My tests and treatment
Anyway, I see a colorectal surgeon on the 15th, not thinking I can or will do surgery, but maybe they well have some advice for me. My doc says I am still healthy enough for surgery but I still remember how hard recovering from the second surgery was, and that it was during that recovery the cancer really took off.
Like I said I think this is my last carbo treatment as I don't like being this ill and my tumor markers still going up. My doc did say we could try the avastin/cytoxan again but only if my blood pressure and headaches don't start up like I had them before. It is a little scary to take avastin with so much cancer on my colon and rectum but my list is running short.
We have another grandson graduating this spring and boy would I love to be well enough to be there. Anyway, sorry to post a bit of negative note. Once I get through the after affects of desentized carbo I know I well be right back to living life in the fullest and bestest way I can.
HUGS ♥ PRAYERS Bonnie
Isaiah 40:31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Comments
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Hugs
Dear Bonnie,
Sending you hugs and prayers. Your journey has been inspiring for many of us, and your strength and determination will get you to the graduation and beyond!
Adding extra prayers so you find the perfect dress for the graduation on sale!
I like your Isaiah quote, but one of my favorites is Psalm 46:5, although when read in isolation it is a bit out of context, I like it that way!
God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day
Hugs! Leesa0 -
HUGS & PRAYERS
Dearest Bonnie:
Always a source of inspiration, you are. Did that sound like Yoda? Anyway, we're always hoping for better reports, but will focus on the positive - 'no significant change' and 'tumor on the liver shrunk', as well as you being able to have your next treatment.
How wonderful that you'll have another graduation to attend! It is in the planning and looking forward to these things that we press forward and live life. And you surely live it to the fullest! While so many people moan and complain about the littlest things, you just keep on keepin' on!
(((HUGS)))
Monika
'The Joy of the Lord Is My Strength'!0 -
Prayers
Bonnie, I will continue praying for you that God will draw you close and you will feel the prayers of your friends here. You are a fighter, and I know you can keep on keeping on if that's what you feel you want to do. You heard some good things and some bad, but at least there were good things. Avastin, as you strangles the blood supply to those cancer cells, and that might just be something really good for you right now. I know I had to go on two blood pressure medicines to handle the Avastin, but it worked.
I'm going to pray that God will give you the wisdom to do what is best for you right now to bring you back to a healing place.
Blessings, my friend.
Marty0 -
Bonnie
Hi Bonnie,
You're such a brave warrior and I admire how you face each new problem with determination to conquer it.
I'm so sorry to read of your new challenge, I know how I feel every time I have a new layer on this stinking OVCA onion.
Having that Spring Graduation for your Grandson is certainly something for you to concentrate your energy on, I wish you the best of luck.
I enjoy reading the short Bible verses and think about them, thank you.
Good Health,
Jane0 -
Deuteronomy 33:27
The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. What a blessing you are to us all, Bonnie. Not saying this is good news by any means. You have wonderful doctors that are fighting for you and we ladies on the board are praying for good direction and decisions to be made. It is such a comfort to me to have hope and faith. I know it is for you too.
I'm waiting today, for a call to when my appointment with a colorectal surgeon in Dallas will be towards the end of February. We'll do a scope and see if the surgery is needed. Would remove those hot lymph nodes at the same time if I decide to have the surgery, that are pressing close to the sigmoid. I will have it if it will improve the quality of life, as the diverticuliits is more weakening than chemo now.
They are thinking of putting me back on carbo and off the Doxil. Doxil is three times the price of carbo as I just got the EOB on the dose I had in January. Funny huh?
Continue the race, Saundra0 -
Dear Bonnie,
I want to reach
Dear Bonnie,
I want to reach out and say something profound to help you. Words fail me....so I will refer back to a wonderful person on this board who always has uplifting and encouraging words. Her name is BonnieR. When I first came on this board, your words, "God is in every tommorrow" on your "About Me" posts really help me. Look forward to the spring and grandson graduation...for god is already there.
Giving you a extra prayers to heal your spirit.
MK0 -
Hang in there!MK_4Dani said:Dear Bonnie,
I want to reach
Dear Bonnie,
I want to reach out and say something profound to help you. Words fail me....so I will refer back to a wonderful person on this board who always has uplifting and encouraging words. Her name is BonnieR. When I first came on this board, your words, "God is in every tommorrow" on your "About Me" posts really help me. Look forward to the spring and grandson graduation...for god is already there.
