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husband does not want chemo

143ls458
Posts: 2
Joined: Jan 2010

hi all my husband has stage 2t n1 mx cancer of the esophages he is due to have his surgery and had no chemo or radiation before and does not want any after.has anyone had thhe surgery without chemo or radiation before and after.

thank you,
dorothy

mumphy's picture
mumphy
Posts: 486
Joined: Jun 2009

Hi,

I'm Kathy aka Mumphy I am curious to know why your husband does not want to have these treatments.

My husband has stage iv and has had surgery and will be needing chemo to make sure that there aren't any loose cells floating around to plant themselves someplace else in his body.

Good Luck
God Bless,
Kath

Betty in Vegas's picture
Betty in Vegas
Posts: 311
Joined: Jul 2009

I have met a lot of folks who don't want to do the surgery...but I have yet to meet one who didn't opt for chemo when offered. THAT is new to me.

If he made it through the surgery, the chemo is a walk in the park. My DH had the chemo, then chemo/rad, then surgery and now we are back on a NEW chemo. And he's doing fine on it. If your hubby had it in a node, it is in the lymphatic system and without chemo, it will be back without treatment. It's important to do the chemo if offered.

And truly, it may not be as bad as he thinks it will be. Some people do wonderfully--my husband worked every day but one on his first 2 rounds. He missed a day when he had H1N1 and chemo at the same time.

It's a short term thing--for a long term gain.

Betty

maria53
Posts: 10
Joined: Jan 2010

My husband had his Surgery on Dec 17 for stage 2 EC with mets to one node out of 25. The recuperation from the surgery was extremely dufficult but surely not more than you can handle. Unfortunatly we have gotten some really upsetting predictions from others than our ONC who paint a dismal picture for Chemo/Rad that will commence on Monday. We are trying to take this all a day at a time and really the only way to set your mind is that this is what you need to do if you want to survive. Life is sweet and we all want to live longer in good health with our loved ones. Maybe your husband is still in the denial/anger stage which is perfectly normal to go through. I find myself howling at the moon on occasiion and beating my chest in anger but this is what we have been dealt and the bottom line is that we all want to have a chance that will be our BEST OPTION for a normal life again. None of this is easy and it truly changes your life but you are not in this alone and you will find many good resourses here on this site, and well as support. Good luck and God Bless Maria

Pghmomma
Posts: 161
Joined: Nov 2009

I dont understand why he doesnt want to go thur with it?!?! Has he been doing research?

I know when my dad was dx in late November 09 with stage 3 and it was in 4 of 20 nodes, he went for surgery first and now will be starting chemo and radition. Did he want to? No, he dont wanna go at all, but he HAS to, why because, we said if he dont it may/will will come back because like another poster said it was in his nodes, the chances of it coming back is high.

Dad didnt understand at first either why he needed chemo if the tumor was out. But No surgeon no matter how good they are will get every cell.

Please have him reconsider it. He got thur the roughest part being surgery, he will FLY thur the chemo!

Take care and God Bless

Tina Blondek's picture
Tina Blondek
Posts: 1560
Joined: Nov 2009

Hi Dorothy,
Sorry you are going through this rough time with your husband. I am a caregiver to my dad. Thank god I did not have to go through this with him....yet. He now has mets to his liver after beating ec in 11/09.
He is questioning chemo at this time. He is afraid of the side effects. I do not blame him, but this is what we have to do to beat this cancer! Some drs do chemo before surgery to shrink tumor, some wait until after surgery to make sure it is dead and all gone. Your husband does not want to take the chance of it not being all gone. Hang in there fellow caregiver, listen, ask lots of questions, be supportive, and keep us posted!
Tina

Caballero38's picture
Caballero38
Posts: 37
Joined: Sep 2009

Hi Dorothy,

I can relate to why your husband doesn't want chemo, but I am not here to agree or disagree with him. I just want to tell you my particular story. I had Radiation and Chemo before my esophagectomy. Well, when the esophagus was removed in Mid October, they founds that the chemo had worked and it was cancer free (correct wording different). Well, for two months I was on top of the world thinking I had beaten Cancer, but it seems that my cancer metastasized to the bones, this we found out when I found myself in the ER with a broken neck without any form of trauma.

Anyways, after some soul searching and taking into account what some of the members here in CSN, I decided to start chemo again for the mets in the bones, we'll see how this works out, but my hopes are high.

I will keep your husband in my prayers as well as your family.

God bless,

Luis Rodriguez

P.S. I hope i didn't ramble too much and what I wrote made some sense.

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