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Restaged cervical cancer

sweetlila
Posts: 2
Joined: Nov 2009

I rushed to the emergency room for bleeding and abdominal pain. The doctor did a pelvic and said: "You have polyps" then after a short pause he followed with: "Or worse". Then removed the speculum and left the room. A short while later the nurse returned with a shot of demorol(?) and a pamphlet of local OB/GYN's. When I started to sign the release paper acoss the bottom in large letters it read: "CERVICAL CANCER". The nurse gave me a shot and left the room. I was released to drive myself home. After a few days of deciding what would happen to my children, I got in to see my doctor.
She was wonderful at putting my fears to rest. She performed a hystorectomy and when my results came back she told me it was in fact cancer and sent me to a specialist because of the type of cancer it is. I saw a wonderful team of 3 doctors. After 6 weeks of radiation, 6 weeks of chemo and several internal radiations, I was released and attempted to return to a normal life.
That was '07. Three months ago, I started coughing. My family doctor did a chest x-ray and found abnormalities. He sent my back to the same doctors who had treated me before. I've been told very little other than my treatment plans. I am unable to join the clinical trials so I have chemo 3 days straight every 3 weeks. I had a ct and mri last week and the cancer is bigger.
I've read everything I can about this but without the information from my doctors I dont know what to look for. Can someone tell me what I should ask. Am I treatable, am I going to die?
I know so many have it worse than I but I'm having suicidal thoughts and dont know where to turn.

beckyracn's picture
beckyracn
Posts: 323
Joined: May 2009

Sweetlila,
It sounds as if your going through a really rough patch at this time. You don't say what they found other than abnormalities on a chest xray. I don't have any answers for you, but I can offer an ear to listen. It sounds like you really need to seek professional help if your having suicidal thoughts. I've found myself wishing at times that I'd never gone through treatments, because the side effects of the treatments often have me living a life where life is horrendous...then the body starts to balance itself...I start feeling better...and life goes on. Trying to live this "new normal" can be very frustrating at times. I hope you find the answers you are seeking...keep posting...we will be here for you!
((HUGS))

kellygr's picture
kellygr
Posts: 8
Joined: Nov 2009

Take a deep breath, and then keep reminding yourself to breeth. Request the information from the Doctors. Get a copy of your medical file. . . . Ask that they be emailed to you. . . tell your medical team that you do not understand, even tho you've been thru 'cancer treatment' before. . . this is your first time with this new issue, that this is all new and scary to you. And then on your next appointment take a family member or a friend to take notes or record the meetings so that you can obsorb them at your own pace.

cobeller's picture
cobeller
Posts: 6
Joined: Dec 2009

I want to share with you that your life is not over. You see, you just need to put your faith in someone who has it all under control. Sometimes we are blinded by the fact that we think that nothing bad is ever going to happen to us and we then do not prepare for such events. One of the things Sweetilla that I have learned with my cancer is that we really never know what plans God has for our lives. We must always be aware of what our purpose on this earth really is. I have found it helpful to take the focus off of my pain by trying to help others with the time God has given me on this earth. Sometimes God uses situations to improve our lives and when you come out of this, I bet you will be changed forever. Whether this has been to show you something in your own life, or to see what you might be able to offer others with your near death experience; let me tell you Cancer is not the end, it is only the beginning to see how preciuos our time is here on earth and that we should use it wisely.

I don't know what your faith is but let me tell you Sweetilla that God loves you so very much and he never intended I am certain, for you to have feelings of suicide and helplessness. Try to look at things differently, "for he has not given us a spirit of fear, but of peace and of sound mind"(The Bible). Fear and hopelessness are from the enemy who is out to rob, kill, and destroy. If I could offer you any other advise it would be to kick that devil in the teeth and tell him-shout-it out that he does not have control over your destingy an that you belong to God; therefore he cannot do a single thing to you that God doesn't have under control. If you have not asked Jesus into your heart let me begin by telling you that its never to late. He loves you and he created you and "he'll take you back always". If you every need a prayer beyond the ones I am going to give you daily, please don't hesitate....I am here for you.

Blessings in Christ, please keep me updated, I'd love to pray with you if you'd like:)

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