Giving you a extra prayers to heal your spirit.
MK
Hi Bonnie-just want to tell you that your are a remarkable women and a mighty teal warrior!! This is just another bump in the road, and you will soon be at your grandson's graduation! Stay strong and know that you are in my every prayer!
God Bless you
Becky0 -
Alimpta
Hi Bonnie,
Well, I'll try again....I wrote a fairly long post to you this morning, but for some reason it didn't show up. I read either on this board or somewhere else that Alimpta had recently been approved for use with ovarian cancer. I am wondering that if it is approved if that would help you get to use it under "compassionate care?" It is the next chemo that I will be starting right away. As I mentioned in my "vanished" post, I totally understand how it feels to get these types of cat scan reports. I had a horrific report last July. After being on Cisplatin and Gemzar for several months, the cat scan was some better. But, my marker has been going up. I will probably have another cat scan (every two months) at the end of this week, and have already begun with anxiety attacks. It's just the worst. Also, I was wondering about radiation. I don't think I have ever read that you have done radiation. By the way, a natural form of Avastin is Quercetin (it's purported to block the formation of blood vessels to supply tumors, or so they say). The health food stores usually carry it in the allergy area. I know it's suppose to be taken with Vitamin C to be effective. I have always taken it and my doctor knows,or I should say, I have it listed with him in my file. I honestly feel that looking forward to wonderful events really does help. I am sooooooooooooo looking forward to being at my granddaughter's kindergarten graduation in June. Hey, Bonnie, we can do it!!!!!!! With much love, prayer, and lots of hugs. Keep HOPE alive! MM0 -
((((((HUGS)))))))MichaelaMarie said:Alimpta
Hi Bonnie,
Well, I'll try again....I wrote a fairly long post to you this morning, but for some reason it didn't show up. I read either on this board or somewhere else that Alimpta had recently been approved for use with ovarian cancer. I am wondering that if it is approved if that would help you get to use it under "compassionate care?" It is the next chemo that I will be starting right away. As I mentioned in my "vanished" post, I totally understand how it feels to get these types of cat scan reports. I had a horrific report last July. After being on Cisplatin and Gemzar for several months, the cat scan was some better. But, my marker has been going up. I will probably have another cat scan (every two months) at the end of this week, and have already begun with anxiety attacks. It's just the worst. Also, I was wondering about radiation. I don't think I have ever read that you have done radiation. By the way, a natural form of Avastin is Quercetin (it's purported to block the formation of blood vessels to supply tumors, or so they say). The health food stores usually carry it in the allergy area. I know it's suppose to be taken with Vitamin C to be effective. I have always taken it and my doctor knows,or I should say, I have it listed with him in my file. I honestly feel that looking forward to wonderful events really does help. I am sooooooooooooo looking forward to being at my granddaughter's kindergarten graduation in June. Hey, Bonnie, we can do it!!!!!!! With much love, prayer, and lots of hugs. Keep HOPE alive! MM
I am just learning the lingo on this site so I don't have much to say. But, I wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
All we can do in this life is give the good fight!0 -
many moments of joy
Oh, Bonnie, you’ve been through so much, and it’s only made you stronger. And now it sounds like you’ve come to this most interesting time, when you develop a profound appreciation for the good moments. Such joy is so awesome to see. I am caring for my most awesome late stage mother, and when we can get her comfortable she is not just happy, but giddy silly happy. Hope many such moments are happening for you, too.
Instead of struggling with food, Mom’s drinking more instant breakfast and ensure and only eating what she wants, like the last piece of leftover carrot cake. Life is good.0 -
(((Bonnie))) Now I feel like a whiner for my 'fatigue' complaintunknown said:This comment has been removed by the Moderator
Somehow I know you will come up with a new plan and get your Game Face on for a new battle. My heart and prayers are with you, sweet one. It's all so exhausting, isn't it? I've said so many times that heaven will have to be exactly like earth or it won't seem heavenly at all to me. And so we fight on and on to stay here for the next graduation, next wedding, next spring, ... as I hope and know that you will.
You have been such a life-line for me since my recurrance. Because of YOU, I come to the Ovarian Board with my worries before I even post on the Uterine Cancer Board that CSN created at MY urging. I come here for the inspiration of your wisdom and grace.
