CSN Login
Members Online: 12

Welcome to Hogwarts~ A Primer for the New Ones not finding much emotional support at work and with "friends"!

chenheart's picture
chenheart
Posts: 5182
Joined: Apr 2003

So many new ones have joined our family of Kindred Spirits lately~we sigh that you have had to find us, but of course welcome you with open ♥

You may have noticed, or even posted about the fact that many of our friends, family members, co-workers and neighbors just don't "get it" and make what seem to be ( and sometimes ARE!) insensitive, rude, and dismissive comments about us and how we look, etc.

You don't know me well, but if you hang around the boards long enough,you will notice 2 things about me~I "steal" quotes that I like and apply them to our lives regularly, and I also liken our lives to books/movies! Who knew we would be Stars?! :-) And today, we are friends and schoolmates with no less than Harry Potter and Hermione and the entire gang!

So~ welcome to CSN, also known as Hogwarts~ the boarding school for witches and wizards! Like you, we were truly surprised when we realized that we would be leaving the lives we had known to enter a place so strange and unknown to us. Upon arriving, we were shocked to see how many witches and wizards already live here~ we thought it would be a tiny place, and that we would be isolated and alone. But No! Freshman, Sophomores, Juniors and Seniors, along with a host of professors surrounded us. Though it was frightening being the new one, we looked to the upperclassmen, those graduating, wondering if we would ever survive the curriculum.

Eventually, we settled in, and made good friends with other witches and wizards! Turns out, it's alot like any old school, after all! We know who the smart ones are, the social butterflies, the competitive one, the shy ones, the troubled ones, etc. We come into "home room", say hello to everyone, and hang out with our friends!

Our aforementioned families/friends/coworkers who don't "get it" are, of course, The Muggles. It isn't their fault~they are not part of the Hogwart student body and they really don't know quite how to relate to us. They look at us through different eyes, they are a bit afraid of us, puzzled by changes they see in us, and they want us back the way we were BEFORE we were tapped by the faculty at Hogwarts. Some of our Muggle family members are proud of the achievements we make, and they don't mind meeting our classmates. But some...well, they distance themselves and can't bring themselves to stay connected . It is discouraging...

So, take your seat here at Hogwarts! Know that those here with you are very much like you in ways you never imagined. You are indeed different, but that doesn't make you any less valuable. Educate yourself while you are here,and join in with the extra-curricular activities ! We exchange holiday ornaments, we celebrate birthdays, we visit each other, and most of all, we communicate and connect in important, life-long ways.

Oh, and feel free to borrow the notes and books you find here~ we are all willing to share what we learned in the previous semesters!! Asking questions and copying is actually encouraged!

Hugs,
Chen♥

MyTurnNow's picture
MyTurnNow
Posts: 2694
Joined: Aug 2009

Sounds like the beginnings of a book or movie perhaps???? You never cease to amaze me, Claudia. Very nice welcome and introduction to the group. But, I have to ask, do we all get "new" names too??

chenheart's picture
chenheart
Posts: 5182
Joined: Apr 2003

That's the beauty of it....you can choose any name you'd like! BTW~ I adore your Betty Boop~ sooo sweet!

Hugs,
Claudia

creampuff91344's picture
creampuff91344
Posts: 989
Joined: Nov 2008

What a wonderful story, and all so true. I think in a previous life you must have been a poet or a scholar, and droves and droves of people followed you around like the Pied Piper, waiting to be enriched and entertained by your quick wit and vivid imagination. You are so right that we in this site are a kindred spirit group, connected by one thing. That one thing is HOPE! We all know our diagnosis, we all know our treatment, and we all have tremendous hope that tomorrow will be, and that it will be a beautiful day. I am so overwhelmed with your ability to take a thing like cancer, and turn it into an adventure. None of us ever dreamed of being at Hogwarts, but many of us know that while we are here we are surrounded by so many intelligent, witty, and caring people....like our Chen. Thank you for the uplifting story, and hopefully the newcomers to this site will be enriched by being a part of this community. Hugs to all, especially you Chen.

