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Welcome to Hogwarts~ A Primer for the New Ones not finding much emotional support at work and with "friends"!

chenheart's picture
chenheart
Posts: 5182
Joined: Apr 2003

So many new ones have joined our family of Kindred Spirits lately~we sigh that you have had to find us, but of course welcome you with open ♥

You may have noticed, or even posted about the fact that many of our friends, family members, co-workers and neighbors just don't "get it" and make what seem to be ( and sometimes ARE!) insensitive, rude, and dismissive comments about us and how we look, etc.

You don't know me well, but if you hang around the boards long enough,you will notice 2 things about me~I "steal" quotes that I like and apply them to our lives regularly, and I also liken our lives to books/movies! Who knew we would be Stars?! :-) And today, we are friends and schoolmates with no less than Harry Potter and Hermione and the entire gang!

So~ welcome to CSN, also known as Hogwarts~ the boarding school for witches and wizards! Like you, we were truly surprised when we realized that we would be leaving the lives we had known to enter a place so strange and unknown to us. Upon arriving, we were shocked to see how many witches and wizards already live here~ we thought it would be a tiny place, and that we would be isolated and alone. But No! Freshman, Sophomores, Juniors and Seniors, along with a host of professors surrounded us. Though it was frightening being the new one, we looked to the upperclassmen, those graduating, wondering if we would ever survive the curriculum.

Eventually, we settled in, and made good friends with other witches and wizards! Turns out, it's alot like any old school, after all! We know who the smart ones are, the social butterflies, the competitive one, the shy ones, the troubled ones, etc. We come into "home room", say hello to everyone, and hang out with our friends!

Our aforementioned families/friends/coworkers who don't "get it" are, of course, The Muggles. It isn't their fault~they are not part of the Hogwart student body and they really don't know quite how to relate to us. They look at us through different eyes, they are a bit afraid of us, puzzled by changes they see in us, and they want us back the way we were BEFORE we were tapped by the faculty at Hogwarts. Some of our Muggle family members are proud of the achievements we make, and they don't mind meeting our classmates. But some...well, they distance themselves and can't bring themselves to stay connected . It is discouraging...

So, take your seat here at Hogwarts! Know that those here with you are very much like you in ways you never imagined. You are indeed different, but that doesn't make you any less valuable. Educate yourself while you are here,and join in with the extra-curricular activities ! We exchange holiday ornaments, we celebrate birthdays, we visit each other, and most of all, we communicate and connect in important, life-long ways.

Oh, and feel free to borrow the notes and books you find here~ we are all willing to share what we learned in the previous semesters!! Asking questions and copying is actually encouraged!

Hugs,
Chen♥

KayNYC's picture
KayNYC
Posts: 495
Joined: Mar 2010

I first read this in March when I entered this school of Pink warriors. Reading it again, now one week to completion of radiation treatment, I find it as fitting and heartwarming as I did that first night that I signed into the boards for the first time. Thank you Claudia for such creative use of a book/movie analogy. I loved the Harry Potter books and movies!
Hugs, K

chenheart's picture
chenheart
Posts: 5182
Joined: Apr 2003

One week to completion of radiation treatment! Now that is a milestone to be celebrated! Especially when we think back to the day of diagnosis, and the fear coupled with decisons needing to be made~ did you think you would be a week out of radiation completion?!
Nice to be putting one more phase of beast battling behind you, isn't it? Congratulations to you! ( and thank you for the nice words as well ) :-)

Hugs,
Chen♥

greyhoundluvr's picture
greyhoundluvr
Posts: 402
Joined: Apr 2010

I agree with the others - tears, laughter and lots of insight! I have been blessed in so many ways and yet that doesn't stop the pain of a friendhsip lost. I have one particular work friend who lives in another state. We have shared life events for 10 years. I didn't advertise at work what type of surgery I was having (silly me - I thought it was surgery and then just wait to have the reconstruction done). When he found out I was out of work, he called every few days wanting to know what was going on but it took me a couple of weeks to be ready to talk about it. He is a nurse also so I knew he could handle the information and finally I filled him in. I haven't heard from him since....I realize that maybe this is too much or too "female" for him to handle but given some of our conversations in the past, I didn't expect this. I try to remember all the wonderful people I do have in my life and be thankful that I don't have too many Muggles to worry about.

Thank you for sharing!

Cindy Ann
Posts: 101
Joined: May 2010

I am a nurse. So let me apologize for my fellow nurse. Must of forgot his empathy along the way. I too had my dearest friend a medical asst never speak to me again after I told her I have breast cancer. Broke my heart. I do not understand why telling someone 2 words can make them lose their minds in such a way they cannot even call and just say "Hello?" I think of a it all as a learning experience. I too am grateful for not too many Muggles. But the ones we do encounter sure do break our hearts. Unfortuantely for them they too will one day face a beast as we do today and lets hope that we can be the Hogwarts for them..I will always take the high road.I look at it as we are the people who light the way for the Muggles of the world..

This story is just all to common.. So sad!!!

Cindy Ann

MOrtiz0810
Posts: 42
Joined: May 2010

As a scared freshman coming in to Hogwarts, I thank you for that warm and uplifting welcome!

Balentine's picture
Balentine
Posts: 393
Joined: Feb 2010

This journey has changed my life and relationships so much in just 5 months. As you stated...people just don't treat you the same. They look at you funny, ask you stupid questions like...are you ok? They look at your breasts to see if they can tell which one is your prosthesis. And even your own family begins to distance themselves in certain ways because you look different with no breast and no hair and because even they don't know what to say or do for you. They get frustrated with you because you are always tired or crying and getting overly upset about just about everything that goes wrong. They look at you like they are about to have you committed somewhere. I never thought my own family would feel different about me, but sadly they do. They try to avoid being around me as much as possible. If it were not for you all and the Lord, I would feel very, very alone right now. Thank you all so much for your strength, laughter and support. I love you all and God bless!
Lorrie

kate33's picture
kate33
Posts: 24
Joined: May 2010

I love your writing style-very witty. I guess I am a "freshman" on this site but I'm about to "graduate" so I guess you could say I was home schooled! I had a NSM in March and am just a few weeks out now from my exchange surgery.

