newbie needs pratical advice
Comments
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Advice
Ms Independent,
Over-sized button-up shirt is the only way to go. You may have difficulty raising your arms above your head for a while and the drain tubes can be a pain if you have to deal with them and putting your arms up. I had two sets of button-up pajamas and a bunch of button-up shirts to wear while I was recovering.
I needed help washing my hair and showering for about two weeks. My husband helped me every day and it wasn't too bad. One thing that helped me was to put some cloth like a towel over my neck (I used one of my husband's long tube socks) to attach the drain bulbs. That way when I took a shower or changed my shirt I didn't have to also hold onto the drain bulbs at the same time.
My only other advice is to get any help you can - especially with meals and household chores. I didn't think getting meals was a big deal until I was in radiation and it took all my strength just to go grocery shopping let alone make the food when I got home. Although my husband and kids made the food, it would have been nice if other people had continued to bring things over (and visit me).
Good luck with your surgery and continue to keep us posted!0 -
thanks so much for the greatWolfi said:Advice
Ms Independent,
Over-sized button-up shirt is the only way to go. You may have difficulty raising your arms above your head for a while and the drain tubes can be a pain if you have to deal with them and putting your arms up. I had two sets of button-up pajamas and a bunch of button-up shirts to wear while I was recovering.
I needed help washing my hair and showering for about two weeks. My husband helped me every day and it wasn't too bad. One thing that helped me was to put some cloth like a towel over my neck (I used one of my husband's long tube socks) to attach the drain bulbs. That way when I took a shower or changed my shirt I didn't have to also hold onto the drain bulbs at the same time.
My only other advice is to get any help you can - especially with meals and household chores. I didn't think getting meals was a big deal until I was in radiation and it took all my strength just to go grocery shopping let alone make the food when I got home. Although my husband and kids made the food, it would have been nice if other people had continued to bring things over (and visit me).
Good luck with your surgery and continue to keep us posted!
thanks so much for the great advice.0 -
What Horrible Timing!
Not that ANY time is a good time to find out you have cancer, of course! However, I can't imagine finding out right after I've moved to a place where I don't know anyone.
Do you have a church home in your new town? Many churches are really good about helping even brand-new members; often all you need to do is go see the pastoral care person or the minister and let them know how isolated you feel and the challenge you're facing. I haven't been the best attendee at my church, but many people have offered their help, and I've seen the help they offer to new people.
I wish you all the best--this is not an easy road to travel without physical support from others. We're here for emotional support, but that's not always enough, though we could wish it were!
Sandy0 -
I did not have a bilateral, but...
I had a radical mastectomy of my left breast. I did buy the camisole and returned it. I had it done in August so I thought it was appropriate as it was sleeveless and it seemed appropriate, but I didn't like the look at all. It was white and the pads shows and although I tried it on BEFORE surgery, I didn't imagine it would have hidden the drains all that well. It cost $40 plus and I didn't think it was worth it. Before surgery, I shopped at a local thrift shop and purchased a bunch of big, button up shirts and I was happy I did. If you don't like them baggie, you can tie them up at the bottom with a tank top underneath... it helps conceal the drains a bit. Just don't go crazy on buying a bunch of them because the time really is short and I found I probably won't wear many of them again. My hospital gave me a holder for my drains while I showered. They had a group of ladies that made them. It was simply a 'pocket' made out of cloth with strings on either side to tie around my neck... it wasn't waterproof but it really didn't matter. I hung it to dry after my shower and it was ready to go for the next time. This helped A LOT.
You are very fortunate you have a husband to help you with daily needs but I believe you will be amazed at how quickly you recover and how little you will need help with. I think one thing I didn't realize is that most of the nerves are cut during surgery so the pain isn't nearly what you might imagine. Please make sure to follow any exercise routine you are given as I feel that helped tremendously with my recovery.
I'm sure you will make new friends in your new town, but in the meantime, come here with any and all questions you may have. You will be amazed at the wealth of information you can get from all the strong, knowledgeable and loving survivors here. It is truly a blessing you found this site... I know I feel I was lead here and am ever so grateful.
