Mom just diagnosed with ovarian and uterine cancer
Comments
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Dear Kelly....
I am a cancer newbie myself - diagnosed Sept 17th and started chemo in November, after debulking surgery, bowel re-section, and 16 days in the hospital. I won't lie to you; it was rough.
My daughter and I have times when one of us will get that catch in her voice, then the other will follow suit, and first thing you know, we are full out sobbing like our hearts will break - which of course, they have.
My CA125 before surgery was 4,000 (normal is 0-35). Now, after 3 treatments, it is 53...still high, but a hundred times better than when I started. My kids are betting with each other on what my next number will be. So far, the lowest guess is 5 and the highest is 35. It's a silly game, but it helps keep all of us focused, but in a positive way.
You are right, I suspect, about your mom's fear of the unknown. Not knowing how long you might reasonably expect to live is agonizing. And depressing. And it will drive you crazy. We will all live until we die. I have come to terms with that and your mom will, too. Just give her some time to adjust. In the beginning, the first thought in your head when you wake up in the morning is "I have Cancer". It becomes the thing your whole life revolves around. She won't be able to have her teeth cleaned without a CBC. Can't plan next year's vacation because who knows whether we will be in chemo, in remission, or dealing with a recurrence.
As for success stories, there definitely are some. I have talked to women who have been living with ovarian cancer for 10 years or more..........one for 18 years. Granted, the statistics are grim - the 5 year survival rate is less than 30% - but someone has to be that 30%, and who's to say that one of them won't be your mom?
Encourage your mom not to give up. Never, ever, give up.0 -
Dear Kelly,
Dear Kelly,
I know just how you and your mom feel. Back in May of 2009, I had a CT scan showing tumors on both ovaries. My first thought was, I might as well be dead, but not so. I had surgery in June of 2009. I was in the hospital 11 days and lost 19 pounds, but that is because they will not feed you until you bowels and intestines start moving. Mine took along time to start moving. I have gained all of that weight back, except 5 pounds. I attribute that 5 pounds to everything they removed. I recovered from the surgery, which takes a couple of weeks. I took 6 rounds of chemo, Carbo/Taxol. My last treatment was in November. I am feeling great now. My Ca-125 is a 6. I have had a clear scan, my hair is growing back fast. I also cried and cried buckets of tears. This is a process that you have to be patient about. They will most likely give your mother steroids with the chemo and she will eat everything in sight. I gained all my weight back while I was on chemo. See, so things might look bleak right now, but as time goes on, things will start to get much better. I was on this sight alot and it helped me so much. I also prayed alot, because after all, god is the one that makes all the decisions. Just take a deep breath and try not to worry, this can be a managable cancer. Let us know how your mom is doing and we will help you along the way. Good Luck, Paula0 -
tough times
Yes Kelly it is tough. Being a young mother I was shocked and devastated at learning my diagnosis. I too had an ostomy bag for 5 months. I initally lost 20lbs and was in the hospital for almost 3 weeks. Don't feel like you always have to say something...sometimes just being there for your Mom means more than she can say. Initally, after surgery, I needed help washing and getting dressed. I was 41yrs old and in excellent health! I can just imagine how the grueling surgery is much harder on women who are older than I was. My motivation after surgery was watching my ca125 fall. Every 3 weeks I was excited to find out how low my number went. The chemo will be tough, there is no getting around that. The good news is they have LOTS of great anti nausea medications out there. I was not sick once during my 8 rounds of treatment. I was awfully tired though. So, be supportive by listening and just being there. Take care of yourself too!!!!
Please keep us updated on your Mom.
Oh, btw, people always say to me...'you are handling it so well'. Well, I'm handling it ... what choice to I have?
