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I need some advice please on how to deal with this rude coment.



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ppurdin's picture
				
ppurdin

				          
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        			    November 17, 2009 - 10:09pm			  			

			
			
Hi everyone,my niece is the one that said this right before I had my surgery.And her mom took me for my treatment today,and she went with us.Out of no where she says I wish I had my breast cut off.She knows everything I been through with BC.The only words I could find to say was you really don,t mean that.She said yes I do.Like what is wrong with her.She also said her grandaughter said she was going to have BC, one day.Like what would make a person say such a thing?I guess I could have told her to go ahead and do it.I can not be that mean.I am wondering the best way to deal with this.I do stay away from her as much as posible.Thanks for listning.Love and Prayers.(Pat).


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always's picture
						
always

				      
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November 17, 2009 - 10:39pm

			
what?
			
How old is this niece?  



			
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CypressCynthia's picture
						
CypressCynthia

				      
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November 17, 2009 - 10:50pm

			
I am confused.... Did she
			
I am confused.... Did she say that she wants her breast off or yours??  If she said hers, maybe she is just scared and I understand that as I always wanted mastectomies rather than cancer.  With my family history, I had a strong gut feeling it was coming.  Maybe you could just ask her why she wants her breast off.  However, if she was talking about you, then I don't know what to say as that is very rude.



			
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RE's picture
						
RE

				      
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November 17, 2009 - 11:09pm

			
Not sure
			
Since I was not present when the comment was made I am not sure how it was meant.  My first thought was that she was making a poor attempt at being supportive.  Often times people do not know what to say so they end up saying not so supportive things when that was not their intention.  


I wish you all the best,


 ♥  RE  ♥



			
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lanie940's picture
						
lanie940

				      
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November 18, 2009 - 2:02pm

			
Agree. when I was waiting in
			
Agree. when I was waiting in the one place to be sure they were taking my sample(stool) a woman proceeded to tell me how all her mom's sister's but one died from cancer---didn't say how old. She was having a biopsy herself, but from the way she spoke it's for removal of calcifications. When I waited yesterday for my abdominal X-Ray, the ladies were talking about their survival Two of them were cancer survivors, one woman in her early 80's and the other was 64 who had lung and brain, she had on a wig, and honest to God, I would have never known it. the woman yester day I so much wanted to say, not to hurt your  feelings, but we cancer survivors prefer to hear about other survivors!



			
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sweetvickid

				      
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November 18, 2009 - 2:14pm

			
You need to talk to her and
			
You need to talk to her and find out why she said it.  If she is afraid of cancer she needs support and education.  One friend's daughter who made that sort of comment was hiding the fact that she was gay.  Another friend made that sort of comment because she was so self conscious about being big and I mean big (double jj) breasted.



			
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elizarose's picture
						
elizarose

				      
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November 18, 2009 - 2:44pm

			
Yeah, I've heard all kinds
			
Yeah, I've heard all kinds of comments from really good friends, ex boyfriends and people I barely know.  One friend has said a few times how she feels her boobs are just in the way and she's tired of dealing with them (she's petite and very large busted.)  Men have asked me if I was going to get a bigger size when I had reconstruction (those comments pissed me off!!)  Some people say how I'll get to have perky breasts, blah blah blah.  I've never liked my breasts, but having bc is a big price to pay for augmented, perky boobs, should I go that route.


Beth



			
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