Please stay connected and let us know how you make out... we care.
Hugs ~ Mar0 -
Help after surgery
Welcome to the site, but sorry that you had to discover it this way. You'll find some very wise women (and a couple of men) who have wonderful advice.
Check with your insurance and see if they'd allow a home care nurse to come visit 1 or 2 times after you get home. And ask you Dr. to order it. They can teach you how to do some of the things you're asking about, plus monitor your drains and incision(s). Make sure you ask your Dr. before showering. Some don't want you to do it while you still have drains in, and some have some restrictions on how, how often, or when you can start.
I had a mastectomy, and found that button down shirts were absolutely indispensible. Remember, if you pin your drains to your p.j.'s (they usually have little tabs that the pin attaches to), pin it to the tops, and not the bottoms so you won't pull them when you go to the potty and lower your drawers! (sounds funny, but not so funny if you forget!)
Good luck, sounds like you're really planning ahead---you'll do fine!
Hugs,
Jan0 -
churchLadyParvati said:What Horrible Timing!
Not that ANY time is a good time to find out you have cancer, of course! However, I can't imagine finding out right after I've moved to a place where I don't know anyone.
Do you have a church home in your new town? Many churches are really good about helping even brand-new members; often all you need to do is go see the pastoral care person or the minister and let them know how isolated you feel and the challenge you're facing. I haven't been the best attendee at my church, but many people have offered their help, and I've seen the help they offer to new people.
I wish you all the best--this is not an easy road to travel without physical support from others. We're here for emotional support, but that's not always enough, though we could wish it were!
Sandy
Thanks Sandy,We have talked about finding a church but, haven't done it yet. Guess we better get to it. Thanks for the great suggestion.
Ella0 -
BillsNorcalJ said:Help after surgery
Welcome to the site, but sorry that you had to discover it this way. You'll find some very wise women (and a couple of men) who have wonderful advice.
Check with your insurance and see if they'd allow a home care nurse to come visit 1 or 2 times after you get home. And ask you Dr. to order it. They can teach you how to do some of the things you're asking about, plus monitor your drains and incision(s). Make sure you ask your Dr. before showering. Some don't want you to do it while you still have drains in, and some have some restrictions on how, how often, or when you can start.
I had a mastectomy, and found that button down shirts were absolutely indispensible. Remember, if you pin your drains to your p.j.'s (they usually have little tabs that the pin attaches to), pin it to the tops, and not the bottoms so you won't pull them when you go to the potty and lower your drawers! (sounds funny, but not so funny if you forget!)
Good luck, sounds like you're really planning ahead---you'll do fine!
Hugs,
Jan
I think you have gotten many good advises on care.
I would like to touch other subject.
Your bills, including credit cards, electricity, phone, house, everything you have to pay over the next 4 weeks try to do before your surgery. You and your husband will have no time and focus to take care of financial and other 'usual" responsibilities. Any unfinished business you want to be done. You will be better just concentrating on recovery only. We actually changed a mobile phone plan increasing minutes, so I was able to talk as much as I need.
You need to store food, water and other fluids.After my mastectomy we used a lot frozen and canned vegetables.
Button-down shirts are the key. Even 14 months after the surgery I am still using button down shirt. I give away all of my t-shirs and sweat shirts.
Good Luck0 -
Very glad you asked forNew Flower said:Bills
I think you have gotten many good advises on care.
I would like to touch other subject.
Your bills, including credit cards, electricity, phone, house, everything you have to pay over the next 4 weeks try to do before your surgery. You and your husband will have no time and focus to take care of financial and other 'usual" responsibilities. Any unfinished business you want to be done. You will be better just concentrating on recovery only. We actually changed a mobile phone plan increasing minutes, so I was able to talk as much as I need.
You need to store food, water and other fluids.After my mastectomy we used a lot frozen and canned vegetables.
Button-down shirts are the key. Even 14 months after the surgery I am still using button down shirt. I give away all of my t-shirs and sweat shirts.
