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what should I expect

staceyerwin
Posts: 1
Joined: Nov 2009

I was diagnosed with cervical, uterine and ovarian cancer. It wa alot to take in at one time. I guess I am hoping that one day the phone is going to ring and they tell me it was not cancer. I wait for the phone to ring and when it does I am mad and upset because I want it to be the doctor saying sorry for the mistake but I misdiagnosed you. Well I guess that is not going to happen. So anyway alittle about me. I am married with 4 children and I am 29 years old. My concerns are what is going to happen to my body after I start treatment? I start radiation for 4 weeks on December 4th and then have urgery then do chemotherapy. What should I expect to happen to me. I am so afraid. Wil I be able to take care of my children will I be able to clean. My family is used to me doing all the house work. My husband is the working husabnd and I am the homemaker. Will I feel like myself? Because as of now I am tired and Imean tired and I just want tol ay down and sleep. It is probally depression as of now but how do you stay strong? What do I tell my children? Hoow do I help the cope if I can't even hold it together? I just need someone to tell me the truth. I tired of hearing the same thing It will be ok. Be strong! I get so mad when I hear that I just want to scream. How in the hell do they know how I am feeling I am young with a family and and I want to be here to see them grow up and I have this thing called cancer that can take my life if it wants to and there is nothing I can do it to stop it. Someone out there please help me!!!1

funbeadgirl
Posts: 164
Joined: Jan 2009

I am so very sorry for your diagnosis. I have not had your type of cancer, I had vulvar cancer in January and recently thyroid cancer, and am now waiting for biopsy results for a mole I had removed, so I have been down that 'cancer road', twice in one year, and possibly a 3rd time.
You are right, it is so easy for others to say it will be p.k., you just be strong, but unless a person has been through hearing those words and having to face the treatments, the doctor visits, the procedures, and the waiting, they could not possibly understand.
You are so very young and I am sure your thoughts center on your children, and rightly so. I don't think I have the answer to make it all better for you, but I can tell you that the challenges you will face, will make you a stronger person. I made a decision with my diagnosis that the cancer would just happen to be something that happened to me...I would not allow it to define me as a person. I knew I had to face a lot, some very unpleasant things( I had full pelvic radiation for 5 1/2 weeks, with 2nd degree burns), I decided to take it one treatment, one test, one doctor visit at a time. Every one is different, what worked for me, may not work for another person, I guess I was so touched by the emotion and fear in you posting, I was just compelled to answer you, no one should feel alone through this journey.
I would encourage you to find a support group, either through your local hospital, the American Cancer Society, there is help out there. Hopefully you have family that will be of help to you with your kids and other essential things, but don't sweat the small stuff, there may be things that don't get done the way you would like them, but in the big picture, it doesn't matter. What does matter is that you focus on getting through this hand that was dealt to you and get better!
I never felt mad about my diagnosis, not until just recently, I think because of being diagnosed with a second cancer in 8 months it is hitting me now, but your feelings are your feelings, and no one should tell you not to feel a certain way.It would be a good idea to have someone with you for every doctor appointment, and test, etc., you will not remember everything you are told, because it is so overwhelming and it will be helpful to have another set of eyes and ears to take in information.
Perhaps focusing the energy you do have on taking care of yourself will help you to feel as if you have some control of your situation. Tell your kids only what is age appropriate for them, but don't avoid telling them any thing, as they will see you go through things they do not understand, and if you try to shield them, they may draw their own conclusions and become afraid. I did not tell my grandkids anything, and they heard things said by other people and thought I was going to die, which was not true.
I don't know if I was able to convey my empathy for you, but I do wish you the best and I would like you to post again, so I know how you are doing.

beckyracn's picture
beckyracn
Posts: 323
Joined: May 2009

stacey,
What funbeadgirl wrote is all so true. Each one of us has a different experience. I am so sorry to hear of your diagnosis...sounds like you have had a lot dumped on you at once. I am a one year survivor of cervical ca. Surgery wasn't an option for me once they opened me up and saw how far it spread. I endured lots of external/internal radiation and chemo. I don't know why, but I didn't get angry or depressed when I was diagnosed. I have a fighting spirit and just placed it on my list of things to do...BEAT CA! And so far, so good. I can tell you it was not an easy journey. My children are all grown, didn't make it any easier to tell them, but it hit my grandson (6) hardest. He was my cuddle bug and when we couldn't do this...I showed him my surgical incision and we talked. When I had all my hair cut off, before chemo could take it, we talked, etc. One day/step at a time. He told me that he would know when I was better...when my hair grew back. Fatigue and chemo brain hit me hard...one day at a time. I will honestly say that this past year after treatment has been the hardest on me with all the residual side effects I've experienced and I have had times of depression and anger. I believe that is due to the doctors statement of "We cured you. You should be greatful your alive" attitude. Again...one day at a time. Your about to step onto a roller coaster ride of your life...one that you can say "Hey, I want to get off now!". It is doable and different for everyone. Keep posting. There's great people on this site who do understand what your going through and will stand by you through your journey.

pebbles4814
Posts: 5
Joined: Dec 2009

beckyracn

you said something that maybe can help me. i to had cervical cancer and now i am clean but the side effects that are following are the hardest. you said the year after treatment has been the hardest with all the residual side effects. if you dont mind me asking what are the side effect you are having?

paige

beckyracn's picture
beckyracn
Posts: 323
Joined: May 2009

Paige,
I went back to work two weeks after tx ended...fighting fatigue, chemo brain, and no immune system to speak of. Then had to fight for my job. Suddenly developed a PE, two instances of fractures in L foot, major GI issues, etc. It's been a journey. Learning to listen to what my body is saying and trying to fix it with the help of my acupuncturist, because modern medicine hasn't been real helpful. They say the GI issues are the result of scar tissue, adhesions, and many surgical clips. They can offer a pill for this or that, but that only covers the issue...not fix it. Definitely a learning curve going on.

MMM41
Posts: 3
Joined: Jan 2010

Hi
I am 40 and was diagnosed with cervical cancer last Aug. I have had 3 rounds of Cheom, a radical hyst. and now they suggest radiation. It would be 6 weeks of external radiation. I wanted to know what some of you experienced from radiation. Did you have any badder issues? , how tired did you get? What other side effects did you have? Did you have to strech your vaginal area? was intercourse painful after? What medications did they give you during and after the radiation? Please let me know --Thank you.

MMM41
Posts: 3
Joined: Jan 2010

Hi

Hang in there! Just make sure you take care of you!
I am so sorry about what you are going through! We now tend to look at things differently don't we-
I am 40 and was diagnosed with cervical cancer last Aug. I have had 3 rounds of Cheom, a radical hyst. and now they suggest radiation. It would be 6 weeks of external radiation. I wanted to know what some of you experienced from radiation. Did you have any badder issues? , how tired did you get? What other side effects did you have? Did you have to strech your vaginal area? was intercourse painful after? What medications did they give you during and after the radiation? Please let me know --Thank you.

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