Jan 01, 2010 - 12:01 am
My mum has got terminal cancer, and the Dr has said 6-12 weeks or so left. I have one sister that lives far away and one that lives next door to mum & dad. I live in another country. I just came home for a visit and heard this new prognosis. I am a nurse, and always agreed with mum that I would look after her at home and not put her into a hospital. I have been working in another country for the past couple of years, but my boss agreed that I can work from here as long as I need to so I can be home with mum as long as needed. I really feel I am needed here - mum has a lot of pain and shortness of breath and can't really cook/clean much, and dad's not much help. My little sister is next door but doesn't really offer any help. She works nights and sleeps days.
My older sister is several hours' drive away and I am sure feels left out and anxious since she's not around.
The problem is that my sisters are very jealous and feel that mum has always favored me. I did live at home until I was 30 so mum and I are quite close, also we are both nurses and have always been alike. Anyhow, the sisters are chatting behind my back and making comments to mum about me "rushing back to the country" to take over the care and basically interfering and leaving them out. Honestly this hasn't happened, I've only been here a week and by virtue of staying with mum and dad have been around to clean/take her to appointments.
I just don't know how to handle this. Mum is not interested in hearing arguments as it makes her very upset. I don't want to be worried about what I do and how it upsets the sisters. I do want to care for my mum as she has cared for me all my life and I feel it will be what she wants to stay home with us looking after her. I am lucky that my work is prepared to give me as much time off as I need. It's hard to talk to my sisters because if I approach the subject, they just deny that anything is wrong and suggest I am trying to cause trouble.
What do I do? Any ideas?