Oct 31, 2009 - 7:48 pm
My husband was diagnosed with Stage III NSC lung cancer seven years ago. In May he became seriously ill and was in the hospital for several weeks. While in the hospital, he was rediagnosed with State IV lung cancer. He was in and out of the hospital for two months before he could start the chemo. He did two weeks of chemo and ended up back in the hospital and then in a subacute rehab for a month. During his stay in the hospital, the oncologist advised me that he was no longer going to be able to do the chemo and that when my husband was out of rehab to contact him and he would discuss it with us. The middle of September, we saw the doctor and he advised us that my husband was too weak and ill to handle the chemo and therefore, would not be able to respond to the treatments because he could not continue it without illness occurring. He then broke the news that my husband only has months to live. My husband is now on hospice care and I am having a hard time dealing with the situation. His family does not come around because I think they are unable to accept the fact that my husband did not want to continue the chemo and that he wanted to go for quality instead of quantity of life. I come from a large family and I only hear from a couple of them. My husband Glenn has started to experience a lot of pain and they put him on morphine. As a result, he is totally different person. Yesterday he could carry on a conversation with me and last night and today I'm lucky if he knows who I am. At one point he was very combative with me. I called the hospice care this morning and they just advised not to give him the morphine. However, it is a 12 hour timed release and I don't know how long it takes to get out of his system. I just don't like the fact that he doesn't know who I am and can barely do anything now. I have tried to talk to family but I don't think they really understand what I am going through. I know it is extremly hard on my husband because he was always such a strong and loving person and now he is no longer there. I don't know what to do because I just can't seem to get someone to actually sit down and talk to me about the situation without changing the subject. I guess that as the saying goes, unless you walk a day in my shoes you won't understand what I'm going through. I had to take leave from my job when my husband first became ill so we have lived on limited income since that time. I'm just afraid that I am going to lose my sanity and I don't know what to do!