Dec 04, 2009 - 11:55 pm
My name is Josh,
I am going on 27, and my mom has been gone since March 25, 2003. She was my best friend, the person who instilled everything good about me, and my favorite person to talk to because she understood better than anyone else. I buried all the pain for 5 years only for it to surface when drunk. Once moving to Southern California it all started to come out and I did counseling through my school. I am in a reallly good position compared to where I have been. The one thing that I struggle with moving past though is the anger. Anger towards this disease that I could do nothing to fight, and anger for such a beautiful person to go through that pain. I am tired of being angry, but it runs so deep, and strong. I think I am finally ready to fully let go of her and the anger.
I don't know how to move on at this point. I think getting on here is a good step. I would like to find others to relate to, help even. It is taking its toll on me. I do not want my moms death to become my cancer though.