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exhausted and lonely

onlyhuman
Posts: 102
Joined: Sep 2009

It all happened so fast. On 10 Nov we found out that the tumour had recurred and metastasized. Paramjeet was already deteriorating by this time and so we were expecting bad news ...not the catastrophic news we received. His tumour has spread to four parts of the brain. Surgery is not an option anymore. On 17 Nov Paramjeet lost all mobility. He was rushed to hospital and his dex was increased. No change. 22 Nov he was moved into a palliative care unit. Because he has other complications I have to accept the fact that I will not be able to bring him home. He has not eaten for a week and has been asleep for the last 2 days. His breathing is laboured. I sit with him for 12 hours during the day and then head home to spend the night with our 2 girls aged 3 and 9. I spend all day waiting for him to open his eyes. It seems that on alternate days he has a few minutes of clarity. He is comfortable. Both sides of the family have been giving me grief. Everyone seems to want my strength but noone is lending me a shoulder to lean on. I feel so alone ...why can noone understand the pain I am going through.

marywest's picture
marywest
Posts: 135
Joined: Sep 2009

I am so sorry what you are going through, I wish I could fly down and be there for you and your girls. I am praying right now and will not stop for you. I can not imagine the burden your heart is carrying right now. Family has no right to give you any kind of grief, people get selfish and think only of themselves, I am angry about that, but we have no control what others do, we just have to control how long it lingers in our mind. I am hoping the girls are with someone who can love them and watch over them real good while your with your husband. You need all the time you can with him, his living hours are critical to you. My arms around you right now as I am writing, and i am thanking God to protect you from negative people, you need all the love and support you can get right now. You got me, and there will be others from this site loving you through this. Even tho we can not physicaly be there with you we are in love and spirit. I am going to give you my phone number, if you ever and I mean ever need to talk you can call me collect, 907 262-9808, do what you gotta do, my heart and prayers are with you.

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1611
Joined: Aug 2009

This is a very tough time for you. It is lonely because the one you always share tough moments with isn't able to be there for you. You're lonely because no one else there is going through the same thing you are at the same time. They probably can't understand. Don't let others give you grief. Just do what you think is right because it is your responsibility to do what's right for your husband, your children and you. No one knows better than you what that is. Come here and vent with us. We are here for you. I know this is a very lonely road, but some of us have been through similar things recently. My prayers are with you. Fay

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