Nov 05, 2009 - 2:07 pm
I am new to this site. I hope to gain friends here that actually understand and feel the pain and agony I do. I also hope to help one another through our pain and share stories of our loved ones that will make us laugh and even some that will make us cry and yet honor those who have moved on to Heaven.
(this may be very long, writing helps me to get out my feelings)
My story begins when I was a 7 year old innocent girl. We had an all american family. It was my mom, dad, and 2 brothers, one older and one younger. My mother had 6 sisters and it we had huge family outings weekly. We were actually at the beach with everyone when we foud out my mom has breast cancer at age 32.
After that it is rather blurry, She went through chemo and radiation for a long time. She had a full mastectomy and then reconstruction which she said was the worst part!! So after a few years of treatment the doctor said she was cancer free. Wow, I remember feeling so happy and like a rock had been lifted off my shoulders even though I was around 10.
She was cancer free for 10 years PRAISE GOD.
We were always such a close knit family that I decided to go to college near by so I could come home alot and spend time with my parents and siblings and cousins. I believe I was a freshman when she found another lump in her reconstruced breast in her chest wall. It came back as cancer. A different type of cancer than what she has before. So, once again she begain treatments and continued them for years. At one point I guess they thought it was in remission so she was again cancer free.
Then about 5 years ago she began getting headaches really bad. At the pit of my stomach I knew it was not good but I did not let myself go there. After many MRI's they finally found a tumor at the base of her skull. It was assumed to be cancer and she had the gamma knife procedure. After finding that the oncologists put her on chemo indefinately. Chemo takes such a toll on the body and spirit. But my mom never said anything negative. Her attitude was amazing and she was the biggest fighter in so many ways. She will forever be my hero. She was on chemo on and off for the rest of her short life. Unfortunately this cancer did not respond to any of the 10 chemos they tried. A month before she passed the oncologists still had hope, they said it wasnt time to plan any last trips. Unfortunatly they were wrong. She was gone a month later. The cancer got into the liver and at the end the liver swelled to atleast twice the size.
My mom meant the world to me. I got married in March and she helped with the whole thing. She was such a fighter, she did not let chemo or the cancer ruin her life. She never gave up. NEVER. I got married and a few months later she was gone. I miss her so much. Words cannot express the emptiness I have. My dad is also my hero. He was by her side the whole time. He never complained, just like my mom. She never complained about the horrible side effects she experienced on chemo. She had such a strong faith in God and she never doubted or asked why her. She helped everyone she could. She always had time to listen to everyones problems and give wonderful advice. I miss her so much.........I am just so lost.