I like thinking that the clueless around us are just Muggles. It makes them seem less irritating and actually quite ordinary. You almost feel sorry for them. Thanks for the new point of view! :)

chenheart's picture
chenheart
Posts: 5182
Joined: Apr 2003

Home schoolers still get to come to the graduation ceremonies, reunions, and join in the
holiday ornament exchange! Congrats on the progress you are making~I wish you a glorious, healthy, happy, long cancer-free life!

I am glad you can think of the Muggles as almost to be pitied ordinary folks! We have enough on our plates without having to negotiate our way around them too!

Hugs,
Chen♥

Hope 2010
Posts: 62
Joined: May 2010

Your story is so on target. I love it. It is a scary time and reading that just brought a smile to my face, having someone know what I -- we're all -- are going through. I feel like I'm still waiting for the sorting hat to determine which group I'm in, but knowing that I can talk to anyone at Hogwarts. Once I go through the sorting hat, I'm a afraid of thes moving staircases. I hope I pick the right stairs (make the right decisions) and continue on to the right path.

chenheart's picture
chenheart
Posts: 5182
Joined: Apr 2003

Well, the good thing about Hogwarts is that we will help you negotiate the moving staircases, and even help you adjust your hat if need be! You are safe with us and we are even having a Pep Rally later today! LOL

Hugs,
Chen♥

chenheart's picture
chenheart
Posts: 5182
Joined: Apr 2003

Bumping this up for Ronda..our Floridian sister!

JuJuBeez's picture
JuJuBeez
Posts: 332
Joined: Apr 2010

LOVED this! I went from a Freshman to a Junior in 3 months.. ha ha! I just finished rads last week. Waiting to start Tamoxifen.. not sure when that happens yet.

I really appreciate your posts, Chen! Thank you so much for 'bumping us up'! :-)

chenheart's picture
chenheart
Posts: 5182
Joined: Apr 2003

You are sooo welcome JuJu! I am not sure if our Floridian Sister was able to find this thread or not, but I do hope so! So many of us find ourselves in a similar situation~ it is good to know that we are not odd, but instead we are chosen/special and that we can rise amove the uninformed Muggles!

Hugs,
Chen♥

lolad's picture
lolad
Posts: 671
Joined: Jun 2009

I say keep bumping it up! I know when i first joined i hardly posted, just read. But everyone here helped me open up and taught me to just vent and be pissed or happy. I learned that responding to others and trying to give them inspiration is so fullfilling and i love it. I will forever be strong because of all the sisters here. I remember coming out of wallmart one day and i had my bc hat on and no hair. It was windy and blew off my head. I started to cry and was embarrassed. Then after a minute i told myself dont cry, be proud, its part of the fight to become a survivor. You all have been like my family. I dont have much family support, but i have you and love you all.

laura

Hubby's picture
Hubby
Posts: 325
Joined: Apr 2010

If we are all at Hogwarts, then chemo=dementors; and the dementors have come and sucked all of the joy, energy and positive feelings out of Donna. Unfortunatley, chocolate doesn't seem to be working, and I haven't quite mastered the petronus spell.

And what makes it worse is that she knows they are coming back next week, and then three weeks from now... Where is Professor Lupin when you need him?

Bob

chenheart's picture
chenheart
Posts: 5182
Joined: Apr 2003

Of course to have the protection of the Petronus charm, the one wanting its spirit has to concentrate on a Single Happy Thought...as you have sadly seen, that seems pretty allusive right now. It is still there, but the Dementors are wreaking havoc with her, and in turn with you right now! Funny thing actually, the chemo itself is not truly the enemy. It is being invaded itself by appearing to be a Dementor; it's purpose is really one of benevolence masked in a cloak of evil. Nothing would make the enemies happier than to have Donna give in and give up.

On a serious note, let me just say , speaking for those of us who have already done chemo, and remember all too well what Donna ( and you) are going through: You are our Past,
and We are your Future. These horrid days will pass, even if it doesn't seem possible from your vantage points right now.

Hugs to you both,
Claudia

chenheart's picture
chenheart
Posts: 5182
Joined: Apr 2003

bumping this again~

skipper54's picture
skipper54
Posts: 936
Joined: Feb 2011

Thanks for bumping this up! I just joined not too long ago so had never seen it. I agree we need to bump it every so often for the freshmen 'cause I never got past page 2 in looking at posts.

chenheart's picture
chenheart
Posts: 5182
Joined: Apr 2003

You're welcome! I know eh m posted about feeling isolated, and I hope she sees this post and that it helps~ even a little. ((((hugs)))))) Chen♥

laughs_a_lot's picture
laughs_a_lot
Posts: 1368
Joined: Mar 2011

Lucky me. I haven't run into any Muggles yet. At least not over this issue.

chenheart's picture
chenheart
Posts: 5182
Joined: Apr 2003

Lucky you, indeed! But in case you do....you have the handbook! LOL Just this past weekend, a "well-meaning friend" asked me if I knew that his aunt had BC? Oh, and that she died from it! Muggle-Alert!!!! LOL

CypressCynthia's picture
CypressCynthia
Posts: 4011
Joined: Oct 2009

Bumping up for newbies.

CypressCynthia's picture
CypressCynthia
Posts: 4011
Joined: Oct 2009

Bumping up

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