I know its just hair but....:(

newbiefromcananda
newbiefromcananda Member Posts: 234
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I know Its just hair but I thought I can handle this (maybe that was because I still have it) now I am 13 days post chemo and it is coming out in larger handfuls, I cried....I just think about my big head and being bald.......my husbands christmas party is on fri and I was hoping I could have a goodtime without thinking peolpe were looking at me , I feel like that now I think they can see my scar on my neck and my port sticking out of my chest , doe sthe parinoia go away? thanks everyone you are all truely my best christmas wish this year , I have been getting through all this by reading positive blogs and positive thoughts xoxoxoxoxoxoo
Lisa
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Comments

  • DebbyM
    DebbyM Member Posts: 3,289 Member
    #2
    (((((((((((Lisa)))))))))))))
    You are beautiful inside and out. Remember, beauty isn't just on the outside. I can't really understand how you feel as I didn't have chemo. But, I try to imagine. Do you have some pretty scarves to wear? I have seen some women in theirs and they look beautiful. Why worry what others say, if they even would say anything. They would probably say how beautiful you are, even without hair, and how very brave you are for fighting the beast of bc. That is what I would say! Sending you lots of hugs!

    Debby
  • cindycflynn
    cindycflynn Member Posts: 1,132 Member
    #3
    (((HUGS TO YOU)))
    Lisa -

    I haven't reached that point yet, but I'm not too very far behind you, with my 1st chemo scheduled for next week. I'm lucky in that I should be able to make it through the holidays before mine starts falling out.

    Can you try to find a wig or fancy scarf by Friday? I think there are places taht might even be able to find one for free if you need it. Maybe you could find something you really like and actually feel more glamorous for the party without having to worry about styling your own hair. I know you can get a free head wrap from Francelux, but I'm not sure how quickly they could get it to you.

    Either way, you most definitely ARE a beautiful and strong woman. Wear your head, with whatever covering you end up with, proudly you Warrior Woman you!!
  • Sher43009
    Sher43009 Member Posts: 602 Member
    #4
    Hi Lisa
    I know how you feel.
    Hi Lisa

    I know how you feel. When my hair started coming out, I had my sister and her husband cut my hair then shave my head. I stayed at their house after my chemos. It was more upsetting to have the hair fall out then when it was shaved. I continued to wear makeup everyday and that helped with making me feel better. I didn't do a wig as I hate hats but got some very pretty scarves and bandanas. I found the bandanas are the most comfortable. It's still you only different. People will be looking at you, some will wish you well, some will ask you ?? about your treatment, and some will look away. Most people will go with your lead so relax and have a good time at your party. Hold you head high and be proud that you've come as far as you have.

    Hugs
    Sher
  • teresa41
    teresa41 Member Posts: 471
    #5
    Sher43009 said:

    Hi Lisa
    I know how you feel.
    Hi Lisa

    I know how you feel. When my hair started coming out, I had my sister and her husband cut my hair then shave my head. I stayed at their house after my chemos. It was more upsetting to have the hair fall out then when it was shaved. I continued to wear makeup everyday and that helped with making me feel better. I didn't do a wig as I hate hats but got some very pretty scarves and bandanas. I found the bandanas are the most comfortable. It's still you only different. People will be looking at you, some will wish you well, some will ask you ?? about your treatment, and some will look away. Most people will go with your lead so relax and have a good time at your party. Hold you head high and be proud that you've come as far as you have.

    Hugs
    Sher

    i cried to
    hi my hair was long when i started chemo i cried every morning in the shower as i watched it fill the drain and i finally had it shaved and cried some more. i have a wig but hate wearing it i wear fleece hats now that its getting colder.wore bandannas in the summer. my dr had a pep talk with me and told me i was wearing my badge of courage by losing my hair it did help me feel better .you hang in there and hope this helps....teresa
  • marywest
    marywest Member Posts: 132
    #6
    teresa41 said:

    i cried to
    hi my hair was long when i started chemo i cried every morning in the shower as i watched it fill the drain and i finally had it shaved and cried some more. i have a wig but hate wearing it i wear fleece hats now that its getting colder.wore bandannas in the summer. my dr had a pep talk with me and told me i was wearing my badge of courage by losing my hair it did help me feel better .you hang in there and hope this helps....teresa

