What does this mean?
The oncologist I'm seeing decided to use Femara and Zometa, and save the "big guns" (chemo & rads) for later.
So I healed quickly from the surgery, have not lost my hair, can do most of everything I did before the dx, and appear to be healthy, and as long as treatments continue to be effective, I'm really fine.
Yesterday at church an acquaintance asked how I'm doing, since I hadn't been there in a while. She had this pseudo-sympathic look on her face...I think you've all seen it. My reply to her question was "I'm as well as I'm ever going to be".
And she said to me "Aww. Still getting used to it, huh?" What does THAT mean? Fortunately, someone distracted her, so the discussion ended.
But Ladies, how would you have answered that question? In my faith walk, I know where I am with the Lord. My journey here may become difficult, but I know where I'm going and the anticipation of it is joyous to me.
Comments
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Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I can't say what she meant, BUT, I would like to punch her lights out!!!!! Getting used to it? That may be the dumbest remark I have ever read that someone said to a bc patient. I would probably have said something crude back to her IF my hubby didn't stop me. lol I won't even type what it would be. I know sometimes people say dumb and awkward words. I realize that sometimes they just don't know what the heck to say, but, they should think before they open their mouth or just shut up. I continue to pray for you always!
Sue
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Don't get
what she meant by that!Is she a cancer survivor or of some other chronic disease? Why would somebody say something like that?Undoubtably that's why she was distracted by somebody...I've stuck my foot in my mouth before but thank God I have never said anything like that!!0 -
I had another acquaintance
I had another acquaintance who, when I was telling her how great I thought I was doing, would then share every friend she knew who was doing terribly with the disease and also let me know how many of them had died. As if we didn't know! I treated her like she had the plague and ran from her for many, many years. 23 yrs later, she now has her own issues and has shut up about mine. There are so many out there who engage their mouths before engaging their brains.0 -
Ugh....another phrase to remove from the English languageCypressCynthia said:I had another acquaintance
I had another acquaintance who, when I was telling her how great I thought I was doing, would then share every friend she knew who was doing terribly with the disease and also let me know how many of them had died. As if we didn't know! I treated her like she had the plague and ran from her for many, many years. 23 yrs later, she now has her own issues and has shut up about mine. There are so many out there who engage their mouths before engaging their brains.
I vote we remove 'Getting use to it' and 'Get over it' from the entire English language! This woman most likely has no idea what we go through nor does she want to know because she most likely cannot deal with it. One simply does not get use to it as one does not simply get over it, we get out our boxing gloves and move forward. Unless someone has experienced this first hand either through a dx themselves or knows someone who has gone through this and shared their experience they have absoutley no idea what we go through. Just as we have no idea what we will encounter when we are first diagnosed. Sometimes its hard to beleive the comments that come out of peoples mouths. Makes you wonder if they really think before the speak. God Bless the individual who rescued you from having to participate in the conversation further! I too would have punched her lights out!!0 -
More moronic discussionsTLynn0102 said:Ugh....another phrase to remove from the English language
I vote we remove 'Getting use to it' and 'Get over it' from the entire English language! This woman most likely has no idea what we go through nor does she want to know because she most likely cannot deal with it. One simply does not get use to it as one does not simply get over it, we get out our boxing gloves and move forward. Unless someone has experienced this first hand either through a dx themselves or knows someone who has gone through this and shared their experience they have absoutley no idea what we go through. Just as we have no idea what we will encounter when we are first diagnosed. Sometimes its hard to beleive the comments that come out of peoples mouths. Makes you wonder if they really think before the speak. God Bless the individual who rescued you from having to participate in the conversation further! I too would have punched her lights out!!
I have a 'friend' who always has to 1-up you on health issues.
After my mastectomy, a group of us girls went out. Of course, the conversation always comes to me with my wonderful friends asking how things are going, and how am I coping. This one just sits back and listens. When I'm done talking, she starts in about her 'health' issues, and says, "I was going to call everyone together, but I found out that it was a false alarm. I thought that I had CANCER"........Good Lord!
What she does is self-diagnoses herself by looking up her symptoms in Web.MD, or whatever internet page she can find.
I told my other friends that she will always have to have 1 up on me........
Sad that some people are like this.
Jill0 -
Grace and Jilljikaras said:More moronic discussions
I have a 'friend' who always has to 1-up you on health issues.
After my mastectomy, a group of us girls went out. Of course, the conversation always comes to me with my wonderful friends asking how things are going, and how am I coping. This one just sits back and listens. When I'm done talking, she starts in about her 'health' issues, and says, "I was going to call everyone together, but I found out that it was a false alarm. I thought that I had CANCER"........Good Lord!
What she does is self-diagnoses herself by looking up her symptoms in Web.MD, or whatever internet page she can find.
I told my other friends that she will always have to have 1 up on me........
