocked is REALLY good, and you can take comfort in that.

I mostly posted to give you a cyber hug & also to tell you what I do when I am opting for a LIQUID meal. Do you have to stay away from dairy? In the morning I stir an Activia vanilla yogurt into 1/3 cup of milk & stir in a French vanilla Carnation Instant Breakfast. The yogurt cuts the sweetness and thickens up the 'shake' and is really yummy (expecially compared to Boost.) And at night I warm milk in a mug in the microwave and stir in chocolate Carnation Instant Breakfast as a before-bed treat, even adding little marshmallows sometimes. It's really GOOD and gets that protein in you that you need. I could live on these if I had to.

hi Linda
Thank you Linda for your reply. This is why I feel so selfish in asking for support when my precious Ones like you are going through the exact same thing if not worse. I know. I think making those damn plans is a great thing and damn it you will be there!!!! Yes I chewed up 2 of the 3 years they predicted for me, but as someone told me way back then and that is not to listen to those numbers because that's exactly what they are, just numbers and they are not God, they don't know. I know there are a lot of Ladies here that are living proof of that theory, they are still with us and doing great. I take a lot of comfort in that and try to beleive that it could be me too. why can't I be that 30%? I we have got to be ok, right? I will say a prayer for you Linda. I know I get all wrapped up in my drama but please don't think that I never have you Ladies in my heart and my thoughts, always. I'm always thinking about you guys.

Barbara53 · February 2010

don't worry about freaking people out
We're some pretty tough chicks and we don't scare easy, so don't worry about speaking your truth here. Good news is not required -- only the desire to receive the support you need. It's unconditional.

Soup is good! So far, Mom has done great with onionless soups, but I agree with LindaP that vanilla instant breakfast must be kept secret or we may have an altogether new obesity problem in this country.

Laughter is good! How about a silly Jim Carrey movie? Or get some of Megan's stuffed animals and put them in weird places around your house? Make yourself a valentine?

Shaky ideas, maybe, but you get the idea. You are at home right now, hopefully sipping something nice instead of throwing up. This is good!

leesag · February 2010

HUGE HUGS!
Hey honey,

I'm kinda new at this cancer stuff,but I'm sending you psychic hugs and lots of prayers! I wish there were magic words that would make all things better and all worries drift away, but all I've got is xanax and this comforting thought from my husband which I'm sure you've seen from me before. There's no expiration date on hope and there sure as heck isn't one on my (our) backside(s).

I know they're just words, but I hope in some small way they make you feel a tiny bit better.

HUGS! Leesa

Mawty · February 2010

Afraid
Hi Linda,

I also wish I could give you a real hug or say just the right thing to make you feel better. You are a sister in this journey. And we all love you. I understand totally being afraid. Most of the time I'm not afraid, but then there are times like when I found out about the recurrence after 7 months that the fear creeped in again. I do take Ativan, which is a fast-acting Xanax. Do you have anything like that? I take that when I get fearful or weepy because I work and it's not cool to go around crying all the time.

I'm praying for you, dear one. Please know we all care about you.

Marty

dorion · February 2010

Mawty said:
Afraid
Hi Linda,

I also wish I could give you a real hug or say just the right thing to make you feel better. You are a sister in this journey. And we all love you. I understand totally being afraid. Most of the time I'm not afraid, but then there are times like when I found out about the recurrence after 7 months that the fear creeped in again. I do take Ativan, which is a fast-acting Xanax. Do you have anything like that? I take that when I get fearful or weepy because I work and it's not cool to go around crying all the time.

I'm praying for you, dear one. Please know we all care about you.

Marty

getting there
My Dearest Marty, Leesa and Barb
Thank you for your hugs and prayers and wonderful words of wisdom. Just you being here does the world of good for me. I find myself going online a lot more now than ever before looking for your responses. I'm watching Hoarders, lol, that always takes my mind off of things, I knit and I try to read. I find reading my mind will always drift so mindless things like watching a movie or knitting will always take me away.

I will get to the community computer tomorrow at the hospital once I'm settled and send you my hello's and love. I'll keep you informed as to what is going on and what the plan of action is. By the bowel movement I had today this is a hopeful sign that either it resolved itself or no surgery will be required. But at least they are taking care of things, I should be grateful for that, I am. I love you guys and I feel the hugs and love from you and right back at you. We will get through this all of us together, right?