Judy

chenheart's picture
chenheart
Posts: 5182
Joined: Apr 2003

If I had an original bone in my body I would perhaps be dangerous! But no...I read or see something and adapt it to circumstances around me. This time, it just happened to be Harry Potter and life at Hogwarts! Wish I had the creativity ; I would be writing best selling books which would become world famous along with the movies! I would use the money to fund a Cancer Cure, and help the Haitians while I was at it! Oh well, a 50 foot woman can dream, can't she? Being that tall leaves me with my head in the clouds, evidently! LOL

Hugs,
Chen♥

New Flower
Posts: 4044
Joined: Aug 2009

You always amaze me by your creativity, humor and dedication. Thank you for being here with us.
Hugs,
New Flower

marilyndbk's picture
marilyndbk
Posts: 238
Joined: Sep 2009

Chen. What a beautiful story. I never thought of our lives that way but it is so true. I am so grateful I have so many pink sisters to share with. God bless us all. Marilyn

cindycflynn's picture
cindycflynn
Posts: 1133
Joined: Oct 2009

And so eloquently put, as usual Chen!

Thank you for posting this, and for all of your support to me and others on this board!

Cindy

fauxma's picture
fauxma
Posts: 3535
Joined: Dec 2008

Chen,
You have done it again. Just the right analogy for us. And beautifully written. You have described it so well for all the newbies and for us as well. Watch out for lightening with your head in the clouds. Can't have our 50 foot woman endangered.
Stef

jbug
Posts: 285
Joined: Nov 2009

I must say, i do look forward to your posts...in any string. The future that you demonstrate for those of us still in treatment is so awesome. AND, you come up w/great stuff. Thanks again...

Julie

mmontero38's picture
mmontero38
Posts: 1523
Joined: Dec 2007

You've done it again, oh my dear kindred spirit. I should have that facility and eloquence in writing. I'm sure you will be a best selling author in your next life. Maybe a la Jackie Collins. Hmmmmm! Thanks dear Chen for so eloquently putting into words what our group is all about. Most importantly, letting the newbies know that we are here for them, to give advice, encouragement, cyber hugs and kisses, and most importantly, lending that shoulder to cry on when needed. We are one special group that although we are far away in distance, we are truly united in heart. Hugs, Lili

Sunrae's picture
Sunrae
Posts: 808
Joined: Oct 2009

Chen-Claudia, You make my day so often. What talent you have and you use it for the good of the rest of us. You have tamed cancer, got it on a leash. I can just see you, 50 feet tall twirling a lasso entangled around the beast, and with a gigantic last twirl above your head, the beast is flung into outer space never to be seen again. Thanks for giving us this vision.

taleena's picture
taleena
Posts: 1612
Joined: May 2009

I was just thinking to myself "Chen, you did it again"... then I scrolled down and saw that Lili beat me to it!! LOL... Yes dear sweet warrior sister, you have a way with words... As a matter of face right now we are just starting to watch Harry Potter... #5 so we can be refreshed to watch #6 tomorrow....

I don't think I will ever look at this movie the same way..

♥ & hugs,

~T

chenheart's picture
chenheart
Posts: 5182
Joined: Apr 2003

I responded to your earlier post---your sadness touched my heart soooo much, and *dammit*, it didn't post! I hold all of the guilt of the universe in my hands and heart, and when it doesn't post you have no idea how bad I feel...

~T....I just want to validate ALL that you feel, and that the only good thing is that you have this safe, non judgemental place to let us know. There is no rhyme or reason, only what is. All I can say is: VENT! B.ITCH WHINE and MOAN~ we all need it, and you voiced it. Bless your heart.

Hugs,
Chen♥

cats_toy's picture
cats_toy
Posts: 1463
Joined: Feb 2009

Claudia, all I can say is "perfect!"

Cat

chenheart's picture
chenheart
Posts: 5182
Joined: Apr 2003

And that is what I say about your picture...PERFECT!

