Cancer Survivors Network

I am 38 years old and lost my mom to colon cancer this January - 14 days after I became a mom for the first time. I'm not sure what to say. I find myself now months later having moments of visualizing her face when she was just a couple days away from death. She was on morphine and hadn't eaten or drank anything for a long time. She didn't look much like my mom anymore. She was starving. I can't get that picture out of my mind. I try to stay strong because in other aspects of my life I am very happy. My baby girl is beautiful and healthy - although my mom didn't really know that she was there or that I had her. You see, my mom was trying to last until I had my baby girl. She told me that she wanted nothing more than to help raise her grand-daughter. She couldn't wait to see her in my arms. At first when I found out that I was pregnant I thought that it would give my mom a little extra "something" to help boost her hope. But closer to her death I realized that my little girl would be there for me.

Has anyone else had this experience? I miss my mom so much and there is nothing I can do about it.

Now I found out that my Dad has aggressive prostate cancer. I hate cancer!