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everyone is judging me



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pattynonews's picture
				
pattynonews

				          
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        			    November 14, 2009 - 12:28pm			  			

			
			
I ready to call it quits, if i cry to much im told pull your self together read a grieving book, I plan on going out with my friends to see Jacks old band im told im cheating on Jack I give up , I promise Jack I would stay here and take care of his dad but it has his sister stimplatinons Im ready to just give up stay in bed and maybe everyone will be happy  


‹ time to make the quality vs quantity decision thank you ›

						
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MichelleP's picture
						
MichelleP

				      
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November 14, 2009 - 1:32pm

			
Patty
			
Don't listen to what others say or what they think.  You should do what "You and Jack" wanted.  Have you considered grief meetings through hospice?  They are free and usually meet a couple times a week.  Let me know how you are ok?



			
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JaneE2366's picture
						
JaneE2366

				      
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November 14, 2009 - 1:44pm

			
agree with MichelleP
			
Patty,

Turn a deaf ear...if you want to go out....go....if you want to stay home and cry.....cry....although I think the going out if much healthier option for you.  I don't know your entire story but keep in mind, you may not be able to keep all the promises you made to Jack regarding his dad.  Maybe his care should be his daughters.  Hopefully she is only thinking about what is best for him.  Do as Michelle suggests....get yourself some counseling...I know the cancer center we go to offers all kinds of support groups.  You have taken care of Jack and now it is time for you to take of you.

Jane



			
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newbride

				      
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November 14, 2009 - 2:19pm

			
Patty
			
Don't give up -- ignore them all - they are ignorant.  Until they walk a mile in our shoes they have no clue.  Same goes for the people who tell me to stay home with my husband rather than work -- well working gives me sanity and unless someone is planning on paying my bills I still need the paycheck and my husband wants me to work now since there isn't much I can do for him at home right now anyway.  No one can ever understand what it is like until they need to go through it.  Yes, I cry and yes I even laugh but it's what gets me through the day!



			
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esined

				      
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November 14, 2009 - 6:21pm

			
No one can tell you the
			
No one can tell you the "right" way to grieve.  You have been in mourning far longer then they and you have been having to "deal" with so much. It is time for you to take care of you.  From what I read these people were not there for Jack or his father like you and they don't sound as if the are there for you now.

You gave your love, promises and life to Jack.  Cry when you need, read what you want, go where you will.  You need your friends, you need Jack's music, you need your grief to heal.

It amazes me that people think they know what is good for us caregivers.

You have lost much, let the daughter take care of things with Jack's dad.

You have demonstrated how strong you can be for someone else.  It is time to be strong for you.  Jack loved who you are, continue to be her.

Denise  



			
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CherylMike

				      
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November 15, 2009 - 2:56am

			
Patty~
			
You need to listen to one person only - yourself.  You need to do what you feel is right.  No one has the right to tell you how to grieve!  Everyone grieves in his or her own way.  Healing is a process that can not be measured.  Every day is a new day, with it's own set of ups and downs.  If you try to please others around you, you will go crazy.  Some may be sincere in their attempt to help you through your grief, others are not so. However, this does not give anyone the right to dictate how you should react to Jack's passing.  That is just wrong! Take time for yourself and do what feels right.  This will help with the pain. ~Cheryl



			
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