    turbins
    I was able to find a couple of really nice turbins and wraped different colored head bands around them for color. I bought me an expensive wig but hated it. A friend made me several beautiful scarves that i was able to tie behind my head and that was comfortable. If the people at the party see your port, you know they see it, be proud who you are, and for the fact your at a party fighting chemo, my gosh. I learned how to close my ears and not take things to heart what people said to me. After some of them knew I had cancer they had the stupidity to tell me of thier sisters or moms who died from it. We cant stop what people will say we can only stop how long your going to keep it in your heart. You are pretty, and no matte what you wear your beautiful. Your head will be sore while your hair falls out, it will go away. It is hurts to lose your hair, I hated it but there is no choice. You will feel better once its over. Hang in there and enjoy the christmas party the best you can, like I said you are really pretty and be proud of who you are.
  • Mama G
    Mama G Member Posts: 762
    #7
    marywest said:

    turbins
    I was able to find a couple of really nice turbins and wraped different colored head bands around them for color. I bought me an expensive wig but hated it. A friend made me several beautiful scarves that i was able to tie behind my head and that was comfortable. If the people at the party see your port, you know they see it, be proud who you are, and for the fact your at a party fighting chemo, my gosh. I learned how to close my ears and not take things to heart what people said to me. After some of them knew I had cancer they had the stupidity to tell me of thier sisters or moms who died from it. We cant stop what people will say we can only stop how long your going to keep it in your heart. You are pretty, and no matte what you wear your beautiful. Your head will be sore while your hair falls out, it will go away. It is hurts to lose your hair, I hated it but there is no choice. You will feel better once its over. Hang in there and enjoy the christmas party the best you can, like I said you are really pretty and be proud of who you are.

    Is your hair still that long?
    (in that beautiful picture) If so, cut it asap. It will seem way less depressing (and less messy, too) to lose short hair. Especially if you're like me, I NEVER had short hair in my life til I cut it for chemo. At first I hated it and thought, GOOD, it's gunna be GONE anyways. Then I started getting used to it and liking it just in time to say goodbye to it. Mine took a month to fall out, so I had the luxury of getting used to it day by day.
    I wore hats/caps and a little hair was always sticking out the bottom and sides. My fifth grade class LoVEd it! I would show them a glimpse of what it looks like as it got balder and balder and they would love me anyways. I'm blessed....
  • Calleen
    Calleen Member Posts: 411
    #8
    teresa41 said:

    i cried to
    hi my hair was long when i started chemo i cried every morning in the shower as i watched it fill the drain and i finally had it shaved and cried some more. i have a wig but hate wearing it i wear fleece hats now that its getting colder.wore bandannas in the summer. my dr had a pep talk with me and told me i was wearing my badge of courage by losing my hair it did help me feel better .you hang in there and hope this helps....teresa

    I am
    So sorry that you are losing your hair.. Dealing with the cruelties of Cancer is so hard to deal with. BUT remember you are a very strong brave Woman. Go to the party hold your head high and let them stare if they feel they must. Your grace will shine and show others what a true lady you are.. Have a good time and enjoy yourself!!

    Calleen
  • natly15
    natly15 Member Posts: 1,941
    #9
    Lisa you are not alone.
    Lisa you are not alone. Welcome to the "beautiful baldy" club. I couldnt stand the hair falling out, so my husband and I cut the rest of what was left. I have a few fuzzies, but basically chemo bald. I have a wig that I wear for special occasions. If you dont have one, you could go out and get one for the party. My hair was falling out all over the place, blowing away with the wind outside, and I just decided I'd had enuff. I've been bald since Oct 20. If you wear makeup and jewlery, be sure to wear more of it now. It helps me to feel glamorous. i can see my port thru my blouses, but I'll bet that I'm the only who can see it, because I know its there. On ordinary days I wear scarfs or hats, and try to remind myself that this a temporary set of circumstances. you are a beautiful lady, and as said, beauty is far more than the exterior. Go to that party with confidence, knowing you are one strong,beautiful lady who is fighting a nasty beast. Dont be self conscious, be self caring, love yourself, and enjoy that party you chemo warrior!!
  • ppurdin
    ppurdin Member Posts: 1,181
    #10
    hair
    Oh lisa,it is more then hair to us.its who we are and the way people see us.It seams like such a long time since i have had hair.Its been two months.And the dear sisters on this sight helped me thru. it.I thought it would be the end of me.I don,t have a small face.So I truly don,t look good bald. But I watched it keep coming out in handfulls.And like you I cryed and cryed.I finally took advice of others on this sight and shaved it.And it felt good taking charge.They have some beatiful wigs and scarfs.I have never made a scarf look good on me.at first I wouldn,t let anyone see me with nothing on my head.But now I run around the house without anything.You will get through it.if I am in a hurry to go some where I put this like bandana hat on and wear it.I don,t worry about what people think anymore.I never thought I would feel this way.Its not like we ask for this horible Illnes.Good luck.Love and prayers9Pat).Please try to remember that it is only temporary.
  • Jeanne D
    Jeanne D Member Posts: 1,867
    #11
    Calleen said:

