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can't fall in love? or feel? (after having cancer)

organicgal
Posts: 2
Joined: Dec 2009

Hi, everyone!
This might be weird, but I feel like having cancer had a really strong emotional long-term effect on me. I just finished all my treatment for ALL this fall.

During the treatment, I hung out with this guy once, who I had a huge crush on for years, and I didn't feel a thing. It's weird because only a few months passed... At first I thought that I just moved on, even though it didn't feel like it. It's like my mind liked him, but my heart is dead, like I can't feel anything anymore.

Since cancer affects hormones, and just emotions, can it be connected?
I know it sounds strange... but I tried dating people, and even if my mind likes them - my heart doesn't feel a thing. I've been also feeling less happiness etc, even when I'm with my friends. I have stopped feeling anything. Period.

I wonder if it was/is my way to cope with being a cancer survivor. I probably should talk to a psychologist but I don't think he/she may understand if that person didn't have cancer. It's something you have to go through to understand...

Anyway, has anyone had similar emotional problems? Not being able to fall in love or open yourself up to another person?

AmandaMarie29's picture
AmandaMarie29
Posts: 55
Joined: Nov 2009

I haven't been through the same thing as you because I am just starting out my journey. It probably would be a great idea to talk to a psychologist about what you are or are not feeling. My guess is that mabey through this whole process you have been going through, you have kind of "turned off" your emotions as a way of coping with everything. Now that it is over you need to turn everything back "on"...Did you talk about process while you were going through it or did you kind of suppress it?

organicgal
Posts: 2
Joined: Dec 2009

No, I didn't talk to anyone about any problems for about 2.5 years...
It's very like me to just close myself :(

AmandaMarie29's picture
AmandaMarie29
Posts: 55
Joined: Nov 2009

Well there you go then. You are totally capable of opening up and loving someone, you just have to learn how to. If it is too difficult to do on your own, there are people who can help you. Don't give up on it if it's difficult at first because it is something that you have to work for. It will be worth it in the long run though :) If you need someone to talk to you feel free to ask me anything! You WILL be just fine...

Mandi

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