CSN Login
Members Online: 18

Two Months

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1617
Joined: Aug 2009

Today is a tough day. My husband died two months ago today. The children's Christmas program and the Christmas music at church really got to me. During prayer time I asked for prayers for those still fighting cancer and for those working to find a cure. I got lots of hugs afterward. The tears just kept coming. I was ok, but I just kept leaking. I went to lunch with a friend who lost her 20 year old son to cancer a few years ago and her husband to a heart attack this year. She is amazing. We had a good talk. Friends, especially those who understand where you are, are so important. One older widow told me she was doing ok until two months after her husband died. Then she cried for a month. Another said she wasn't able to go to church during Christmas for about 5 years. Hearing others' experiences makes me feel normal. Take care everyone. You're in my prayers. Fay

cwcad's picture
cwcad
Posts: 117
Joined: Nov 2009

As you will be in mine tonite as well. God Bless you and the words that you have shared. My heart goes out to you.

lisaonthenet
Posts: 68
Joined: Nov 2009

grandmafay,

Sounds like a tough day...but...you held on and grabbed hold of others' who share your experience, pain and strength. I'm glad you have friends to talk to. There's nothing wrong with crying.

You take care too,
Lisa

marywest's picture
marywest
Posts: 135
Joined: Sep 2009

The comments you leave for others bless me so much. With such a great loss of your husband, your interest is in giving and comforting others. I am sorry for those days that bring tears to your eyes. I thank God for tenderly loving you and comforting you. I keep you in my prayers. Your an amazing beautiful woman.

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1617
Joined: Aug 2009

Thanks to all for your kind words. Today is a new day! I'm still feeling a little(?) down, but I'm doing better. I know there will continue to be bad days. I've been warned by many to expect those. I really appreciate these boards, and I appreciate that I go to a warm and caring church where it's ok to cry. Not a single person told me to be strong. Instead, I had others sharing my tears and offering me hugs. A daughter-in-law called in the afternoon just to check in. Once again, I found out how blessed I am to have such a great support system. Take care everyone. I know Christmas is hard. I have been told that by many, too. Fay

pattynonews's picture
pattynonews
Posts: 176
Joined: Aug 2009

I hear you Fay, I am having a hard time, I seen couples and I think that should be Jack and I, It is hard going to mass, because I seen the stain glass window that is pink and purple swirls and it just reminds me of Jack and I was sitting in church and I felt a warm feeling come over me and I knew it was Jack, We are going to Christmas Mass they are dedicating it to Jack so that is going to be hard, I like to talk to the people on this site because they know exactly how we feel, I know my other friends say I know how you feel, but how could they ,they never took care of anyone with cancer and watch them die and loved them so much and now they are gone, And on Jan 4th it will be 2 month since Jack left, I hope I do not go backwards,Because right now going to churh is onw of the things that get me through the week, I miss him so much

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1617
Joined: Aug 2009

I continue to go to church. It really helps me, too. I also appreciate that I don't feel uncomfortable crying there. In fact, others cry with me. As I think I've said before, many members of our church are elderly. Many have lost their partners. I get a lot of support and love. Most of them don't tell me they know how I feel. Instead, they tell me their stories, and it helps.

Your books should be delivered today. I hope you find them helpful. Fay

pattynonews's picture
pattynonews
Posts: 176
Joined: Aug 2009

Thank you so much I started ready the THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD, Thank you again so much

Subscribe with RSS
About Cancer Society

The content on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Do not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease without consulting with a qualified healthcare provider. Please consult your healthcare provider with any questions or concerns you may have regarding your condition. Use of this online service is subject to the disclaimer and the terms and conditions.

Copyright 2000-2014 © Cancer Survivors Network