    I am
    So sorry that you are losing your hair.. Dealing with the cruelties of Cancer is so hard to deal with. BUT remember you are a very strong brave Woman. Go to the party hold your head high and let them stare if they feel they must. Your grace will shine and show others what a true lady you are.. Have a good time and enjoy yourself!!

    Calleen

    Lisa ♥
    ♥
    Lisa, I am so very sorry that this has happened to you. Chemo is cruel, but, there is an end to it. Try to focus on that..the end of chemo. The only reason anyone would stare at you would be to admire your beauty and your strength.

    Love, Jeanne ♥
  • mizcaldwell
    mizcaldwell Member Posts: 143
    #12
    Earrings!
    My hair hasn't all fallen out - but what was left was so scruffy that I shaved it off. I tried a wig, too, but didn't like the way it felt. For the party, you could try a wig - or a cool turban - and then get some really gorgeous, big earrings - it takes the focus off the top of the head and brings it lower! I've been wearing much bigger earrings with the scarves and things - and it helps!

    It is hard - and can be embarrassing - but try not to focus on what others' may think - if they are mean, rude or inconsiderate - you don't really need them in your sphere of influence right now - you need positivity.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you - I know what it's like!


    Lori
  • meena1
    meena1 Member Posts: 1,003
    #13
    ppurdin said:

    hair
    Oh lisa,it is more then hair to us.its who we are and the way people see us.It seams like such a long time since i have had hair.Its been two months.And the dear sisters on this sight helped me thru. it.I thought it would be the end of me.I don,t have a small face.So I truly don,t look good bald. But I watched it keep coming out in handfulls.And like you I cryed and cryed.I finally took advice of others on this sight and shaved it.And it felt good taking charge.They have some beatiful wigs and scarfs.I have never made a scarf look good on me.at first I wouldn,t let anyone see me with nothing on my head.But now I run around the house without anything.You will get through it.if I am in a hurry to go some where I put this like bandana hat on and wear it.I don,t worry about what people think anymore.I never thought I would feel this way.Its not like we ask for this horible Illnes.Good luck.Love and prayers9Pat).Please try to remember that it is only temporary.

    Yes, we all cried when we
    Yes, we all cried when we lost our hair. It is not just hair, it is a part of you. I cried also, and my daughter sobbed when she saw it, so i never let anyone else see me bald. The good news is that my hair grew back awesome! It came back thick and curly..still was not worth it! Take care
  • laurissa
    laurissa Member Posts: 773
    #14
    Hi Lisa
    It's a difficult time, it still is for me. We know what you're going through.
  • Kat11
    Kat11 Member Posts: 1,931 Member
    #15
    laurissa said:

    Hi Lisa
    It's a difficult time, it still is for me. We know what you're going through.