Sad that some people are like this.
Jill
Jill, that "friend" is just insecure and is seeking some attention and reaffirmation from anyone since she obviously doesn't get it at home. I pity people like that. It must be awful to go thru life seeking attention to make you feel good.
Grace, I agree with Ritzy, I want to punch that lady's ( i use that term loosely ) lights out too. What a really dumb, insensitive remark. I am sure that is why they got her away from you quickly. I just hope that whoever that was, that they commented on how stupid her remark was to her so that she knows now. You just carry on your battle Grace and count on us to help you. Sending you hugs and prayers!
♠♣ Susie ♠♣0 -
Thanks!jikaras said:More moronic discussions
I have a 'friend' who always has to 1-up you on health issues.
After my mastectomy, a group of us girls went out. Of course, the conversation always comes to me with my wonderful friends asking how things are going, and how am I coping. This one just sits back and listens. When I'm done talking, she starts in about her 'health' issues, and says, "I was going to call everyone together, but I found out that it was a false alarm. I thought that I had CANCER"........Good Lord!
What she does is self-diagnoses herself by looking up her symptoms in Web.MD, or whatever internet page she can find.
I told my other friends that she will always have to have 1 up on me........
Sad that some people are like this.
Jill
You ladies are great! I was wondering if I was just being overly-sensitive about the remark. Now I believe it really was a strange thing to say. If I had ansered her with a hang-dog look, maybe it would have been a more appropriate reply. But when I said "I'm as well as I'm ever going to be" was cheerful and actually full of hope. I truly believe in the prospect of continuing this way for years. So that's why I thought her remark was wierd, peculiar, odd and strange. Thanks for the support. Hugs to you all. Gracie0 -
I agree, Getting used toRitzy said:Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I can't say what she meant, BUT, I would like to punch her lights out!!!!! Getting used to it? That may be the dumbest remark I have ever read that someone said to a bc patient. I would probably have said something crude back to her IF my hubby didn't stop me. lol I won't even type what it would be. I know sometimes people say dumb and awkward words. I realize that sometimes they just don't know what the heck to say, but, they should think before they open their mouth or just shut up. I continue to pray for you always!
Sue
I agree, Getting used to it???? What to the fact we have had cancer? I would have been so tempted to say, maybe someday you will be able to get used to it, you dufus!
Now as far as my Celiac I have now, THAT would be appropriate for someone to say to me "Are you getting used to it" I'd tell them yep, and i bet i could make you something and you wouldn't know it was gluten-free inless I told you!0 -
Hi Gracie ♥m_azingrace said:Thanks!
You ladies are great! I was wondering if I was just being overly-sensitive about the remark. Now I believe it really was a strange thing to say. If I had ansered her with a hang-dog look, maybe it would have been a more appropriate reply. But when I said "I'm as well as I'm ever going to be" was cheerful and actually full of hope. I truly believe in the prospect of continuing this way for years. So that's why I thought her remark was wierd, peculiar, odd and strange. Thanks for the support. Hugs to you all. Gracie
You are not being overly sensitive in re to what was said to you. Not only was her remark wierd, peculiar, odd and strange like you said, but, that is how I would describe her! Your remark was perfect Gracie! You should be hopeful as none of us know what our future holds for us. You most certainly have my support as do all of the women here! Happy Healthy 2010 Gracie!
Love, Jeanne ♥0 -
i have found outm_azingrace said:Thanks!
You ladies are great! I was wondering if I was just being overly-sensitive about the remark. Now I believe it really was a strange thing to say. If I had ansered her with a hang-dog look, maybe it would have been a more appropriate reply. But when I said "I'm as well as I'm ever going to be" was cheerful and actually full of hope. I truly believe in the prospect of continuing this way for years. So that's why I thought her remark was wierd, peculiar, odd and strange. Thanks for the support. Hugs to you all. Gracie
I have found out with having bc people who are your friends don't know what to say most of the time, this new year evening i was up set with the new year coming in and having bc the first thing a friend said to me is you are here, i stop crying and said what? what do you mean i am here? i know i am here i feel the pain. but i guess what they are trying to say i could be dead, they are two diff things all together i didn't know what to say but yes i did want to hit her for saying that but i didn't i just thought wow god there are some dumb people in this world. lol girl power0 -
Dufus ??lanie940 said:I agree, Getting used to
I agree, Getting used to it???? What to the fact we have had cancer? I would have been so tempted to say, maybe someday you will be able to get used to it, you dufus!
Now as far as my Celiac I have now, THAT would be appropriate for someone to say to me "Are you getting used to it" I'd tell them yep, and i bet i could make you something and you wouldn't know it was gluten-free inless I told you!
Now that really made me LOL. (laugh out loud) Not a good thing when at work and I'm trying to look busy.