Good Luck
Very glad you asked for advice on your coming surgery. My surgery isn't scheduled yet but I was wondering about these same things. Looks like a lot of good ideas have been posted and hope it helps you. I'm going to save all this so I won't have to ask the same questions later. Thanks!0 -
great ideaNew Flower said:Bills
I think you have gotten many good advises on care.
I would like to touch other subject.
Your bills, including credit cards, electricity, phone, house, everything you have to pay over the next 4 weeks try to do before your surgery. You and your husband will have no time and focus to take care of financial and other 'usual" responsibilities. Any unfinished business you want to be done. You will be better just concentrating on recovery only. We actually changed a mobile phone plan increasing minutes, so I was able to talk as much as I need.
You need to store food, water and other fluids.After my mastectomy we used a lot frozen and canned vegetables.
Button-down shirts are the key. Even 14 months after the surgery I am still using button down shirt. I give away all of my t-shirs and sweat shirts.
Good Luck
Great idea about the bills, I hadn't really thought about that. I had thought about the food but, not about the liquids---duh. Though it might do me good to run out of diet soda----need to drink more water. Thanks so much!0 -
Hi therems_independent said:great idea
Great idea about the bills, I hadn't really thought about that. I had thought about the food but, not about the liquids---duh. Though it might do me good to run out of diet soda----need to drink more water. Thanks so much!
Ms... Button, velcro or zip up fronts are the best answer. I couldn't move my right arm after my Lumpectomy...Front fastening is the only way..........
I hope you will be OK, you are incredibly strong.............Hugs Jxxxxxxx0 -
I just had the same proceduretasha_111 said:Hi there
Ms... Button, velcro or zip up fronts are the best answer. I couldn't move my right arm after my Lumpectomy...Front fastening is the only way..........
I hope you will be OK, you are incredibly strong.............Hugs Jxxxxxxx
I just had a double mastectomy with sentinal node sampling and tissue expanders 18 days ago. Absolutely yes to the button up shirts. Anything that goes over your head will be difficult because it's hard to raise your arms over your head. I bought some very stretchy tank top type shirts that have worked well since the drains came out and then added light zipper hoodies. I found yoga pants very comfortable also and easy to pull up when your arms are hurting. I was very anxious to get the drains out, but have had swelling and more pain since they came out. I still need help washing hair, showering, etc. Hopefully, your husband will have a good sense of humor. My boyfriend has been great and jokes alot about all the "woman's work". Good luck to you!!0 -
Ella, I had a lumpectomy,KBushart said:I just had the same procedure
I just had a double mastectomy with sentinal node sampling and tissue expanders 18 days ago. Absolutely yes to the button up shirts. Anything that goes over your head will be difficult because it's hard to raise your arms over your head. I bought some very stretchy tank top type shirts that have worked well since the drains came out and then added light zipper hoodies. I found yoga pants very comfortable also and easy to pull up when your arms are hurting. I was very anxious to get the drains out, but have had swelling and more pain since they came out. I still need help washing hair, showering, etc. Hopefully, your husband will have a good sense of humor. My boyfriend has been great and jokes alot about all the "woman's work". Good luck to you!!
Ella, I had a lumpectomy, but, wanted to say good luck to you and that I hope everything goes well and that you have a speedy recovery. Looks like you have some good advice here.0 -
Thankssusie09 said:Ella, I had a lumpectomy,
Ella, I had a lumpectomy, but, wanted to say good luck to you and that I hope everything goes well and that you have a speedy recovery. Looks like you have some good advice here.
Thanks again everybody. I just got my surgery date----Tuesday-12/15. I'm trying to figure out what to do about having someone fly out to help out post-op (lots of family/friends have offered). 2 weeks before xmas is asking a lot, the week of xmas------maybe asking too much???
I really want my husband to stay home with me the week of surgery--thats when I'll be the most vulnerable and needy. He will do whatever I need/want him to do. But, if he stays that week then the next week is x-mas week. He'll get so behind at work and I'm sure I'll be needing him to miss more time with Dr visits etc. So, I've got lots of thinking to do. I HATE having to depend on other people----maybe that's my lesson.0 -
I'll chime in
On the necessity of button-down shirts -- I bought a couple of men's style (from LL Bean) in chambray and flannel and I literally lived in them the week after surgery. Now (2 .5 weeks post surgery I'm in loose turtlenecks and t-shirts (it gets chilly up here in Seattle, WA).