Hugs,
Chen

lynn1950's picture
lynn1950
Posts: 2573
Joined: Jun 2008

Ah, Chen....you are a shining star; thanks for sharing your light. xoxoxoxo Lynn

Tinabug's picture
Tinabug
Posts: 158
Joined: Dec 2009

Chen,

Thanks for the wonderful welcome...I consider myself a freshman, but look forward to the day I'm a graduate. Definitely, not the school of my choice, but I couldn't have asked for better classmates. You are all so amazing & I am so blessed to have found you.

Thanks for the education & wisdom you have all already shared with me at Hogwarts!!!

Huge hugs,
Tina

rjjj's picture
rjjj
Posts: 1826
Joined: Jan 2009

What a beautiful story, it expresses everything so perfectly. I am so happy to have you share your beautiful writings with us. I love it.
hugs to you my sweet sister,
Jackie

chenheart's picture
chenheart
Posts: 5182
Joined: Apr 2003

I honestly think it all comes from being shy.....in person I am quiet and don't say too much. But on these boards~ I dunno, I can think and re-think and say what is in my mind/heart....I am happy it makes you happy.

Hugs,
Claudia

P.S.
Whoo hoo~ The Hogwarts magic is working! I woke up this morning in California and there is SUNSHINE streaming through the window! My puppy ran out in the back yard and is practically dancing! Whichever professor did a stop-rain spell~ Thank You! :-)

chenheart's picture
chenheart
Posts: 5182
Joined: Apr 2003

Bumping this up for TraciInLa!

elm3544's picture
elm3544
Posts: 745
Joined: Jul 2009

LOVE IT!

chenheart's picture
chenheart
Posts: 5182
Joined: Apr 2003

I meant to tell you that I LOVE your Bear Avatar~ soooo cute! It made me smile the second I saw it! The ears coming thru the bandana is the topper! :-)

Chen

chenheart's picture
chenheart
Posts: 5182
Joined: Apr 2003

I thought I would bump this up~ for the new ones to our CSN family, and as a gentle hug to those who are experiencing the "get over it~ you are finished with treatment" from family and friends who just don't know better. I hope it helps...

Hugs,
Chen♥

dash4
Posts: 304
Joined: Dec 2005

Chen,
Glad you did "bump up" this post. I have been on the colon cancer board for years as a caregiver and it has been strange coming to the bc board now as the patient. Your description of the "new school" I have entered is so accurate and I must say my welcome from all of you this past month has been my source of strength to keep going each day and building my hope in tomorrow. So, yes, your post has definitely helped me as I try to figure who I am these days. I am already looking forward to graduation and alumni functions!
Mary Kay

padee6339's picture
padee6339
Posts: 765
Joined: Jun 2009

You've hit the nail on the head again. You are my biggest inspiration. Right now I'm goign through that "get over it - you've been out of treatment for over 6 months". People think I'm 100% completely cured, and should put it behind me. They just don't understand. Not out of meaness, but by not having to walk in our shoes. Like today, I have a doctor's appointment because of an incredible pain in my left wrist (guess which hand I write with?). I'm sure its just a sprain or carpel tunnel but a little tiny part of my brain says its something connected with cancer. I know it isn't really - but that thought is always in the back of my mind when I get a headache, a back ache, or get really tired. Thanks again for just being here and helping so many of the new Hogwarts.
Love - Pat

chenheart's picture
chenheart
Posts: 5182
Joined: Apr 2003

Isn't that the truth? These days, if I get a hangnail, I just know it is either a side effect just now presenting itself, or more likely, the early signs of some relative of The Beast ready to do battle with me again. Things I probably would have taken and Advil for and wrapped with either and ice-bag or a heat-wrap now have me calling the Dr!

So, when your Dr tells you that you have hyper-extended your wrist, or have arthritis, or carpel tunnel syndrome, be sure and post!

Hugs, and thanks so much for your kind words!

Hugs,
Chen♥

outdoorgirl's picture
outdoorgirl
Posts: 1569
Joined: Apr 2009

Claudia-thanks!!

Chrispea's picture
Chrispea
Posts: 123
Joined: Oct 2009

I love it too! Love the analogy.

aztec45's picture
aztec45
Posts: 757
Joined: Jul 2009

I like it. A member of Hogwarts. Can I be as magical as Armani (SP)? I love her character.