My answer for everyone asking about how I'm doing is: I'm doing great today. If I weren't doing great that day...I'd be home...so the answer is always completely true.0 -
I have my boxing gloves on Gracie! Just give me her name, a picture of her and an address and I will take care of her for you! Comments like hers go beyond being stupid! She wouldn't be worth it. Maybe she really is that stupid and if she is, then I guess we should feel sorry for her. On the other hand, someone that stupid shouldn't be allowed to speak. Sorry, but what she said really makes me mad. I think that is the "stupidest" remark I have ever heard to a bc survivor. Thinking of you Gracie!MyTurnNow said:Gracie, I agree with many of
Gracie, I agree with many of the comments made here. All I can add is let's move this to the folder on "stupid things people say". This one may take the cake!!
♥ Noel0 -
What do any of those
What do any of those numerous silly remarks ever mean? It simply means to me that if they have not been thru this themselves or walked it closely with someone who has, they will never ever know what this is or what to say to us. Perhaps there are a few wise ones out there fortunate enough not to have to deal with this, who know what to say to us, but truly to this day I havent met anyone that wise.
My prayers are with you Amazing Grace, you could not have been more honest, graceful or positive with your statement to that unknowing, ignorant, poor woman.
Your spirit is uplifting and absolutely joyous. God Bless You!!0 -
Natly says it so much kindernatly15 said:What do any of those
What do any of those numerous silly remarks ever mean? It simply means to me that if they have not been thru this themselves or walked it closely with someone who has, they will never ever know what this is or what to say to us. Perhaps there are a few wise ones out there fortunate enough not to have to deal with this, who know what to say to us, but truly to this day I havent met anyone that wise.
My prayers are with you Amazing Grace, you could not have been more honest, graceful or positive with your statement to that unknowing, ignorant, poor woman.
Your spirit is uplifting and absolutely joyous. God Bless You!!
Natly says it so much kinder than I would. I guess we just need to realize there are some really dumb, insensitive people out there. But, I think what she said to you does take the cake for the stupidest! We are here for you Gracie!
HUGS0 -
7 months into my secondsurvivorbc09 said:Natly says it so much kinder
Natly says it so much kinder than I would. I guess we just need to realize there are some really dumb, insensitive people out there. But, I think what she said to you does take the cake for the stupidest! We are here for you Gracie!
HUGS
7 months into my second diagnosis I am just beginning to tell some people. i just did not want to deal with their reactions and I knew I would internalize it. I wish I had never said a stupid thing but Ihave and most people are like that but some people are just twisted and self centered. I tend to only talk to my close friends. and relatives.Even they do not know details This summer after surgery I was in abookstore with my SIL and she pointed to the book The last lecture and kinda shrugged. At first I was annoyed "what did she mean by that?" then I thought anything you think is none of my business. I do not share the details of my diagnosis with people who dont know how to interpret it. I do it to protect myself. Anyway you were totally "in line" and she was OUT. Hugs to you!0 -
Graciecarkris said:7 months into my second
7 months into my second diagnosis I am just beginning to tell some people. i just did not want to deal with their reactions and I knew I would internalize it. I wish I had never said a stupid thing but Ihave and most people are like that but some people are just twisted and self centered. I tend to only talk to my close friends. and relatives.Even they do not know details This summer after surgery I was in abookstore with my SIL and she pointed to the book The last lecture and kinda shrugged. At first I was annoyed "what did she mean by that?" then I thought anything you think is none of my business. I do not share the details of my diagnosis with people who dont know how to interpret it. I do it to protect myself. Anyway you were totally "in line" and she was OUT. Hugs to you!
Gracie,I am so sorry thaat someone made such a stupid comment...and no,you were not overreacting. Take care. How are you doing on femara?0 -
Good grief
That comment sounds so darn smug. What I have found that I hate the most is pity. Don't assume that my life is bad or worse than yours because I've had a cancer diagnosis. I think she must have taken your response to mean that you're not doing well. But with some people, you can never win. If you say you're having a hard time, you get the pity look. If you say you're doing well, you get the disbelieving look. They just want to think what they want to. You ignore them, Gracie.0 -
Hi Graci.
Strange you had this happen to you,when I went to church Sunday,I decided not to wear my wig.I wore a real warm knitted hat.Like you I have not went to church real often since my treatments started. When I did I always have my wig on.Somedays I am in a different mood and get kind of tired of hiding my almost bald head.I have about an inch of peach fuss.besides the hat felt good it was cold outside here in Ohio.But I got the most pitiful looks.Alot of how are you doing.Most was ok,but some made me feel like they thought I was going to die any minute.I want to think they meen well.And if not they can answer to God for it.Take care,I often wonder how you are.I have 3 more boost treatments and I am done I pray.Take care,try not to let people get you down.I know it is hard but you can do it.Love and Prayers (Pat).0
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