Good Luck!0 -
Dear Kelly
You have come to the right place for support. I was diagnosed 3/2007 and you can click my picture to read my history. Get your mother a blank page journal that she can start writing down everything, including her feelings. It will come in handy in two years when the memory grows dim and you are looking back to remember what was done when. It took about 2 months for me to come to terms with this diagnosis so know that it will take time to work thru this word, "cancer". Know that many of us just treat it like a chronic disease like heart trouble and live with it. She can too... and come here for questionss you have anytime. (((HUG))) Saundra0 -
you're in good company
Hi Kelly,
There are a lot of us here for our mothers, so you've come to a good place. The lingo takes a while to pick up, but learning more about the disease is important if you want to be the best caregiver. After surgery, your mother's cancer will be rated, or staged, based on what the surgeon saw and did. Stage 1 is early, 4 is pretty late but far from hopeless.
Lots of women start out with bowel obstructions, which is why your mother can't eat. My mother could eat, but had almost constant diarrhea. The surgery makes all that better, though it's a very major operation because the surgeon does a lot of poking around looking for bits of cancer.
The colostomy is not as bad as you might think. The bags are easy and clean to handle, and the whole apparatus is easily camouflaged beneath loose-fitting clothes.
Take it one day at a time, and it will all be okay.0 -
My mom, too...
Hi Kelly,
My mom was diagnosed a month ago (Friday the 13th, no less) with Stage III ovarian cancer. I can relate to how petrified you must be. I believe that we all get one great love of our life, and mine is my mom.
My mom had been in a pretty deep funk as well, which I guess is what is to be expected. She was resisting the chemo, saying we were making her get sick by doing it and she was going to die anyway, so what was the point. HER mom died of pancreatic cancer 30 years ago so her one experience with this disease has been about as bad as it can be. I have tried to be positive but she says we are just lying to her or not telling her everything. She said she's going to haunt us. Nice, mom...
Surprisingly, her first chemo on Tuesday has made her turn around. Yes, the fear of the unknkoown is the worst. She had her treatment, she didn't die, was not in pain - and in fact, met some nice ladies who shared their stories of hope. She's a changed woman so far. Maybe your mom will be the same... She may need to hear she'll be okay from women who are going through the same thing and don't "have" to be positive because they are family, you know?
Whatever happens, the ladies on these boards are an incredible source of wisdom and support. Take care of your mom and take care of YOURSELF. There's no right answer on how you're supposed to act in these situations, just act in love. I'm sending prayers for you and your mom.
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Hello
Hi Kelly,
Oh how I will never forget the day my mother was diagnosed. She was as angry and depressed and freaked as could be. I was terrified and lost. I knew nothing about this cancer and knew no one who had had it. I had no idea what to expect and my mother didn't want to discuss anything. All I could think about was, "how long does she have?". I was convinced this was a death sentence and I would not have her around for x-mas or my 50th birthday. Oh how wrong I was. It was about midnight and I found this board and titled my first post, "Help is anyone there?" When I woke up, Saundra and Bonnie had replied and by the 3rd day, 10 people had responded. This was July 25th. I am no longer freaked. I have learned that this is a chronic disease that needs to be managed. First, the initial disease has to go with a debulking and chemo. Make sure you have an gynecological/oncological surgeon. After that, more chemo, and then....your Mom has an illness that she can live with and still be your Mom!! I am not saying it's easy, but it's doable, and you will learn about the illness and develop a relationship with your mother that you never knew you could have. The women here are also wonderful. They will help and provide support every step along the way. It's an interesting combination of women with OVCA and women taking care of mothers with OVCA and I think we learn a lot from each other's stories. I'm sorry we have to meet this way, but you came to the right place. Keep checking in, and everyone here will send lot of prayers your way!!0 -
HiLisa13Q said:Hello
Hi Kelly,
Oh how I will never forget the day my mother was diagnosed. She was as angry and depressed and freaked as could be. I was terrified and lost. I knew nothing about this cancer and knew no one who had had it. I had no idea what to expect and my mother didn't want to discuss anything. All I could think about was, "how long does she have?". I was convinced this was a death sentence and I would not have her around for x-mas or my 50th birthday. Oh how wrong I was. It was about midnight and I found this board and titled my first post, "Help is anyone there?" When I woke up, Saundra and Bonnie had replied and by the 3rd day, 10 people had responded. This was July 25th. I am no longer freaked. I have learned that this is a chronic disease that needs to be managed. First, the initial disease has to go with a debulking and chemo. Make sure you have an gynecological/oncological surgeon. After that, more chemo, and then....your Mom has an illness that she can live with and still be your Mom!! I am not saying it's easy, but it's doable, and you will learn about the illness and develop a relationship with your mother that you never knew you could have. The women here are also wonderful. They will help and provide support every step along the way. It's an interesting combination of women with OVCA and women taking care of mothers with OVCA and I think we learn a lot from each other's stories. I'm sorry we have to meet this way, but you came to the right place. Keep checking in, and everyone here will send lot of prayers your way!!