P

Skeezie's picture
Skeezie
Posts: 583
Joined: Aug 2009

Please bump this up every 2 or 3 months for all the "freshmen". I wish I could have read this last July when I started lurking, to shy to join (and I am not a shy person). If we can't have humor, and if we can't laugh at ourselves, then we have to just pack it in and you, my dear, bring the humor to this board with the right amount of wisdom. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Hugs, Judy :-)

chenheart's picture
chenheart
Posts: 5182
Joined: Apr 2003

bumping this up!

Skeezie's picture
Skeezie
Posts: 583
Joined: Aug 2009

All of the newcomers will certainly appreciate this. And we all need to try and keep our sense of humor in dealing with the beast!

Still smiling, Judy :-)

chenheart's picture
chenheart
Posts: 5182
Joined: Apr 2003

I appreciate that you asked me to bump this up every now and again, and today I noticed a post about one of our Kindred Spirits having trouble with a co-worker.....I replied to that post with a reference to this one, so I hope she gets to see it! I am happy it is still making you smile! :-)

Hugs,

KayNYC's picture
KayNYC
Posts: 495
Joined: Mar 2010

What an excellent analogy. What a great group of terrific pink warriors! I am honored to attend this very unique and special life program.
A Newbie,
K

Octavia7
Posts: 7
Joined: Mar 2010

I feel truly blessed for coming across this site. As I journey through I look forward to the wisdom and insights from my pink sisters who I see as the greatest support group that I have encountered so far.

Thanks for the nice welcome.

pinkkari09's picture
pinkkari09
Posts: 878
Joined: Sep 2009

Thank you so much for the great visually impressive expression of who we really are. So I started with chemo (Freshman),had surgery (Sophomore), and am currently in radiation (Junior), YAH, I'm a Junior and I pray to God I can be of some help to others on this board. If I can give back just a little of what I've received from so many on here, and help make a difference for someone, then I will feel as though I'm doing my part. Claudia, you ABSOLUTELY AMAZE me, you must have a best seller by now, I love reading everything that you write. God bless your amazing talent, your great outlook on life, your positive attitude towards all (especially those who don't understand us), and last but not least, thank God we have you here on csn.
Mountains of Love and Big Cyber Hugs,
~Kari

chenheart's picture
chenheart
Posts: 5182
Joined: Apr 2003

bump....

chenheart's picture
chenheart
Posts: 5182
Joined: Apr 2003

I am embarrassed to bump this up again, but I was asked to~ Please newbies~ give it a quick read! :)

chenheart's picture
chenheart
Posts: 5182
Joined: Apr 2003

bumping this up!

Megan M's picture
Megan M
Posts: 3001
Joined: Dec 2009

Why do you keep bumping this up?

chenheart's picture
chenheart
Posts: 5182
Joined: Apr 2003

Only because new ones post wondering about the reactions they are getting from friends and families, and I was asked to bump this up to help them out! And, as we all know from the boards, things have a way of being swallowed up and ending up on page 2 or three in a matter of hours! Personally, I don't mind that this is relegated to a back page! LOL But I have gotten some PMs requesting it be shared regularly. I noticed someone just yesterday being frustrated by the lack of fellow-feeling at work, and losing some of their friends. And, as I mentioned, it needn't be read by anyone who has already seen it! Heaven knows I don't re-read it! :-)

I think I will just let this one float through the boards~ someone else can bump it if they want to! I've seen it a gazillion times myself! HAHAHA! Enough already! :-)

Hugs,
Chen

Cindy Ann
Posts: 101
Joined: May 2010

Thank you so much for the post. Today another friend turned away. Fear? Don't know what to say.Just a newbie yet. I am tired of making excuses for my family and friends.When I read your post I said I wish they could get it like Chen does, I wish I could make then understand as everyone else on this site does. No one around me gets why I feel teary eyed, or depressed, or just plain quiet.I withdraw within myself drawing strength from within. So thank you for helping not only me but others feel not so alone. Just knowing others get it helps.If I have to be in a club this one is the best yet..