If you don't want to hassle about food -- make a lot of nutritious casserole or easy-to-reheat meals and freeze them beforehand. Since my surgery I haven't had a drink, a smoke, a soda, or even caffeine. (I'm so clean! Well, except for the narcotics :-)) You may find that your drugs give you odd cravings (I keep wanting potato chips and chocolate -- two things I never much cared for pre surgery). Veggie soups are really easy and good for you.
I can wash my hair now (in the kitchen sink, which has a spray hose), but need help showering (I hold a towel over the drain incision {I still have my drain in} and my sweetie washes me off). I could cook if I wanted, but I'm still a long way from being able to do laundry or clean.
The dressings were left on for less than a week, and removed by the surgeon. Having the expanders in will make EVERYTHING longer. You'll be on meds longer, achy longer, have drains in . . . etc.
Oh -- I had a unilateral mastectomy, biospy and expander. I was in the hospital 1 day for surgery, then two nights while they figured out how to give me pain meds without me getting ill.
You'll want to plan on walking within a day or two after coming home -- walking at least 30 mins 2x a day will be a goal at first, then it will be your only exercise for awhile. (I have a dog, so she comes and reminds me when its time to go for a walk, even when I don't feel like it.)
We had help (my mom and then sister) for about 6 days post surgery. If I could do it over, I would have help on the day I came home and for about 5 or 6 days from that day. It was a break for my sweetie if nothing else. (My sister cooked and did some cleaning -- that was a blessing!)
I would look into having a cleaning service come in about 2 weeks post surgery, and then again 2 weeks after that. It will be great to not have to worry about cleaning.
I spent the first week I was home mostly sitting in an armchair watching TV (I upped my netflix account to 8 DVDs at a time) -- reading just wasn't possible because of the narcotics. By the second week I could sit at my computer and write and read and all of that. (This week I'll be doing some holiday crafts and cookie baking ). Becuase I still have a drain in, I am still taking narcotics, and so I am not working in the office (I work from home 4-6 hrs a day). The drains are totally variable, but you don't want to rush to get them out.
My sweetie went back to work about a week after my surgery. That was the point where I could get around the house on my own, feed myself, etc.
If you have any particular questions, I'm happy to answer them -- feel free to email me through the board.0 -
can your husbandms_independent said:Thanks
Thanks again everybody. I just got my surgery date----Tuesday-12/15. I'm trying to figure out what to do about having someone fly out to help out post-op (lots of family/friends have offered). 2 weeks before xmas is asking a lot, the week of xmas------maybe asking too much???
I really want my husband to stay home with me the week of surgery--thats when I'll be the most vulnerable and needy. He will do whatever I need/want him to do. But, if he stays that week then the next week is x-mas week. He'll get so behind at work and I'm sure I'll be needing him to miss more time with Dr visits etc. So, I've got lots of thinking to do. I HATE having to depend on other people----maybe that's my lesson.
do any work from home? The first couple of days are very broken up and it'll be hard for him to do much work. But even if he could do 3-4 hours he might not get so far behind.
As for people helping -- maybe people could come in waves, like a week at a time (or even just a few days). After the first week you won't need too much help, just company and a chauffeur to get you to the various medical people.0 -
thanks for lots of detailslisamcsherry said:I'll chime in
On the necessity of button-down shirts -- I bought a couple of men's style (from LL Bean) in chambray and flannel and I literally lived in them the week after surgery. Now (2 .5 weeks post surgery I'm in loose turtlenecks and t-shirts (it gets chilly up here in Seattle, WA).
If you don't want to hassle about food -- make a lot of nutritious casserole or easy-to-reheat meals and freeze them beforehand. Since my surgery I haven't had a drink, a smoke, a soda, or even caffeine. (I'm so clean! Well, except for the narcotics :-)) You may find that your drugs give you odd cravings (I keep wanting potato chips and chocolate -- two things I never much cared for pre surgery). Veggie soups are really easy and good for you.