Linda

Margaret Caroline 1985 · February 2010

Obstruction-con't thread
I am entirely new to posting - please feel free to advise me at any time. I was diagnosed March,2008 with Stage IV ovarian cancer. I had 3 treatments of Taxol/Paraplatin,debulking surgery & 3 more Taxol/Paraplatin. did not go into remission. Then 3 Doxil treatments - no help. On letrozole for 60 dys. did not help. Lots of problems with low blood counts with long interruptions of chemo treatments. Currently on palliative care. I know bowel obstruction can be a problem & your info. has been very helpful. I had no info. re. signs & treatment. It sure helps to know what to expect. Every bit of info. on the ovarian cancer site is comforting as well as knowing you ladies are there. Thanks again.

dorion · February 2010

Margaret Caroline 1985 said:
Obstruction-con't thread
I am entirely new to posting - please feel free to advise me at any time. I was diagnosed March,2008 with Stage IV ovarian cancer. I had 3 treatments of Taxol/Paraplatin,debulking surgery & 3 more Taxol/Paraplatin. did not go into remission. Then 3 Doxil treatments - no help. On letrozole for 60 dys. did not help. Lots of problems with low blood counts with long interruptions of chemo treatments. Currently on palliative care. I know bowel obstruction can be a problem & your info. has been very helpful. I had no info. re. signs & treatment. It sure helps to know what to expect. Every bit of info. on the ovarian cancer site is comforting as well as knowing you ladies are there. Thanks again.

Margaret
I'm currently in the hospital and rushed downt to the community computer room to post new info. I'll be starting a new thread Margaret. But I wanted to thank you for your post and I'm glad that my info has helped in some small way. On the other hand I wanted to tell you how very sorry I am to hear that you are currently in palliative care, well I am too with getting myk meds, not sure if that counts. But they gave me news today and I'm trying desperately not to freak out. But read my other thread that I'm going to start after I finish with this on. You hang in there Maregaret and you post as often as you want and need. I found this site very helpful and also in giving me so much stregnth and hope. So you keep coming back, ok? We all want to know you are doing. My prayers and thoughts are with you as with all of the Ladies here. We are all here for each other. My love and hugs to you Girl.

Linda

mopar · February 2010

dorion said:
Margaret
I'm currently in the hospital and rushed downt to the community computer room to post new info. I'll be starting a new thread Margaret. But I wanted to thank you for your post and I'm glad that my info has helped in some small way. On the other hand I wanted to tell you how very sorry I am to hear that you are currently in palliative care, well I am too with getting myk meds, not sure if that counts. But they gave me news today and I'm trying desperately not to freak out. But read my other thread that I'm going to start after I finish with this on. You hang in there Maregaret and you post as often as you want and need. I found this site very helpful and also in giving me so much stregnth and hope. So you keep coming back, ok? We all want to know you are doing. My prayers and thoughts are with you as with all of the Ladies here. We are all here for each other. My love and hugs to you Girl.

Linda

GIG ROOM?
Sorry to hear you're going to the hospital again, Linda. But when my husband had a bowel obstruction the nurses told him, 'we'll send you to the GIG Room'. It's affectionately called that and stands for GAS IS GOOD! It's evidence that things are moving along. So let's hope your earlier 'little poop' and gas are signs of good things to come (sorry for the expression!).

Sending oodles of Luv and Hugs and Prayers. Love the photo of you and your daugther. You both have the same bright smile!

(((HUGS)))
Monika

dorion · February 2010

mopar said:
GIG ROOM?
Sorry to hear you're going to the hospital again, Linda. But when my husband had a bowel obstruction the nurses told him, 'we'll send you to the GIG Room'. It's affectionately called that and stands for GAS IS GOOD! It's evidence that things are moving along. So let's hope your earlier 'little poop' and gas are signs of good things to come (sorry for the expression!).

Sending oodles of Luv and Hugs and Prayers. Love the photo of you and your daugther. You both have the same bright smile!

(((HUGS)))
Monika

MONIKA
Hey Girl, it's been a while hasn't it? Thanks for the encouragement and yes I'm passing a lot of gas and I hope I have another poop today, had one lastnight too. The distention has gone done a bit and can't wait to be able to eat real food soon, never again will I take that for granted for I'm starving right now. I'll keep you posted and it's so good to see you agian Woman! Love and hugs to you (all the Ladies too). I'll be in touch.

Linda

obstruction-con't thread

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