Sad only for a minute, Cindy Ann

chenheart's picture
chenheart
Posts: 5182
Joined: Apr 2003

If you had to be sad, I'm glad it was "only for a minute"...much as we never wanted to be here, we do indeed get it, don't we? And that bonds us in ways that some people will never experience. It is not an upside of cancer, but an upside of making caring friends!

Hugs,
Chen♥

chenheart's picture
chenheart
Posts: 5182
Joined: Apr 2003

It was suggested I bump this up to welcome our new sisters to the boards!

anniem123's picture
anniem123
Posts: 19
Joined: Apr 2010

As I started to read this i was crying feeling sorry for myself. by the time I finished I was laughing. Thank you so much! I am a 7 week newbe and it is so wonderful that others have the same problems, questions,etc that I have. Your analogy of us being at hogwarts was genius. I related to it perfectly. An outcast to non-cancer friends. They are drifting away. But I am finding new friends here. Everyone is a blessing.

Outcast Rain Witch
(trying to come up with a hogsworth name)

lizzie17
Posts: 528
Joined: Nov 2009

WOW, I just read this!! You are very creative, and this is something we can all fit in to.
I have felt many times that people I have worked with for years now shun me, like they are afraid or something. It always hurts me.
Your entry is perfect, and I feel like I am one of the "shy ones" or "troubled ones".
Thank you for your story!! I love it.

Skeezie's picture
Skeezie
Posts: 583
Joined: Aug 2009

every 2 or 3 months. It's for all the newcomers. When I first read this I was already finished with treatment but it is so inspirational and full of wonderful, necessary humor and wished I had been able to read this last summer when I was going thru the diagnosis process, lurking on this board, too shy to join in. So I hope all of the newcomers can get the same feeling I got only in the beginning of their journey.

Again, I thank you Chen. Even tho I have this saved in my Favorites, I never get tired of reading it. And I can see by the responses you get that most people "get it" and appreciate your humor and can see this really hits home.

Hugs, Judy :-)

2Floridiansisters's picture
2Floridiansisters
Posts: 361
Joined: May 2010

and now I do. Thank you for the open arms, I gladly accept the hugs and the ecouragement that I am getting since coming here. I'm finding strength in every one of you. I'm sorry you ladies had to walk down this path at all. None of you know me but you know the nightmare my life has become. From the bottom of my heart I say "thank you" that you care about how I'm doing.

chenheart's picture
chenheart
Posts: 5182
Joined: Apr 2003

We actually do know you~ one of the quotes I happily stole was "you are our past, and we are your future"...you will wake up from the nightmare and find that there is indeed Life After Cancer, and the bonds you make here may fade, but they will never be erased. We are connected with heartstrings.

Hugs,
chen♥

Cindy Ann
Posts: 101
Joined: May 2010

You know how much it means to us newbies to see that others also have friends turning away, bad minutes that last into days, and bad family members. It helps to be reminded that we are all the same no one here is different some of us just deal with different situations at different times. We all have a simple thing in common. We just wanted to be treated normally. No more no less. I feel my BC is becoming the biggest lesson of my life. For me I plan to use all I learn and feel to help others when I am in a better place. I hate this beast. I mean hate it.. But I plan to make life better because of it. As for those friends turning away. They too will face their beast one day and I will forgive them and open my arms wide. Because the beast wins if you change who you truly are. So all you out there don't hate those who turn away, drift away, or plain just say I can't be your friend. Because one day they too will face their own beast. You having faced yours will teach the meaning of being a true friend.. If you chose too. Some of these people may never enter back into your life. But newbies like me will. Be my friend. Hold my hand. Dry my tears. Remind me it is never hopeless.

Hugs and Blessings,
Cindy Ann

Subscribe with RSS
About Cancer Society

The content on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Do not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease without consulting with a qualified healthcare provider. Please consult your healthcare provider with any questions or concerns you may have regarding your condition. Use of this online service is subject to the disclaimer and the terms and conditions.

Copyright 2000-2014 © Cancer Survivors Network