I can wash my hair now (in the kitchen sink, which has a spray hose), but need help showering (I hold a towel over the drain incision {I still have my drain in} and my sweetie washes me off). I could cook if I wanted, but I'm still a long way from being able to do laundry or clean.
The dressings were left on for less than a week, and removed by the surgeon. Having the expanders in will make EVERYTHING longer. You'll be on meds longer, achy longer, have drains in . . . etc.
Oh -- I had a unilateral mastectomy, biospy and expander. I was in the hospital 1 day for surgery, then two nights while they figured out how to give me pain meds without me getting ill.
You'll want to plan on walking within a day or two after coming home -- walking at least 30 mins 2x a day will be a goal at first, then it will be your only exercise for awhile. (I have a dog, so she comes and reminds me when its time to go for a walk, even when I don't feel like it.)
We had help (my mom and then sister) for about 6 days post surgery. If I could do it over, I would have help on the day I came home and for about 5 or 6 days from that day. It was a break for my sweetie if nothing else. (My sister cooked and did some cleaning -- that was a blessing!)
I would look into having a cleaning service come in about 2 weeks post surgery, and then again 2 weeks after that. It will be great to not have to worry about cleaning.
I spent the first week I was home mostly sitting in an armchair watching TV (I upped my netflix account to 8 DVDs at a time) -- reading just wasn't possible because of the narcotics. By the second week I could sit at my computer and write and read and all of that. (This week I'll be doing some holiday crafts and cookie baking ). Becuase I still have a drain in, I am still taking narcotics, and so I am not working in the office (I work from home 4-6 hrs a day). The drains are totally variable, but you don't want to rush to get them out.
My sweetie went back to work about a week after my surgery. That was the point where I could get around the house on my own, feed myself, etc.
If you have any particular questions, I'm happy to answer them -- feel free to email me through the board.
I appreciate the details. I find my imagination is not my best indicator right now.Last night we "announced" to family and friends the surgery date. My brother-in-law who will be flying in to sit with my husband during the surgery is now coming for the week. He is super helpful, resourseful and calm. I think he will be good for both of us. My sister and niece (she's 19) will be flying in the 20th- 23rd. My sister had her 2nd mastectomy 2 years ago so is very familiar with the whole deal. And her daughter was her primary caregiver. So, that should give my hubby a nice little break. My husband can work from home to an extent. And I'm now thinking after xmas he can help me get ready in the am and then go into work later than usual---it sounds like I may be able to manage after that (except Dr appointments).
It's all feeling more manageable now.
Thanks again!0 -
Great Advice
You've gotten a lot of terrific advice already, and I have very little to add. I also had a bi-lateral mastectomy w/immediate recontruction (expanders). I discovered that the rope belt from my robe served as an excellant tube holder for taking showers! The bulbs from your tubes have a little loop on the top and you can just string them up and tie it around your waist. I also found the most fabulous soft little velcro front close camisole on the tlc website and it had pockets to hold the bulbs - ideal for the first few days when you feel too crappy to worry about what you are wearing. BIG soft button down the front shirts are the key after that, and you can keep your bulbs in your (baggy) jeans pockets.
My family is also all out of town. My best friend came in to sit through surgery with my boyfriend, and take me home 1.5 days after surgery. She stayed for 3 days and my sister flew in for a week. What a luxury! She cleaned my house and cooked a couple of extra meals for us. I really only needed the constant care for about a week and a half and help bathing only the first week. Steve drove me to my Dr's appts until I was cleared to drive myself (2 weeks after surgery). Don't plan on driving until your tubes are out and you can suspend pain meds.
We are all different. Plan on taking just as much time as you need to recover. Wow, it was only a couple weeks ago that I was the Rookie seeking advice! So much has happened so quickly!
Connie0 -
Thanks everybodykimber10 said:I safety pinned my drain
I safety pinned my drain bulbs to the inside of my oversized soft buttonup shirts
Thanks to all who responded. I feel SOOOO much better prepared!
El0
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