I'll tell you a strange little story. I was driving to a meeting on a crowded interstate the summer before my cancer diagnosis, with an old construction pick-up truck in front on me. I was pinned in by tractor-trailers on every side, all going 65 / 70 miles an hour at least. The road was being worked on, and a huge wheelbarrow in that pick-up truck (like the kind they move rocks for cement around in) was bouncing up and down with each bump in the road. Suddenly the truck hit a big bump and the wheelbarrow bounced out of the truck and hit the highway, headed right for my windshield. At that moment, a great peace passed over me, and my only thought was "So this is how it's going to be." But complete peace and acceptance! Then the wheelbarrow took a crazy bounce and flew into the lane to the RIGHT of me. The tractor-trailor in that lane took it in the grill and plowed over the wheelbarrow like tin foil and traffic never even slowed down! But I hold the promise of that unexpected peace in my heart, beleiveing now that I will have grace when it is time to lay this burden down. BUT, and this is a big BUT,... I think for me, and for YOU, that this day has not yet come. I hope they come up with a new battle strategy for you. ((((Bonnie)))).0 -
loss of words
Hi Bonnie,
I have no great words of comfort which almost stopped me from posting at all. I just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. As all the other posters have said, you are such an inpiration to all of us. Your battle and success has given me hope. Your struggle today may be my struggle one day. Good luck.0 -
Thank You All!nancy591 said:loss of words
Hi Bonnie,
I have no great words of comfort which almost stopped me from posting at all. I just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. As all the other posters have said, you are such an inpiration to all of us. Your battle and success has given me hope. Your struggle today may be my struggle one day. Good luck.
Dear Teal Warriors,
Thank You ~ Thank You ~ Thank You! You are all so brave and such a blessing to my life. It is only here that I can really share my heart sometimes. You understand the struggles; the journey, and don't ever judge where one is at on this road. My body is tired, my spirit just wants to give up right now, my prayers have been for direction. I know nothing needs to be decided today, especially after all the steroids and chemo.
Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for each response, each prayer, each encouragement, even when you say you have no words your caring and compassion shine through brightly to many. Thanks for being a bit of light in the tunnel I am in this week. Hugs ♥ Prayers Bonnie0 -
Dear BonnieBonnieR said:Thank You All!
Dear Teal Warriors,
Thank You ~ Thank You ~ Thank You! You are all so brave and such a blessing to my life. It is only here that I can really share my heart sometimes. You understand the struggles; the journey, and don't ever judge where one is at on this road. My body is tired, my spirit just wants to give up right now, my prayers have been for direction. I know nothing needs to be decided today, especially after all the steroids and chemo.
Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for each response, each prayer, each encouragement, even when you say you have no words your caring and compassion shine through brightly to many. Thanks for being a bit of light in the tunnel I am in this week. Hugs ♥ Prayers Bonnie
I've not been in this site long but whilst I have I have come across your amazing words of encouragement in reponse to other ladies questions. I also think that you have been ill a while and have been battling this beast for a long time.
You must be exhausted and entitled to have a low spirit. I just want to let you know I am thinking about you at this time and hoping you can find some strength. I know we don't know each other but I feel a kind of "kinship" with the ladies on this site as they feel able to bare their soul. We all understand the emotional pain that goes with cancer and the fact that sometimes we can't talk as openly to our loved ones because we are protecting them. That is what women do!
I am not a religious person but I am sending you positive vibes and hugs and wish you hope & happiness. Take care Tina xxx0 -
Dearest Bonnie,BonnieR said:Thank You All!
Dear Teal Warriors,
Thank You ~ Thank You ~ Thank You! You are all so brave and such a blessing to my life. It is only here that I can really share my heart sometimes. You understand the struggles; the journey, and don't ever judge where one is at on this road. My body is tired, my spirit just wants to give up right now, my prayers have been for direction. I know nothing needs to be decided today, especially after all the steroids and chemo.
Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for each response, each prayer, each encouragement, even when you say you have no words your caring and compassion shine through brightly to many. Thanks for being a bit of light in the tunnel I am in this week. Hugs ♥ Prayers Bonnie
I pray you
Dearest Bonnie,
I pray you feel better. I always find you comforting on this site and I hope you find us comforting as well!
Praying for you! Kathryn0
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