My 55 year old wife of 11 years passed away 2 weeks ago, on 10-21-09. She was diagnosed with Stage IV non-small cell lung cancer in 01/2006, after having the disease misdiagnosed for most of 2005. We were told it was an uncurable form of lung cancer and we didn't know how much time we had left together - as it turns out it was a good amount of time compared to so many others. Still, it wasn't enough.
Cancer afforded us many blessings, just not the blessing of her continured life. I miss her so much and I find these days to be much harder than I expected. Between her death and her memorial service I had little time to grieve. Now our families have gone home, my friends have returned to their lives and I feel the profound emptiness that her passing has left in my life.
I'm not looking for answers....
I'm just venting to those people who know how I feel - I'm just trying to release and share these deepest emotions. For the most part I cry alone - here in my house, when I'm driving, when I'm in the shower or walking to the mailbox....
I look too goofy for others to see me cry - and I sound ridiculous when I try to talk while I'm crying. But I'm crying alot.
Anyway, I just wanted to share my story. During my wife's illness we learned you can love more people than just your family and closest friends. I love you all and I pray for your emotional well-being. Metta to all life and thanks for this opportunity.
