Nov 21, 2009 - 11:25 am
I am new to posting here, but have been reading for months.
My husband was diagnosed with Stage IV Prostate Cancer in May. It has mets in his entire lymph system, and every bone in his body. He was only given one treatment choice by several doctors. Hormone shots. He took the treatment, and continues with it. While it isn't fun, it is our only hope. Our oncologist, whom he likes, said that after a year or maybe two, the hormone shots could make enough of a difference that he might actually become a candidate for chemo. That is his first goal.
When he was first diagnosed, he took a few months off of work by going on catastrophic leave. There were many donations of time for his sick pay bank. He works in law enforcement, so there is never a shortage of help from his fellow deputies. In late September, he decided to go back to work on modified duty. He continues this now.
It wears him out. He comes home sore and tired, barely able to move, but he wants to continue. I have given up on this arguement. This is apparently something he feels strongly that he needs to do. For as long as he can. I am not going to continue to try to get him to stop working. One of his Sgts. had called me and asked me what my concerns were for his return to work. We spoke frankly, and covered all our concerns. She had many of the same concerns that I did. She continues to keep an eye on him, and actually, most of his fellow deputies continue to watch out for him. This makes me feel good for him, but it doesn't make him hurt less, or feel less tired out.
We have been married for almost 30 years (next June is 30), and have three daughters and eight grandchildren. We are close with our youngest daughter and her family, our middle daughter lives out of state with her family. Our oldest has decided that she doesn't want much to do with us, that is her choice. We have seen her periodically, but she remains distant and out of regular touch. We have come to terms with that. After a year of going back and forth with her father, she maintains her distance. He has decided that is her choice, and whatever is going on in her head, is her issue, not his or mine.
We spent the last three years caring for my husband's father. He was bedridden, and required full care. He was on hospice for the last year of his life. They were a gift from God. We had a wonderful nurse, and home health aid who was an angel. Our social worker and chaplain were the best advocates we ever had. My father-in-law passed away this past October. While it simplified our life, it has been difficult for my husband. He has now lost both his parents in the last three years.
Mostly I just wanted to introduce myself to you all. I have followed many of your stories and have understood most of your pain. Some of the pain I have yet to face. I also visit the caretaker sight, and the prostate cancer site. When it comes my turn to provide care for my husband, I know I will find the support I need here.