    I have had no hair since the
    I have had no hair since the end of July. I hate it. I have a wig, but its hot to wear. My scarfs are sliding off my head. I can't find the strenth to walk around bald. I lost my lashes and brows a few weeks ago. I have finished with Taxol and can't wait for my hair to come back. You will get through it. Your not alone. Hugs
  • Marlene_K
    Marlene_K Member Posts: 508
    #16
    Find the positive!
    Sometimes we feel so alone as it seems when we look around, no one else appears to be going through the same thing. I didn't go one day past my hair starting to fall out in clumps... I couldn't bear it. I thought I was prepared until it happened. I cried hard for maybe less than an hour and then I know I had to do something. I couldn't bear another minute never mind another day of having this happen. I HATED the wig I bought. A very good friend of mine came over and I went to a wig shop. I explained what was going on and the lady was extremely understanding. She said she was willing to try wigs on me the entire day if that's what it took until I was completely happy with a wig. It turns out I bought the very first one I tried on as it seems that was the one that everyone boasted about the most and I thought it looked very natural as well. I get compliments almost daily and some from the same people that continue to tell me how great it looks. Many have said that this style looks better than my own and people that don't know anything at all have said how great my hair looks. Caps are also in style, so I've also gone with that look at times. Make-up is important because it helps us look healthier.

    Lisa, make a positive out of a negative. Of course, this stinks, but we have no choice. Make the best of it and you will find a way to be happy with what you are dealing with. We hear it all the time, but it IS only temporary. I sometimes find myself worried about my hair coming back now because I'm not sure I could get it to look like the wig I have, lol.

    I've said it before and I'll say it again... you're gorgeous, Lisa, and I know you will find what works for you and you're gonna knock them dead at that Christmas party!

    With love & much understanding, Mar
  • dyaneb123
    dyaneb123 Member Posts: 950
    #17
    Hey Lisa
    I don't like my
    Hey Lisa
    I don't like my bald head either. I have chosen to wear a pretty wig for the duration and I get so many compliments on my "hair"....if you have the money to invest in a nice wig, you can probably get one that is very similar in style and color to your own hair. If money is an issue, go to the ACS office near you. They give away free wigs that people have donated. Now that its cold, you can get away with a hat for shopping and running errands too. So going bald is a choice. Some of us are comfortable with it,some not. You do what makes you feel good. And it will grow back. I've been out of chemo for 2 months and have probably 3/4 of an inch sprouting!In a couple of months I'll be ready for the
    "spikes".
    Dee
  • brenda247
    brenda247 Member Posts: 124
    #18
    i understand
    yes i understand and have been there. its hard by all means. i lost my hair very first treatment after 3 weeks and i thought i couldnt handle it. it will get better just think it will grow back mine finally growing back now and everyone has told me it will be better than before.. you are a very special person inside and out no matter what you hold your head high and you will get through this..

    brenda
    HUUUGGGSSS!!!
  • pattimc
    pattimc Member Posts: 431
    #19
    So sorry....
    I'm so sorry you're having a tough time. I remember saying "it's only hair..it will grow back" but when it happened, well, it was devasting. I have a port too and sometimes it shows, but it is what it is and if someone wants to stare at it go for it. I also remember my first outing with a scarf on. Unfortunately it was a funeral for a friend who had battled many types of cancer for several years. I was so nervous but I had to be there. It was the first time I saw alot of my friends since losing my hair. Everyone just hugged me and cried with me. It was cathartic to say the least. Even strangers that were there just seemed to understand what I was going through and were very compassionate.

    So, throw back your shoulders, hold your head up high and go to the party! My husband is proud of me when we are out in public because he knows the battle I'm having. I'm sure your husband will be, too.

    Best wishes to you.
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    #20
    Lisa, I'm sorry you have to
    Lisa, I'm sorry you have to go through this. I have been through chemo and have not had hair since August. I don't wear wigs because they just were not comfortable to me. I found a website that sells some beautiful headwraps, they call them beau beau's. They come in silk and linen and have a multitude of colors and patterns. I purchase several and wear one every day. The site I'm referring to is www.4women.com. They usually ship the day you order so you could have one delivered in time for your party. Good luck as you get through this part of the treatment. Once the initial shock is over, you'll get used to seeing yourself bald and it won't be as traumatic as it is now. We'll be with you every step of the way. Hugs!!
  • taleena
    taleena Member Posts: 1,612 Member
    #21
    Lisa... I can only imagine
    Lisa... I can only imagine how hard it must be... but know that your beauty will radiate around you... your smile, and the twinkle in your eye... I admire your streangth and know you are in my thoughts.

    Hugs,

    ~T

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