Sorry to hear about you mother. I know what she is going through. I was told I had cancer
3 1/2 years ago. My CA-125 was 1400. I had three rounds of chemo and then surgery and was told I was in stage 4. I cried but not for myself. I figured it was a death sentence and if I died no one would want my cat. Funny how we sometimes think. I was at that time 69 so I figured I lived a good life, but no one really wants to die. My count went down to 13 at the lowest. I wasn't fortunate as some because I never really was off of chemo but 2 1/2 months and then my count started up again to 44. My doctor has changed my meds and still it is climing so he ordered another cat scan that didn't really show much change. Two days ago I had another new chemo so I don't know how it will go. I am trying to change my way of eating this time and hope it will help. I love sugar and all I read is that cancer feeds on it so I am eliminating it from my diet. Funny but in the oncologist chemo room there is candy and such. They say nutrition is important, but when you feel sick you don't want to eat. I feel fine for a couple of days and then can't eat for maybe 7. Then I eat like a horse.
I have met a lot of nice women during these past years and the nurses here have been great.
No one knows when their time is up so tell your mom to think on the bright side and try to enjoy life to the fullest. I went on vacation two years in a row and had a great time and just worked around my chemo when I figured I would feel ok. People your mom will meet are great and are going through this the same as she is. I am sending my prayers her way like all the others. May God bless and give her many years to enjoy life with you all.0 -
Welcome, to our discussion BluedairyBluedairy said:Hi
Sorry to hear about you mother. I know what she is going through. I was told I had cancer
3 1/2 years ago. My CA-125 was 1400. I had three rounds of chemo and then surgery and was told I was in stage 4. I cried but not for myself. I figured it was a death sentence and if I died no one would want my cat. Funny how we sometimes think. I was at that time 69 so I figured I lived a good life, but no one really wants to die. My count went down to 13 at the lowest. I wasn't fortunate as some because I never really was off of chemo but 2 1/2 months and then my count started up again to 44. My doctor has changed my meds and still it is climing so he ordered another cat scan that didn't really show much change. Two days ago I had another new chemo so I don't know how it will go. I am trying to change my way of eating this time and hope it will help. I love sugar and all I read is that cancer feeds on it so I am eliminating it from my diet. Funny but in the oncologist chemo room there is candy and such. They say nutrition is important, but when you feel sick you don't want to eat. I feel fine for a couple of days and then can't eat for maybe 7. Then I eat like a horse.
I have met a lot of nice women during these past years and the nurses here have been great.
No one knows when their time is up so tell your mom to think on the bright side and try to enjoy life to the fullest. I went on vacation two years in a row and had a great time and just worked around my chemo when I figured I would feel ok. People your mom will meet are great and are going through this the same as she is. I am sending my prayers her way like all the others. May God bless and give her many years to enjoy life with you all.
Glad to have you join us. I an Stage 4 also and have had 25 chemos and the surgery since 3/2007.
Will be looking for you back. I haven't given up the sugar yet but have heard the same about it feeding cancer cells. Saundra0 -
Dear Kelly,
I see you have received a lot of support and I won't load you down with any more info other than to say you are not alone, there is hope, don't jump ahead, take it one minute and one day at a time. You will make it and your mom is blessed to have a daughter like you beside her all the way!!
