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The waiting game

Kisma
Posts: 41
Joined: Dec 2009

Happy New Year!!!

I have taken down all the decorations, packed the tree, lights and other misc items that made my home festive for the holiday.

The New Year rang in bright and I had quality time with my family, kids and close friends.

In the back of my mind however, I have been patiently waiting for the doctor to call me to tell me if I made my year mark.

I know in my heart I did, but there is always that knot in the pit of my stomach that keeps me grounded in case its bad.

Not knowing drives me crazy.... maybe today... its still early...

JR1949
Posts: 230
Joined: Jun 2009

Kisma,
I know what you mean, the waiting game can really drive you crazy.
My wife was diagnosed with stage 4 metatastic melanoma in June 2009 after being cancer free for 21 years. She has had two treatments with IL2 chemotherapy and after treatment she has a CT scan. The time from the treatment and the CT scan and getting the results is about a month which does drive you a little crazy.
We have been blessed so far as the two CT scans have revealed a better than 50% reduction from the prior scan each time.
Just have faith and I will pray for you that you get a good test result. Let me know when you hear on this bulletin board.
JR1949

Kisma
Posts: 41
Joined: Dec 2009

Thanks for the kind words.

They doctor just called with apologies in the delay and was very supportive to my rattled nerves.

So it was a mole that had turned angry. It has some A-typical cells. Given my history, the doctor is going to make another incision to remove more cells. I am sad because I really wanted this to be my one year marker, but extremely grateful that its not worse then what it is.

My procedure is next week.

On a side note, JR1949, I am glad to hear that the results of your wife's CT scans have been good ones. I will keep you and your wife in my thoughts that things continue down that same road.

Thank you.

gailaj
Posts: 36
Joined: Jun 2008

Hi Kisma,
Sorry to hear another procedure is in store for you....I guess you have to consider it a chronic condition that has to be followed. Still stinks though, I know! Be good to yourself in the meantime.
Best, Gail

Kisma
Posts: 41
Joined: Dec 2009

Hey there... yea yesterday was my day to pout. This morning I woke up, made my coffee, followed my morning routine like nothing bad was going on.

It took me years to get to the acceptance part of my cancer. I have been so lucky that we catch it each time that all I have to go through is a simple surgery. At least that is what I tell people. Truth is, its a simple procedure.. but its painful and leaves scars and I have to do it so often that it really just sucks the life outta me. The scars don't bother me... the reason for the scars does. I never know if its the last. I hope... always hope.

Today I am good. I have had a productive day and am currently killing time before my kids get home where they will run the house for a few hours and then my husband and I will drop them with their grandparents while we go to a nice dinner.

I hope that you enjoy the rest of your Friday as well and thank you for your support.

JR1949
Posts: 230
Joined: Jun 2009

Thanks for your kind words.
Sorry to hear you have more surgeries ahead for you. Good that it was caught and no worse than it is. As I am sure you know, early detection is the key to beating cancer. Good luck next week. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Just keep a positive attitude, it really helps.

JR

Kisma
Posts: 41
Joined: Dec 2009

Ya know I was just telling my mother how I was doing all I could do to prevent and treat each case as they come up. She is one of those gals who feels I should be doing more... when I asked her what, she couldn't say. She recommended one of Thermography scans, which I am looking into, but truth be told, I feel that what I am doing is the right course of treatment for me. I don't like be cut on so much, but I am alive and I know my skin like a map... so I watch it. I don't obsess, I am just careful.

I feel as of these last few months, I am the queen of positive.. so much that I irritate my friends. I created a blog. I look at positive quotes from a site that I found and I feed off them myself and share with anybody and everybody that care to read them. I have no idea if people read them, don't care. But I will say it makes me feel good and its a great way to start the day.

I hope you are having a good day!

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