Hang in there,
Love and hugs,
kathleen
DX OvCa 3C
6-070 -
BluediaryBluedairy said:Hi
Sorry to hear about you mother. I know what she is going through. I was told I had cancer
3 1/2 years ago. My CA-125 was 1400. I had three rounds of chemo and then surgery and was told I was in stage 4. I cried but not for myself. I figured it was a death sentence and if I died no one would want my cat. Funny how we sometimes think. I was at that time 69 so I figured I lived a good life, but no one really wants to die. My count went down to 13 at the lowest. I wasn't fortunate as some because I never really was off of chemo but 2 1/2 months and then my count started up again to 44. My doctor has changed my meds and still it is climing so he ordered another cat scan that didn't really show much change. Two days ago I had another new chemo so I don't know how it will go. I am trying to change my way of eating this time and hope it will help. I love sugar and all I read is that cancer feeds on it so I am eliminating it from my diet. Funny but in the oncologist chemo room there is candy and such. They say nutrition is important, but when you feel sick you don't want to eat. I feel fine for a couple of days and then can't eat for maybe 7. Then I eat like a horse.
I have met a lot of nice women during these past years and the nurses here have been great.
No one knows when their time is up so tell your mom to think on the bright side and try to enjoy life to the fullest. I went on vacation two years in a row and had a great time and just worked around my chemo when I figured I would feel ok. People your mom will meet are great and are going through this the same as she is. I am sending my prayers her way like all the others. May God bless and give her many years to enjoy life with you all.
Hi Bluediary,
3 1/2 years sounds great to me! I am about 15 months from diagnosis and will be starting my second chemo for my first reoccurence after being off chemo for 8 months. I dont know what the future will bring but I want to live as long as I can.0 -
Sugar!saundra said:Welcome, to our discussion Bluedairy
Glad to have you join us. I an Stage 4 also and have had 25 chemos and the surgery since 3/2007.
Will be looking for you back. I haven't given up the sugar yet but have heard the same about it feeding cancer cells. Saundra
I hate all the information on sugar feeding cancer because it scares me. I too love my sweets. I was told that all food feeds cancer as it is converted into energy to fuel the body. My doctors and nutritionist at Sloan Kettering never said I should give up sugar. I was told anything I put into my mouth will be converted to fuel for the body whether it be spinach or a snickers bar.0 -
Sugarnancy591 said:Sugar!
I hate all the information on sugar feeding cancer because it scares me. I too love my sweets. I was told that all food feeds cancer as it is converted into energy to fuel the body. My doctors and nutritionist at Sloan Kettering never said I should give up sugar. I was told anything I put into my mouth will be converted to fuel for the body whether it be spinach or a snickers bar.
It is nice to hear from you about sugar. I went to a class yesterday and someone bought in a cake for a 97 year old woman's birthday. I gave my piece away like a good girl even tho I was very tempted. Have a couple of weeks to go before I see the doctor and get chemo again. If nothing changed from cutting back on sugar or this new chemo I probably will go eat those frozen cupcakes in my freezer. lol Been having a lot of headaches in the back of my head lately and makes me think of brain tumors. Now that scares me. Just lost a friend this week from pancreatic cancer. Seems that's all you hear lately. Take care and thanks for writing.0 -
sugarBluedairy said:Sugar
It is nice to hear from you about sugar. I went to a class yesterday and someone bought in a cake for a 97 year old woman's birthday. I gave my piece away like a good girl even tho I was very tempted. Have a couple of weeks to go before I see the doctor and get chemo again. If nothing changed from cutting back on sugar or this new chemo I probably will go eat those frozen cupcakes in my freezer. lol Been having a lot of headaches in the back of my head lately and makes me think of brain tumors. Now that scares me. Just lost a friend this week from pancreatic cancer. Seems that's all you hear lately. Take care and thanks for writing.
Initially during my first few rounds of chemo I was eating about 4-5 servings of each of fruit and veggies. I realized that before I got 'sick' I ate healthy. Healthier than most people I know. I asked the nutrionitst and my doctors is ther ANYTHING I can do to increase my odds of beating this. Everything in moderation is what I was told. I know long term cancer survivors who eat awful and have never had a reoccurence. I don't know what the answer is but I know that I am going to eat what I enjoy. In the end I will probably have lots of bowel problems and not be able to eat so I am going to enjoy it now!!!
Good luck to you too!0
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